Fix him (Levi x Erwin)

The Darkness

Levi's POV

I finally started to get sleep for once and everything was looking up. Then everyone on my team, minus Eren, died in the female titan attack. Oh Petra. Why didn't you ever tell me how you felt? It's possible she did I just wasn't paying attention. Why did you love me? I mean really I'm a total mess that hates everything and everyone and wishes he could fly. Why would anyone like me? No one cares. No one ever will. I have always been alone and I always will. I reach under my mattress and pull out my knife. Ever since the day with Erwin I haven't cut my arms. I still cut on my legs but he never knew. Mike stopped asking about why I smelled like blood. I think Erwin told him what happened so he can't believe that I would continue. Petra! No matter what I do my thoughts go back to her! I roll up my sleeves and cut my arms in many places. I don't bother with a bandage. If I bleed to death I don't care. I'm actually hoping for that. I lay on the floor bleeding out. I can clean this later. I stare at the ceiling and start to cry. After what feels like forever I get up and grab my clean supplies. I clean the mess by now I've stoped bleeding so I change cloths then go to the window in my office. "Hi Petra I'm not sure if you can hear me or if you're even there. I don't know if you even want to see me right now or if you even can b-but......but there's something I have tell you. Your dad told me how you felt so I just wanted to tell you I like guys. I'm sorry I never told you sooner. I'm sorry this happened to you and the rest of them. I'm sorry that you never found someone that could love you in that way back. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I really truly am so very sorry." I say aloud as I burst into tears. I collapse to the floor, roll in a ball, and start sobbing. I didn't get any sleep that night though I did eventually stop crying. I couldn't move though so I spent the entire night in a ball on the floor. "Oh Levi it's to wake up!" Hanji said with a little bit of sing in her voice. I didn't realize it was morning. "I'm awake Hanji." I say standing up off the floor. Hanji's expression changes. "Why were you on the floor?" "Dose it matter." "I was only asking I didn't mean to make you mad I'm sorry." "Let's just go eat." Hanji and I went the mess hall. There was no joking or laughing this time. In line we stood quite got our food and sat down. Erwin and Mike were talking. Hanji interrupted them and started talking about titans. They laughed together but I didn't. I didn't laugh. I didn't smile. I didn't even speak. When Mike and Hanji left to go train their teams I kind of upset. I don't have a team to train anymore. I had Eren but it wasn't the same. Erwin was sitting across the table from me. Suddenly he put his hand on top of mine. "If you want you can spend the day with me." He says with a gentle smile. I nod. I don't want to be a burden but I don't want to be alone. "Ok come with me." He says standing up. I stand up and follow him out to his office. We go in and shut the door. Out of nowhere Erwin hugs me. I feel the warmth of his body on mine. I feel his muscles as they hold on to me tightly. I smell the sent of his cologne. All of the sudden I get really mad. Why dose he have to treat me like this one hugging and being romantic to me then he's making out with Pixis then he's hugging me and being romantic to me again. Out of rage I pull away from him. "I was hoping you'd forgotten. I tried so hard to pretend like it didn't happen but I knew that it did and that we couldn't just pretend like it didn't. Levi I have to go to a meeting in the interior. Will you come with me? It makes logical sense. You to have control of Eren." "No I'm not going." "I understand this isn't the best time. However it is important." "Are you ordering me to?" "No it's up to you. I just don't feel comfortable leaving you here all alone after.... you know....... what happened." Erwin said looking down. He feels sorry for me. I don't want to go but he is really trying to help me. "Fine Erwin, lets go." I say with a sigh.