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CASSIAN SAW THE SMALL FIGURE OF ODESSA RISE FROM THE LOG ACROSS FROM HIM, frowning at the decision, Cassian let his gaze follow her as she walked towards the surrounding wood. Seeing her body get swallowed by the dark verdant shrubbery, the boy was in half the mind to go and follow her to ensure her safety but hastily decided against it. Cassian cared deeply for Odessa - more than anyone in his entire life - but he often got small voices whispering pleasant doubts in his ear. Doubts that made him rethink his role in her life. Although these words hurt, Cassian had become numb to the pain.
Numb enough to ignore the constant glare that Persephone gifted whenever she were to see him; numb enough to ignore the clear divide between him and the rest of his siblings; and definitely numb enough to ignore his fathers particularly violent outbursts.
The last thing that Cassian could remember seeing was the stern face of his father. The next thing he saw was a flash of black and red. A sudden searing hot sting then embraced the right side of his face. The slap strong enough to draw pinpricks of blood to emerge from his cheekbone. Ignoring the burn of warm tears beginning to fight their way forward, Cassian sucked up and deep breath and muttered a soft apology to his father. As the older man dismissed him, Cassian dragged his tall body into the back entrance way of the tavern. Walking into his and Odessa's shared room, Cassian let his figure collapse and finally let the built up tears fall.
Cassian couldn't remember the last time he cried this much. He often got sad but he had made sure to create a barricade between him and his ability to cry. But hearing his father berate him on how he took care of his little sister and calling him names that he'd never pin the man to utter in his life - demolished that barricade.
As Cassian sobbed quietly into his hands, lanky legs curled into his chest - morphing his body into the shape of a ball - he tried to pinpoint the time when everything had gone wrong.
He desperately wished that Adorella or Seraphina had accompanied them to King's Landing. The two women being the only other two who ever engaged in much conversation - Ambrose would occasionally check up on his half brother but the two weren't particularly close. Cassian adored Adorella. The doe-eyed woman always welcoming him with warm smiles full of love and affection. It was something that made him wish she were his biological mother more and more. Adorella wasn't - by any means - not his mother; the woman had raised him since infancy. But the desire to meet his real mother burnt deeply within the boy's soul.
A stuttered breath escaped his trembling lips - Cassian letting his body release a deep sigh and allowing himself to breathe again. Closing his hazel eyes, he stumbled over to the vanity - positioning himself so that he could stare into the mirror. God - he looked like a mess. Red rings encircled his eyes. The green becoming startlingly apparent against the muddy brown of the insides of his iris'. Dried teardrops decorated his bottom lashes, creating a sparkling effect against the dull light of the candle beside him.
Cassian liked his eyes. He liked the green and coffee mix. He liked the hints of pale blue and occasional orange that appeared when he was in certain lights. It was just a shame that he shared them with a person who hurt him so much. Cassian wasn't ashamed of his body, he was actually quite proud. Believing that he was in good shape and although his height got in the way - he was comfortable. Until he isn't.
He looks at his father and can't help but see so many familiarities. So many things that link him to the man and he hates it - he loathes it with his entire being. When he was younger, Cassian thought of ways to somehow mutilate his body to try and sever the connections. One night, Adorella had found Cassian attempting to stab himself in the eye with a small dagger in hopes of removing them. That was the last time the boy had cried. Seeing the look of devastation in the woman's eyes hurt him too much to bare.
Casting the memory back - away from the forefront of his mind, Cassian stretched his legs and opted to go and find Odessa. Walking back past the dwindling light of the fire, Cassian followed the small footprints that melded in the mud-covered ground. Upon hearing voices, he abandoned the trail and veered to the right.
Seeing his little sister laughing with the youngest Lannister, put him on edge. Cassian didn't trust the Lannisters - mainly due to horrific stories he had heard about the children's father, Tywin.
He knew Odessa wasn't stupid - far from it actually - but she was ingénue. She had good instincts but if you were a pretty face and had good humour, Odessa's common sense abandons her. Cassian always thought this was his sisters biggest flaw; not her loud mouth or inability to focus, but the fact that she had no control over her tedious attractions.
Frowning, the boy thought he should make himself known. Stepping forward, Cassian - still not being noticed - cleared his throat slightly and called his sisters name. Seeing her head whip around in shock and feeling the burning gaze from the Lannister boy – Cassian's throat closed up slightly. Wheezing out an excuse to leave, the boy swiftly removed himself and essentially ran back the way he came. Feeling the gaze of Steffon Lannister made Cassian feel uncomfortable. He'd always hated peoples eyes racking over him, he much preferred to stay out of the limelight. But added with his lack of trust towards the Lannister's caused Cassian to panic slightly.
Hearing his sister emerge from the forest and sit next to him, Cassian's head sunk further into his scar-ridden hands. He just wanted to be left alone at this point in time. Knowing that he could feel another wave of hot tears sting his eyes, Cassian bit his lip and looked up to meet his sisters eyes - lit with concern and sadness.
The next thing he felt were the familair feeling of his sisters small arms encircle him and begin to cradle the back of his head. Cassian hated appearing so weak; he was supposed to protect her - keep her safe from harm. Yet here she was consoling him as he fell apart. She's only fifteen. She shouldn't have to deal with my shit too, he thought.
As Cassian let himself sink deeper into his little sister's arms, he felt hollow and empty - but there was also a small spark of hope beginning to burn in the pits of his stomach. However Cassian knew better than to expwect it to grow.
