4/11/2019 [4:46 pm]
How do you know..when the time is right? How do you know just when you can say those three words that people so easily toss between each other like they're playing monkey in the middle? When exactly can you let the sweet sound of total and utter surrender spill ever so gently from your lips? I ask myself these things so often. When i'm talking to you, I nearly let that phrase escape. It tears through my lungs, desperately clawing at my throat to let it out. I cannot. I want to tell you I ~ you. It races through my mind, time after time after time. Don't you know just how much you fill my heart? I want to be sure that this is ~ that I am feeling. I want to be sure that you ~ me too. Perhaps, I will wait until you let it escape, so that I can follow in your footsteps with these damned words that I am too afraid to let out. I am so close to slipping, but I am much more terrified of being too quick. I have never felt a ~ of this intensity. What's even more unnerving is I have never fallen for someone like..you. I know everyone says that they've never felt like this about anyone, hell, even i've said it in soppy ~ letters when I was 14. This, however, is truly something different. I long for you like the sun longs to be ever so near to its soulmate, the moon. When I am angry, your sweet, melodic voice tames the wildest of beasts in my heart. Every fiber of your being entrances my soul. Each and every waking moment of my day, I want to be wrapped in your words, held under your hypnotic thoughts. I want to fall into you ever so deeply. I long to drown in whatever fills your presence. From the beginning, our spark was so intense; so heavy. Not a thing could change my mind about you. Naysayers argue that we couldn't have possibly felt the way we did and still do, because it has been but a mere strip of time on a forever ticking clock. Angel, I remind them that ~ is not measured by time or distance, but by connection. I am and always have been attached to your hip. You have my heart. You have my mind. You have my soul. You have my entire being. I am but a few words away from total surrender. Although in retrospect, those three words can mean close to nothing because of how they're flung about like an old baseball, they mean the world to me; as do you. You know what though, without it falling from my lips just yet, I hope you know. I hope you feel like I ~ you because I do. With every piece of me, I ~ you. I haven't much to give, i'm not some wonderful, spectacular person, but I ~ you. Completely.
