The Secrets Her Heart Keeps

Chapter Thirty-Nine

The vile sounds of Emma heaving up her breakfast echoes off the bathroom walls. Deep inside Regina's heart, she is relieved that they have both been compelled to listen to each other during these horrendous moments.

She carefully sweeps her girlfriend's hair behind her back and loosely braids those wild locks, so no strands become abused during her vomiting. Very delicately, she rubs Emma's back to soothe the terror inflicting inside of her, holding her own breath as she violently throws up what Regina can only assume is a lung.

"Mommy sick?" Hope peeks her head around the corner, uncertain if she really wants to face whatever is tormenting her blonde mother right now.

"Yes, baby girl, mommy is sick," Regina softly whispers, peering over her shoulder to discover her timid eighteen-month-old lingering in the doorway. "Can you climb back onto the bed and watch Mickey? I'll be right there."

Hope nods, eyeing her blonde mother carefully before she slowly steps back and disappears back into the bedroom. Emma falls back onto her heels, burying her face in her hands and groaning like a fierce lion ready to surrender to the circle of life.

"Em?" She only receives a terrifying moan in return. "Please, will you take the test now?" She gently inquires as if she's tiptoeing her way through the conversation because she knows deep down exactly how it will end.

Emma tenses immediately from the request, prompting Regina's hand to continue rubbing soothingly up and down her back. She doesn't even have to speak, and Regina already feels the knife twisting in her heart from the pain they have been suffering through.

"I can't."

"I think you need to."

"I can't take another month of disappointment," Emma mumbles into her palms and Regina knows those pesky tears are lingering in the back of her dry and abused throat.

"I know, Em-"

"It's been six months, Regina. Month after month of failed pregnancy tests. I can't take another," her voice quakes viciously, causing Regina's own tears to swell from the heartache.

"Em-"

"No," Emma cries, spinning around on her bottom, and folding her legs like a pretzel as her glossy eyes meet hers. "Maybe Hope was a once in a lifetime miracle. I mean Alice and Robin have yet to conceive and Alice is very magical."

"I know," she whispers, mirroring Emma's position on the cold bathroom tile. "Sometimes, I think the same thing and every month I die a little on the inside right along with you, but I really believe in my heart that you need to take this test now," she urges, enclosing the distance between them, so she can place a reassuring kiss to her forehead.

Her lips linger for a moment, basking in the familiar warmth emitting from her girlfriend's body because she feels safe and content when Emma is that close. She knows in her heart that whatever they are suffering through right now will be overcome by their bond and deep love.

"Mommies," Hope's little voice interrupts, along with some buzzing sound.

Emma quickly wipes away her tears as Regina turns to meet her daughter's gaze. Hope is standing in the doorway again, holding Emma's phone that is lighting up most likely with another emergency.

"Can you bring me mommy's phone?" Regina asks, holding out her hand for the device, while Emma continues sniffling and wiping her face with her sleeve.

Hope runs over with a giant grin taking over her face, because this little girl loves when she is helpful, and drops the phone into Regina's hand. She squats down and slowly crawls over to Emma, sensing the emotions rippling off her blonde mother.