Out of My Shell

Chapter 7: It's Just a Scratch...

--Chapter 7: It's Just a Scratch...

The ride home was a silent one, each of the heroes stewing bitterly in their failure. Raphael had been quick to temporarily bandage up Leo's wound, but already it was soaked through and running red down the side of his arm.
They parked the Shellraiser in the garage and the four trudged their way through the empty tunnels, their feet sloshing across the damp concrete.
Donnie lingered back farther than the rest of them and Raph glanced back. His eyes looked funny and Raph wondered how much blood he had actually lost with the amount of cuts he had.
When he staggered into the door frame and Raph went over to him, threading an arm around his shoulders to lead him onward.
He couldn't help but blame himself. He should have taken a different turn, shouldn't have let Leo go alone.... He should have gotten to Mikey sooner and he should never have taken his eyes off of Donnie.
...No. Battle was battle. He shouldn't be dwelling such things.
Michelangelo groaned miserably, trying to reach that sore place on the back of his shell. "Ughhh... I think he left a mark..." he whined.
They climbed up the station steps and trudged through the old turnstiles that marked home.
Their father's eyes had instantly widened with worry upon seeing them and he ran over to his sons, inquiring them on all that had happened.
Leo relayed to him the unhappy tale while Raphael took Donnie over to the couch.
"Where's your first aid kit? The big one?"
"Um..." Donnie blinked a moment, trying to remember. "In the lab," he finally answered.
Raph wordlessly took off to retrieve it. Sensei herded Leo and Mikey over to the couch and when Raph returned, he and Sensei worked together to dress their wounds, Leo's injury taking priority.
It was a very deep cut. He was lucky it hadn't been worse. Master Splinter tried to be gentle, working a few special herbal remedies over it to help ease the pain. Raphael helped; fetching anything he needed and afterwards was charged with job of stitching it.
Raph hated playing medic. He just... hated lingering over the wounds of his brothers but he would do it in an instant for any one of them. He'd be damned if Leo's injury got infected.
He calmly threaded the needle through Leo's scales, internally wincing when he did, but he worked dutifully all the way until the end.
"There, it's over," he finally announced.
Master Splinter looked his handiwork over and put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "You did well, my son," he promised.
But Raph didn't feel like he had done well at all. The fact that Leo was so hurt just made him feel useless.
Michelangelo was next. He sat himself cross-legged in front of his father while he rubbed a special ointment over the lesion in his shell.
"Ow ow OW!" he yelped. "This stuff stings!"
"Do not touch," Sensei warned gravely.
Mikey bit his lip, trying his best not to, but it was extremely difficult when every fiber of his being was telling him to do the opposite.
Master Splinter then turned to his eldest. "It will be hard for you to sleep, Leonardo. Come, I have a medicine that will help further ease the pain. DO NOT TOUCH YOUR SHELL!" he scolded Mikey again, catching him in the act.
"Awwgh!!"
His eyes were stern. "....I have medicine for you as well. Come," he ordered.
"Aww no way!" he whined. "It's probably gross!" But knowing his father's words were law, he got up, unhappily dragging his feet over to where he was.
And Master Splinter then turned to Raphael. "You will dress Donatello's wounds."
"Hai Sensei," Raph replied firmly and with that he watched the three of them go.
It was only then that his hands clenched in place with the vain thought:
It just HAD to be Donnie.
Raph turned back to him, seeing he had already gotten started on the process and his eyes set seriously. "Okay, which ones hurt the most?"
"They all feel pretty even..." Donnie shrugged awkwardly, his eyes trained anywhere but him.
"Well we can't let any get infected." Raph grabbed a piece of cotton soaked in rubbing alcohol and dutifully applied it to his face.
"YYYOW!!" Donnie shot out of his seat, trying to suppress the harsh sting in his cheek.
"What?!" Raph wondered in panic.
"Rubbing alcohol?! On my face?! What is wrong with you?!" he wailed.
"What?! What am I supposed to use?!"
"Uh... try hydrogen peroxide!"
"And... where the heck am I supposed to find that?" Raph looked in the box, rummaging nervously through all of the supplies.
Donnie rolled his eyes. "Right here!" he plunged his hand into the box, his fingers happening over his.
Raph glared at him and swatted his hand away, snatching up the bottle for himself. He grabbed a new piece of cotton and angrily tipped the bottle into it, starting the whole process over.
Donnie's eyes narrowed. "I am perfectly capable of..."
"Shut up." Raph snapped. "Sensei said I'm dressin' your wounds so I'm dressin' your wounds."
He grabbed him roughly by the face, brushing the swab along a particularly huge cut that ran across the length of his cheek. Donnie refused to look at his eyes, trying to fight off the treacherous warmth that pooled into his face. It seemed as though they hadn't spoken since the night before, when they had brought into light Raphael's... interest. He hadn't gotten to really speak on the matter and honestly, he still didn't know what to say... or even what to think for that matter.
Raph moved silently from one cut to the next, diligently applying bandages when necessary.
Donnie swallowed nervously.
His eyes just looked so sharp and angry.
He wished he knew what to say.
When Raph had finished with his face, he moved on to his shoulders—then his arms, his chest, the carapace of his shell, working in silence. Donatello stayed as still as he could, trying desperately to think of something in the way of casual conversation. But he was far too distracted, hyper aware of every movement of his brother's hands.
"I'm going to do the ones on your legs," Raph's voice interrupted his thoughts.
Donnie was silent as Raph kneeled in front of him, the medical box lowering again to the floor.
That too-obvious heat in Donnie's face rose even higher and he swallowed, determined now more than ever to make small talk.
"U-Um...! Gee Metaldroid was tough!" He blurted out.
He instantly cringed, mentally cursing his own stupid mouth.
Smooth, Donnie, smooth.
"...Yeah," Raph agreed lamely. And just like that things were awkward again.
Donnie quietly stared at Raph's work, only now noticing that he had actually received a few cuts himself. And that gave them something to talk about.
"...Are you okay?" he asked, lowering his eyes.
"'m fine," Raph insisted, "Just got a few scrapes. They're nothin' serious."
"......Y-You got one ugly looking one on your forehead," he joked.
"I'll manage," he dismissed.
Donnie clenched his hands into restless, awkward fists. He just couldn't hold still any longer. He reached over into the medical box, quickly putting together something that would at least help the cut on Raph's face. Then he grabbed Raph's chin, tilting his face up slightly towards the light.
"Hey...!"
"Hold still," he instructed.
"You hold still!"
Donnie grabbed him harshly by the chin. "Hold. Still," He demanded. His eyes were stern. And so Raph awkwardly shifted just a little closer between his legs, raising his chin up so Donnie could better see.
The cotton felt cool and clean against his face like it always did when Donnie patched him up.
But Raph's eyes looked at anywhere but him.
Donatello's mind instantly shifted back to idle conversation but he fell short as he finished up, tilting his head slightly to admire his work. "Good.... Better?"
Raph's throat caught a little and he tore his eyes away clumsily. "...Y-Yeah. It's fine."
His hands fumbled back into the box. He had only a few ones left and then he would be finished so he set his mind hard to the task.
"I... um...!" Donnie cleared his throat. "I... have one other one on the inside of my leg. Right here." he pointed to a long, but otherwise insignificant scratch that started from the back of his knee and up the length of his thigh.
Raph glanced up to him curiously and Donnie nervously opened his legs a little wider for him to treat it, his face flushed red.
What was he doing? He didn't need that wound treated. It was only a scratch, but Donnie didn't want Raph to leave just yet, not without them talking things over properly at least.
Raphael noticed the rush of color in his brother's face but he tried to ignore it, busying himself again with the task at hand.
And now Donnie became impatient with himself, unable to figure out a way to arrange his words. His finger tapped nervously, his eyes lingering over Raph's face then down to the tattered tails of his mask that sat on his shoulder.
All he had to do was speak. Why was it such a hard thing to do?
His eyes flickered hard over to the red fabric and he thoughtlessly reached out and took them, studying the worn material between his fingers.
Raph froze.
Donnie quickly realized what he was doing and yanked his hand back as though the action had burned him.
After a wary moment Raph continued again, opening a roll of gauze in his hands and he began to unnecessarily wrap the scratch, as Donnie seemed to be buying time.
The mind of the tinkerer turned impatiently as he felt the gentle material wrap around his leg, all the way down the injury and then Raph finished and he grabbed the scissors to cut it.
"UM!"
Raph raised his eyes.
"I... t-think I might need a bit more," Donnie said quickly.
Now there was no doubt he was buying time, but Raph gave him what he wanted, wrapping his leg anew with another layer of gauze.
His face flushed and he asked again. "M-More..."
Raph could feel Donnie's eyes studying him, it was hard to focus. He wanted to look, wanted to look away, Raph's pulse racing quick when he met his gaze. And even when Donnie's eyes fled, his voice coached him onwards: "...A little bit more..."
And Raph kept wrapping, taking his leg, wrapping it over and over and over until he was wearing the entire supply, forcing Raph to tie it off with awkward fingers, trapped in his brother's heated stare.
"It's all I've got," he told him.
This was not normal. This was not normal at all. Raph swallowed nervously and gambled his hand up the warm inside of his bandaged leg. And Donnie watched, saying nothing. His fingers rose out of his compulsion, playing again nervously around the red ragged ends. And Raphael rose up just a little bit higher to give him better purchase.
"Um... R-Raph..."
Thousand-jumbled-thought stares trapped the two, locking a strange type of fear tight in their throats. Donnie's subconscious screamed. How had things gotten this far? He should move, look away, say or do something... but he forgot everything here, even how to breathe.
This was wrong. This was so very wrong. He knew that, but.....
The haze rolled over Donnie's eyes and Raph's gaze dropped nervously to his lips.
They were drawing him in, playing against the brother's internal cowardice.
It was only when he felt the fluttering presence of Raphael's breath on his mouth that Donnie realized what he had allowed and he turned his head away, pushing him back.
"Wait... Raph..."
Raph pulled back, studying him with his hard, burning eyes. "...You want this just as badly as I do."
Donnie shook his head firmly. "It isn't right."
Raph delicately reached over and ran his fingers all the way done the length of his mask. "...Isn't it?" he challenged gruffly.
"No, it isn't." His voice was firm, his eyes locked firmly to the floor.
It was too dangerous to look anywhere else.
But Raph still stared. He stared until it made his blood burn. Donnie didn't even have the common courtesy to say that to his face and what was worse, it forced him stare right in the face of his words.
This wasn't right.
...Of course it wasn't right! And somehow that made him angrier than anything. As quick and strange as everything had been swirling about in his head, he was sick and tired of all his thoughts and feelings looping back to just that... something so pathetic and stupid.
That this was wrong... he was wrong. And gross, and disgusting and defective....
Whether it was true or not, it all just pissed him off!
Raph ground his teeth angrily and he threw the medical equipment into the box, shutting it with a harsh slam and he stormed away from his brother.
Donnie sighed. "Raph..." He got up hastily and went after him. God forbid he victimized another one of his poor first aid kits because of his account.
He arrived just in time to see Raph open the door to the medical bay.
"That one goes back to my room I need to restock it," he informed.
Raph slammed the door hard and stalked dangerously onwards towards his room.
"Raph... come on, don't be like this..."
"I'm not bein' like anything," be opened the door to his room and violently hurled it inside. "You're the one actin' like some prudish little nerd twat."
"P-Prudish...?!"
"Yeah, you're stringin' me along, Donnie. Do ya want me or not? Oh, wait," he paused sarcastically, "I already know the answer. You just aren't man enough to admit it..."
"M-Man...?!" He glanced around to verify they were alone and then lowered his voice to a hiss. "We are brothers, Raph! And I have a girl I like! Or have you forgotten those minor details?!"
"...You weren't thinking about either of those things a minute ago."
Donnie had no reply to that.
Raph's eyes narrowed venomously. "You don't have an injury on the inside of your thigh. The only reason you wanted me there was so you could keep me between your legs."
Donnie just gawked, not quite believing what he was hearing. "I-I... do so have an...!"
Raph threw him into the wall, his eyes sharp as daggers. He grabbed the bandage on his thigh and ripped it off to dangle it in front of his face. Donatello winced and gritted his teeth uncomfortably under Raph's anger driven strength.
"That is a scratch... paper cut worthy at best..." he growled. He pushed up into him leaning in mockingly to his ear. "How's your sleep?"
Donnie shoved him away. "S-Stop it!"
Raph just glared.
".....Shell tease."
Donnie's eyes widened and he sidestepped through his door, slamming it hard in Raphael's face and Raph called a little bit louder:
"You're a shell tease Donnie!"
Donnie opened the door. "Do you want the whole lair to hear?!" he hissed.
"Maybe I do," he cracked. Of course he didn't really. Raph was just looking to rile Donnie up to his level. It didn't matter if it turned into an all-out fight, as long as it went somewhere—because anywhere was better than where they were.
And now Donnie glared daggers at him. "Get away from me Raph." He tried to slam the door but Raph caught it and shoved it back, stalking dangerously into his room.
"I ain't gonna just sit around and have you drivin' me crazy... like I'm in the wrong, when you and I are in the exact same boat! You want me... and I want you... why is that so hard to admit?!"
Donnie faltered in his step, feeling that heat rise again in his face as he glared back at his brother. "M-Maybe you want me... but... I-I want to be left alone."
"...No ya don't." He leaned in and his voice grew low. "Ya can't eat... Ya can't sleep..."
Donnie's eyes panned away.
"See?! Ya can't even look at me! You're in the exact same state as me!" He grabbed him by the wrist to show him the burns still healing over his fingertips. "Look! Ya even burnt your hand!"
Donnie yanked out of his touch. "F-fixing the Shellraiser!" he snapped. "It has nothing to do with anything!"
"Yeah? Since when are you ever that careless?"
"Since..." Donnie swallowed, trapped again without an answer.
......And then Raph's demeanor suddenly changed. The toughest of all the brothers shifted uncomfortably on his heels, rubbing the back of his neck the way he did when he was truly nervous.
"...I... can be romantic, Donnie," he grumbled.
Donnie's entire mind screeched to a halt, his ocher eyes wide. Did he just seriously say that?
Surely he had misheard...
"R-R-Raph..."
Said older turtle suddenly snatched his brother's hand tight in his fist, so much so that it was painful for Donnie and he winced in pain.
Then Donnie watched as his fingers were pulled violently to Raph's lips. He mentally yelped at the feel of his lips pressing gently against his injuries. And those eyes burnt deeply into him, locking his whole heart down.
"C'mon Don..." His voice wrenched at his insides.
"...Do you even realize what you're asking of me?" Donnie finally murmured, "B-Because I-I'm not quite sure I... do..." His voice trailed off, drying up in his throat.
"...No," Raph swallowed honestly. "...I don't know—but I'm startin' to figure it out."
Donnie looked up at him.
And the words just came tumbling out of his mouth. "I want you..... I don't know why 'n I can't explain it... I just.... I know I do, okay?"
His voice was so gentle. Donnie's knees threatened to buckle beneath him. "W-Why me?"
"I just said I don't know why... okay?! I just..."
Suddenly they heard a sound. Something was approaching, making its way down the hallway. And a shadow grew across the floor outside. Donnie gasped in panic and quickly grabbed Raphael by the face, shoving him hard under his table just as the shadow made its way into his room.
"My son...?"
Donnie spun around clumsily now face to face with his father.
"Y-Y-Y-Yes Sensei?!"
Master Splinter blinked, a bit perplexed by how startled he seemed.
"...Where is Raphael?" he finally asked.
"Um... I... I don't know... I-In his room I guess? Yeah... h-he went to bed just a little bit ago after he dressed my wounds."
Sensei's wise eyes washed over his son. Something was definitely off about his behavior. He was stiff as a board and he looked almost feverish.
"Are you feeling alright?" he asked, concerned.
"Hai Sensei!"
Master Splinter figured he was lying, but it was also clear he did not want to be disturbed and he turned around to leave, taking one last worried glance back. "...You would do well to get some rest yourself."
"Hai Sensei."
He lingered a moment more, almost as though trying to sense the trouble with his son but decided to put it to rest. Whatever it was, it was probably a subject best left alone for the night to configure and so he bid his son:
"...Goodnight."
Donnie said goodnight to his father and he watched him silently pass again through the door.
The second he left, Raph rose sneakily up from his hiding place.
"Actually... one more thing..."
Their eyes widened at hearing their father's voice and Raph quickly ducked back down, as Master Splinter stood again beneath the door.
"If you see Michelangelo get up in the middle of the night, be sure he does not touch his shell," he told him.
"I'll... try my best," Donnie affirmed and with that, his father disappeared to retire for the night. Donnie heaved a sigh and he turned back to find his brother standing there tall behind his experiment table.
His eyes instantly fled to the floor. "L-Look, Raph... W-We can talk about this later. Y-You should head back to your room... It's really late and..."
He caught those piercing eyes, only for an instant but it was enough to make his face run hot but he continued firmly.
"I-I won't forget what you said. I'll think about it okay? Just... not anymore tonight, please?"
Raph thought that over. "...Fine," he agreed. That was probably the best response he was going to hear all night.
He'd think about it. That was good.
Raph nodded. "....G'night Donnie." And with those parting words, Raph briskly walked out of the room, shutting the door behind him...
And Donnie was left alone with his own choked out: "...Goodnight."