WAS IT ONLY LUST? 😌

Dilemma

It was the time for our 2nd trip. We were a gang of 4 boys and two girls including me.

I got dressed in a pink top and jeans and he was wearing a blue shirt and jeans.

We entered the auto for reaching a temple. Thats when he kept his hand on my back.

" Come... lets enter " he said in a normal tone.

The reason why I ignored him touching me. May be he didnt do it intentionally.

In the auto... Swati... the another girl was sitting in the middle and we were sitting the either sides. He was brushing his fingers against my shoulders continuously. I was understanding it wasnt unintentional at all. I stared at him and he raised his brow. I felt ticklish. I got down the auto. I turned to see Swati and Deepak when I got shocked.

He was brushing his hands on her back has well. I was confused. What kind of a guy he is. One moment he keeps his hands on me and the next moment on some other girl that too infront of me.

May be there is nothing bad in his mind and may be I am thinking too much. May be he has grown up like that only and for him it is not unethical.

We went inside the temple. We reached a pond inside the temple and we were standing near it.

Swati : what if I fall down...

Deepak : I wont let you fall. I will hold you.

I was like 😒

I chose to ignore and walked. He followed me and again kept his hand on my back. I made it look uneasy and he removed his hand. Such moments happened throughout the outing and I got more and more confused with him.

More than him and his behaviour I was confused with myself and my behaviour. Why the hell aint I stopping him? I am a smart independent lady who wont take such kind of shit from anyone. I will teach such people a good lesson. Why am I behaving so weak infront of him? Whatever he is doing is totally wrong and I should stop him and teach him a lesson. But I am not doing anything... simply watching him and letting him do whatever he wants.

We reached our hostel and I changed into my comfortable clothes. I went into a deep thought.

This thing continued for many days. I asked Swati directly about him. She told yeah he did flirt with her also initially but didnt do anything more than that. His actions continued and my confusions and dilemma increased more. I dont know why on earth I was not able to or rather willing to stop him.

On the other side.. there was a good friend of him... Pavan...

He told me that Deepak likes me. The way he talks about me. The way he praises me infront of him.

But if someone likes me why dont I feel that? In those eyes I see only lust for me and nothing else.

Please god. Show me a way out of this maize... I want to stop thinking about him 24 hours. Help me out....

Thanks for reading 😘😘