A Price To Be Paid (John Proudstar)

Roadtrip...

"I know I wasn't there long, but I could have sworn headquarters were back that way..." I mentioned, gesturing behind me as John drove down the darkening highway.

John shifted uneasily in his seat. "We aren't there any longer. Uh, Sentinel Services attacked a week or so after you left. It was destroyed. I don't know if you ever met the Strucker siblings, they were on the transport bus with you. Anyway, they tore the whole building to pieces, protecting the refugees there. We're heading to Washington D.C., where we took up residence in a safehouse of sorts outside the city. It's not nearly as big as the bank, but it's safe and protected. There aren't many of us left. Most are staying close to one another, and we're working with what we have."

I furrowed my brow as I let what he said sink in. He glanced at me, and I could tell he was trying to size me up. I gave him a half smile. Reaching across the space between us, I grabbed his hand from the steering wheel, cupping it in mine.

"I'm so sorry, I can only imagine how important that place was to you. It may have been broken, but I could see how much people needed the refuge. I'm sorry it's gone." I whispered, gazing up at him.

John smiled weakly, and held my hand tightly as he stammered, trying to find the right words, "Listen, I know you didn't bring this up, but I shouldn't have kissed you that day. I was hurting after Dreamer died, and I wasn't really thinking about how it would affect you. I mean, I'm not saying that it meant anything to you, but... I know you said that you left because of Lorna, but was that really the only reason you left?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but nearly choked on my words. What could I say? I stared out the window.

John sighed, and slowly laced his fingers with mine. I glanced towards him and he gave me a reassuring smile, urging me to speak. He could get me to spill my guts with the grin.

I nodded, and said, "I left initially because of the Frost sisters and Lorna. They had a lot of anger, and I was afraid of what that might do to the Underground. But, a part of it was all of the emotions being thrown at me. I told you I was weak. A part of those emotions were my own, about what happened between us. I should have stayed to talk it through with you, but it was easier to just leave, even if I left you questioning what had happened. I'm so selfish. I'm sorry."

I tried to pull my hand from his, but he tightened his grip. I glanced up at him, and saw how calm he was. I was sure he would be angry. I searched his emotions deeper, and found zero malice. All I found was sadness.

John said, somberly, "I wish you had stayed, but I understand why you left. A lot was on your shoulders, things I put on you. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have made you use your powers. Or throw my emotions at you with that kiss. I wish things had all gone so differently."

I shook my head vigorously as I gushed, "No, okay, no, you didn't make me do anything. I wanted to kiss you, but I know you regretted it. I was weak. I shouldn't have run. I thought, well, I thought I could get away from the sadness, but it's everywhere. And I wanted to help everyone, but it was just so dark and dreary. But, I know now that I have to stand up for others like us. If I want to find a place of peace, I have to make it."

John smiled, and said, "You sound like a rebel..." He grinned at me, before it faltered a bit. "...I didn't regret the kiss, you know, it was an awesome kiss. What I regretted was not waiting. I had just lost my ex, and I was a mess. You could sense it, I know it. You didn't deserve me throwing myself at you, begging you to fix it."

"You're fine. I knew you were hurting. I shouldn't have even played with the idea of what we did, if anyone took advantage of the situation, it was me." I muttered to myself.

"Are you admitting to taking advantage of me?" He said, obviously amused.

I rolled my eyes, and tightened my grip on his hand. He laughed quietly, and turned his attention back towards the road. We sat in comfortable silence for a few hours. Eventually, we drove across state lines into Kentucky.