Unknown Number: hey its calum
Unknown Number: im sorry :(
Unknown Number: plz call me back when you get the chance x
I stare, transfixed, at the small screen, too frozen to move. My fingers hover over the keys, about to type a response, but something stops me.
One part of me, the curious part, wants to know what he has to say, but the other, larger part, is reluctant.
No, I finally decide, I won't give in.
No matter how tempting it may be.
Not here, not now.
Calum Hood should be the last thing on my mind right now, but for some odd reason I can't seem to stop thinking about him. Not even listening to music helps drown out his distant pleas, hacking away at my brain and almost causing me to give in.
Almost. But not quite.
Something is stopping me, although I have no idea what. Maybe it's just my paranoid self, reminding me that once I cave, it's for good and there's no going back.
The questions I should be asking myself are all related to math and logic, not feelings, but somehow I find myself lost in both categories.
As usual, I am spending my Sunday morning alone, left with only my thoughts. Sprawled across my desk are various textbooks, notebooks, and my MacBook, but I can't seem to focus on any of it. My thoughts are way too jumbled to concentrate.
I am currently trapped in my own abyss of pleading thoughts, inner battles, and disagreements with my subconscious. If it weren't for my still-beating heart, I would be long gone by now.
Letting out a frustrated groan, I soon give up trying to solve my Calculus equations. It's apparent I'm not getting anywhere in terms of homework, sorting out my emotions, and categorizing my priorities.
At least one thing is clear to me.
I have to get out of this place.
Soon I find myself dressed and ready to go, my hair in a ponytail and my sneakers laced up. I plug in my earbuds, grab my keys, and set out, locking the apartment behind me.
When I set out jogging on the road, my Green Day playlist begins to blare out of my earbuds, as if the last attempt to silence my thoughts and emotions.
The music seems to have the desired effect, as soon I find my steps falling into perfect sync of "American Idiot," leaving everything I have ever known behind me as I descend into the depths of the unknown. I don't know where I'm going, nor do I care at the moment.
I mean, what was Calum thinking, texting me out of the blue like that? Is he stupid enough to think that after all this time we'll just pick up where we left off?
Well, I guess his timing wasn't completely random. Knowing him, Michael probably had some say in it. He has always understood me a heck of a lot better than Calum ever will.
Michael. Of course, Michael. The one person I thought I could trust.
I grit my teeth and direct my frustration back to the trail before me: back to the tall, overgrown trees and the occasional squirrel or to, climbing up and down with purpose. I don't know where I am by now, but I can always retrace my steps if I get lost.
Remember that one time when you went for a jog, lost the trail, and had to call Calum to come pick you up?
My pace slows.
