First Kiss

7

I think about it for a while. It makes sense, I guess. I'm testing new waters, getting out of my comfort zone. I can go to one party. I mean, as long as you stay away from the boozy people, assuming there was going to be booze. I'm about 99.9999% sure there is going to be.

My dad said I could go.

"As long as yous stay with Alex," he had said. Yeah, around her and her boyfriend. While they talk to each other, I'll just...sit there. Yeah.

I finish reading "To All The Boys I've Loved Before" after talking with my dad. It's really good, and I wanted to read the others. But after the play was over with. After I can look at all of their names and see them as book characters and not potential torture.

"List is posted." The intercom in the school crackles and the message is repeated. "List for the end of the year production is posted."

My heart is pounding like a hammer. Why is it pounding so hard? I probably got a really small part. Agh, who am I kidding? I know Miss Stacie wants to torture me. She'd give me a bigger part, not necessarily a leading role, but a bigger part than I wanted.

And then I read the list. I don't even have to look past the first name, because the first name is mine.

Brianna Chen----------Lara Jean

Wait...what? I didn't expect that. I didn't even want that. I'm not an actor. I've never had a lead role, even. Why did this happen?

I continue reading down. Margot is played by Ally Brookes. Kitty is played by Madison Lee. At least both of them are part Asian. Josh Sanderson is played by Josh Wilson. It'll be easy to call him by the right name, I guess. The Dad is played by Dylan Jordan. Gen is played by Vanessa Williams. Peter Kavinsky is...woah. Peter Kavinsky is going to be played by Cole Emerson.

Alex shrieks when I tell her on our way to class.

"You're going to have to act alongside Emerson?" she says in disbelief. I nod miserably. She lets out a long breath.

"Awwwkward."

"Tell me about it. Also, since when is he a theater kid?"

I'm really scared, but I try to hide it. In reality, I don't know what's going to happen. Lex is gabbering, and I zone out for a moment. This is Cole we're talking about. Cole.

"You do realize you have to kiss him, right?"

I freeze in my tracks.

"Don't tell me you forgot about that. You have to initiate too, remember?"

I groan.

"No way. I'm not doing this."

Lex doesn't know if she should laugh or stay serious.

"No, you are not backing out of this. It's almost like fate."

I slowly begin to walk again.

"More like my demise."

Lex rolls her eyes.

"He's not that bad, you know."

I scoff.

"Yeah. Right. Tell that to the police department."

She sighs.

"This will be your first kiss."

"I'm not doing it."

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not."

"You can't get out of it."

"Watch me."

Lex glares at me, a smile playing at her lips.

"Be honest. You want to, at least a little bit."

I feel heat rising to my cheeks.

"No."

Lex is unconvinced, but she continues to her next point.

"Give it a chance, Bri. Give him a chance."

She knows me too well. She knows that I'm scared to get attached to him, even as a friend, because he's reckless. Maybe even dangerous. If I ever got involved...or if he lured me in just to dump me later...I'd crawl back into the shell I had been in throughout eighth grade and freshman year. Nobody knows except for her, but when Cole began acting out, it hit me hard. We used to be friends, you know?

"It could be worse," Alex reminds me. "I mean, you gotta admit...Emerson's hot."

I cover my face with my hands.

"Alex! Let's just get to class."

Lex just laughs at me again. I'm glad she's not worried, at least.