Section F: Fairy Tales & Physicists

Chapter 17

"Don't worry, girlie—those stupid bent wand things make a big bang, is all. Just you see if you can't wriggle free from Mr Beardy Knob-head there, and I'll find something extra special for him in my bag of tricks. I'm thinking a bit of the old squirty-bum, or maybe some explodey up-chuck—that's always a good'un. Maybe even both. He looks like he could do with a bit of unclogging."

Fields lined up his sights in the centre of Radovic's forehead. "Embers, don't listen to the witch. That wand can kill you."

The princess rolled her eyes. "Oh, please. Honestly Eel, if I didn't already know that do you think this wretched fellow would still be capable of fathering children? Peregrine explained guns to me back at the house. Now, if it's not too much trouble, kindly rescue me at once."

"I don't think so." Radovic pressed his gun harder into Embers' temple, making her wince. "You may as well lower your weapon, Agent Fields. This control room is bullet-proof. Even so, any sudden moves, and the princess dies."

"No, please." Featherstone was clearly distraught. "I really liked that one, Dr Radovic. And I don't think she hated me nearly as much as the others. Please don't kill her, too."

"Shut up, Frank. Now, agents, as this young woman has proven to be something of a handful, I'm going to release her from the control room, so that my colleague and I might work in peace. You two..."—he shot a suspicious glance at the witch, who gave him a cheerful wink—"you three are going to behave yourselves and stay very still while I do so. Frank, lower the ladder."

"Yes, Dr Radovic." Featherstone ducked down out of sight, and moments later, with a mechanical whirr, a steep metallic stairway extended smoothly down from the underside of the loft. No sooner had it touched down with a gentle clank, a little in front of the monster enclosure, than Embers began to clamber down.

"I'm so glad you're back, Dr Radovic." Displaying another of the rapid switches in mood to which he seemed prone, Featherstone's voice now radiated childlike enthusiasm. "I've made some really exciting breakthroughs since we last spoke. My new algorithms have practically doubled the wavelength of the probability-curve amplifiers. There's been some issues with stability, and I had to move the portal out into the hangar where there's more space, but you simply won't believe what I've been able to import."

The moment Embers' feet touched the floor, the stairway began to retract. "A dragon, Frank? Seriously? How do you propose we contain that? Are you going to keep it on a leash? Honestly, I can't leave you alone for five minutes. First, you're wasting your time mooning over those wretched fairy-tale princesses, and now we've got a dragon to deal with. There can be no distractions, not until the time is right. You need to grow up, Frank. I can't keep on cleaning up your messes forever."

Gown now a little worse for wear, but still as radiant as ever, Embers ran to the agents, enveloping them in a group hug. "Oh, I'm so glad to see you both. The moment you disappeared over the edge of the crater, that wretched man pointed his gun at me and forced me to go with him. I'm ever so sorry for any trouble I've caused."

Never much of a hugger, Fields was a little taken aback to find himself sandwiched between his partner and the princess. A little taken aback, and a little...something else. Nipping that thought off in the bud, he gently extricated himself. "That's okay. Radovic slipped under all of our radars."

Peregrine gave Ember's shoulder a squeeze. "Yeah, don't sweat it, Slugger. What I want to know is how the hell did you both get up in that control room?"

"Through a tunnel, my dear Peregrine. Not far from where you left your dear Pearl, that horrid fellow directed me into the concealed entrance to a tunnel. It was most dreadfully musty and frightfully dank, however, after what seemed an interminable amount of trudging, we arrived at a stairway which led to the room in question. I must say, I really feared my time in this strange new world had taken a decided turn for the worse, so you can imagine how pleased I was when I saw you both."