Saints and Sinners

In Another Universe

This chapter is dedicated to @DirectionalBliss , hope you're doing well. And thank you for the comments in the last chapter .x

_____________________________

Edward's POV~

"No fucking way are you going by yourself, this could be a trap!"

I sighed and pressed the phone between my shoulder and cheek so I could grab a pair of sweatpants from my closet. "Oh I'm sorry, did you have any better ideas? We can't take them both on by ourselves, you've said it yourself--we need help."

"Styles, I'm serious."

"So am I, Malik." I pressed speaker and put the phone down on my bed. I changed out of my clothes and into my sweats.

"I'm coming with you."

"Hell no, you said it yourself, it could be a trap." A gentle knock sounded on my door, "hold on," I grabbed the phone and took it off speaker. "Yeah?"

The door opened to a sleepy Harry. "Can I sleep in here tonight?" I nodded, the tilt of my head motioning towards the bed. He shuffled sleepily over and bundled himself under my duvet. "If you're going, so am I. We're a team, remember?" Zayn argued into the phone, I couldn't fight with him in front of Harry. Or else he might want to come too. "Fine. Pick me up tomorrow?"

Harry gave me a curious look. "Zayn," I mouthed. Harry smiled, and held out his hand. "Harry wants to talk to you." I warned, before passing him the phone. Harry put it on speaker, "Hey jaan," Zayn greeted gently. "Hey Z, what's up?"

"Just making breakfast plans with your brother, is that okay?"

"Mhm," Harry grinned, shooting me a look like 'he's got you wrapped around his finger'. I rolled my eyes. "Thanks for having us for dinner, your mum is really lovely."

Zayn chuckled, "You're welcome, she loves you too." He quickly added, "Both of you."

"Somehow I doubt that's true." I muttered, but he heard it anyway. Harry frowned. "Stop it, she loves you. It's just me dating two boys--it'll take her some adjusting. It took us time, too, to figure how we'd work."

"Do you think Karen will be happy for us too?" Harry asked nervously, chewing on his lip.

"Who cares? She's not our mother." I added, a slight edge in my tone.

"Styles," Zayn warned, I cut him off, "What? The minute we turn eighteen and finish school we'll be out of her hair. I don't plan on seeing her again, and you shouldn't either."

Harry frowned, "She wants to be a part of our lives. She even said she wants to come to my cheer competitions when I'm at Uni. Why are you so against being a part of this family? After all this time, you still don't care about them? What about Liam? Are we gonna cut him out too?"

Zayn was silent this time, they both wanted me to answer. But what could I say? That putting my trust in the hands of adults terrified me? That I'd rather be strapped to a table and dissected--while still conscious--than give away my control by taking down my defenses, even if it meant the chances of having a family? Because I don't think I'd be able to survive losing another family. I barely survived losing my parents. I couldn't take that kind of a loss again. I couldn't protect myself, or Harry, if I let myself be vulnerable again. If I opened myself up to the possibility of their love.  Of the possibility of belonging somewhere. Because it can be taken away. And I'm not strong enough for that. It would destroy me.

Not to mention it feels like I'd be cheating on my real parents. I mean, sure they're dead, but it'd still feel wrong..Like I was replacing them. Or that I didn't care about them. I mean, they sacrificed themselves for me. That's like, the ultimate declaration of love. Isn't it? I can't just spit in their face by pretending Karen is my mother, or Geoff my father, they're not.