First Kiss

6

Miss Stacie writes her name on the board with flourish. Old fashioned, I realize, but I like it. Our school is kind of modern and old fashioned at the same time. Cambria High uses money more for the important things like the cirriculum and technology, not much for looks, so some schoolrooms still have chalkboards. Others need new desks, and the cafeteria needs a kitchen renovation.

"Most of you have auditioned already, but there are still some of you who have yet to do it." I swear she had looked directly at me when she said that. I want to be anywhere else but here. I had memorized lines, and tomorrow was the announcement. I was scared. I had decided to just get it over with and do it during lunch...and I'm thinking that might be the worst decision of my life. We go over the play that class and after an excruciatingly long time, we're done.

Lunch comes around. Luckily I'm not really noticed by anyone as I slip into the drama room. Miss Stacie is there; honestly, I almost think she lives there. She's never anywhere else. Not even at lunch apparently.

"I've come to audition?" I say quietly, trying to not sound disdainful. I like Miss Stacie...for the most part. But she gives you the part she thinks you deserve, whether you auditioned for a lead or a minor role.

"Who are you auditioning for?" Miss Stacie asks. I know my answer won't matter anyway.

"Kitty."

She smiles faintly.

"Alright, then."

"The audition went well, I guess."

Lex and I are walking to the bus. She decided to come with me instead of Mitchell for the first time this year.

"Who'd you audition for?"

"Kitty."

She grins. She finds Kitty hilarious. Unlike me, she's read the book series, and she seemingly knows more about the characters than she knows about me.

"You seem more like Lara Jean, though."

I had started reading the book before the audition. It was pretty good so far, but I had only read a few chapters. Lara Jean...seemed sheltered, awkward, quiet, yet creative. Real. She was sort of like me, I guess, but right now she just seemed so...ordinary.

"She's the girl in every teen book there is."

Alex laughs at this.

"Look, I've read a ton more than you. Thousands I bet. You're no Jamie Sullivan or Cherry Valance. For sure."

I stare at her.

"The who-now?"

She shakes her head.

"Nevermind. My point is that you aren't ordinary. And I bet Miss Stacie will give you Lara Jean."

I laugh.

"Yeah, because I'm such an amazing actor."

We get on the bus, and Lex gives me the window seat. She's always let me have it. She's nice like that.

"So...the party? Are you going to come?"

I shrug.

"Maybe. I'll ask my dad."

"I bet he'll say yes," Lex assures me.

I shrug again.

"It's pretty intimidating..." Especially for me, I say silently in my head.

"We're juniors, remember?" Lex counters. She's smiling. I can tell.

I don't answer. We're in silence for a few minutes until we pull up to her block.

"Imagine what will happen if you did get a lead role, though," she says before she stands up. "Wouldn't that be cool?"

I don't answer for a minute, and she waves and gets off before I do.

"Maybe," I say quietly, now that I'm alone. When I'm alone, I can convince myself to believe anything.