Bowser and the Koopalings: An Origin Story (UNDER HEAVY REWRITES)

Two

Bowser hobbled into the drawing room of his castle, and promptly fell onto the couch with exhaustion. He wanted to fall asleep right there, hopeful that the different surroundings would give him some leeway pertaining to his dreams, but he was still shaken from last night and didn't want to take his chances.

"Good morning, Sire!" Kamek chirped, a strong, black coffee in his hand. Bowser made a piteous sound in response, to which Kamek plopped down beside him on the couch.

"Sire, you smell like... smoke. And you look exhausted! Did you sleep at all last night?"

"Sure, I guess. Slept like any other night." He may have slept peacefully for about 10 minutes. He also did have a nightmare nearly every night, so technically he wasn't lying.

"The rings under your eyes are blacker than my coffee."

"So I got up to use the bathroom a few times, you know that comes with getting older."

Bowser was starting to tick Kamek off. "If I recall correctly, you are not as old as me, whippersnapper."

"Can you get off my case, old geezer?"

Kamek sighed. "I know about your nightmares, Sire."

Bowser went silent.

"Why did you keep them from me?" Kamek asked.

Did Kamek have to know everything about him? Sure, he was the closest thing to a father Bowser ever had, but he was a grown person now. Couldn't he see that?

"Because I wanted to figure this thing out myself. I don't need magic guiding me along like training wheels on a bike for everything I do."

While that was a reason, what he didn't tell Kamek is that he had a hunch as to what they might mean. If he was right, it was too embarrassing to share, and he didn't want Kamek finding out through some interpretation.

"I understand you're upset about your recent defeat, Sire, but that doesn't mean you need to redeem yourself in unrelated things." Kamek sagely replied.

"I didn't say-"

"You know I don't need to hear you say it." Kamek sounded like his boundless magical skill caused him to know this, but really it was just his boundless knowledge of Bowser.

The King grumbled and turned away, embarrassed.

"Sire, you know you won't stay down for long. You never give up. And besides, nobody is the perfect king or general or magician. Defeat makes you appreciate your victories. And defeat helps you learn. You mustn't let this go to your head."

Bowser knew his advisor was right, but this was his first major military defeat. He wasn't exactly on cloud nine. Nor was he feeling like the cleverest leader in the world.

"Do you know what my dreams are?" Bowser inquired, anxious.

"No. I wanted you to tell me. It helps to know how the dreamer feels when interpreting. Come. Let us go my crystal ball."

Bowser panicked. "Uh, y'know what, I'm suddenly feeling better! Thanks for this talk, Kamek, I really-"

Kamek grabbed Bowser's tail before he could escape. He wagged his free finger condescendingly.

"Uh, uh. You're coming with me, Sire."

His Royal Crankiness groaned for the fortieth time since last night.

Once to Kamek's quarters, he asked the King to imagine his entire nightmare, down to the last detail.

"Absolutely not."

"Sire-"

"Nope. Can't make me."

"Well, actually I can..."

"I'll make sure you pay for it if you do."

Kamek whacked him on the head with his wand. "Bowser, quit being such a baby. If you ever want to have this problem solved, you need to tackle it head on."

"Yeah, and look what happened last time I tried that."

"A military loss can't even be compared to... oh, forget it! You quit being a coward this instant and tell me your dream!"

"Why is this so important to you, anyway?"

"One, that's a stupid question. And two, your kingdom is starting to be affected by this dream nonsense. You can't even rule properly because of your lack of sleep! Do you realize that last week you passed a bill that legalized bank robbery? Your reasoning was that the money would 'just end up back in the bank anyway.'"

Bowser squinted his eyes in thought. He did remember that, but it made more sense at the time...

"If you're not going to do it for me," Kamek begged, "At least do it for your subjects!"

"Ugh, all right! Fine! Just get it copied into the crystal ball quickly!"

"Of course, Sire."

Bowser imagined every terrifying detail, every excruciating second in the darkness. It unnerved him so much, he swore there were insects crawling on his skin.

When it was finally finished, he watched Kamek concentrate. He waved his wrinkled hands about the crystal ball in a mystical manner, trying to find the key to Bowser's good night sleep. The King was half relieved he finally told someone his dreams, and half embarrassed at what they might mean. His hypothesis was still floating around in his mind.

Suddenly, Kamek's head snapped up and he gasped.

"Wha-What is it, Kamek?!" Bowser responded, anxious.

"These dreams aren't just dreams, Sire..." he replied, starstruck.

"Then what ARE they?!" Bowser bellowed.

"They're... They're a message from the Star Spirits!"