Camp Half Blood Tour

Seventh Wheel

Festus-

Firstly, if you're reading this, I've located a program in my server that could translate my...form of communication to English. Anyway:

The mood set was awkward. Intensely awkward. First Percy and Jason tried to sit at the head of the table, then shuffled awkwardly into the only other two remaining seats. One next to Leo and Piper, the other next to Nico and Annabeth. Seeing as Jason knew about Nico's male orientation, especially his Percy orientation (he has a diary. He thinks my only communication is my head. It's not. I read over his shoulder) he chose the seat next to Piper....and Leo. As much I love Leo, he made some bad decisions today. He could have melted me! Part of. He could have melted a part of me. Thank you, Percy. But Jason, whew, that would've been horrible! There'd be a blood stain in the dinner hall, not to mention the money! I've not been able to get insurance, seeing as demigods technically "don't exist".

Anyway, seating basically was (going from the head, all the way around going clockwise:)

-Annabeth

-Percy

-Nico

-Hazel

-Frank

-Leo

-Jason

-Piper

So that Piper was sitting next to both Annabeth and Jason. And Annabeth was sitting next to Percy and Piper.

Everything that Percy eats is blue. Every. Single. Thing. It's like "Green Eggs and Ham" but blue. Blue diet Coke. Blue pizza. Blue chocolate icecream with blue cherries. EVERYTHING. So tonight, he has blue chicken wings with blue orange pop (weird, dude) and blue ketchup.

Besides that, the only other noticeable thing to an outsider would be their orientation. Annabeth was facing Percy, naturally, and also, unintentionally, Nico. Percy was just facing her. Hazel was turning back and forth between Frank and Nico and occasionally laughing at something Leo says. Nico is turned towards Hazel completely. He turned the back of the chair so that if Percy looked to the left, he would see the back of Nico's head. All things like that.

Now that we're caught up, time for present tense!

"So! Leo- how did you fashion the food so that it can be ordered in blue?" Frank asks, trying to lighten the mood.

"Ways," is Leo's one word response.

"Leo. Tell us. Please," Piper charm speaks him. Im so glad that doesn't work on me! She's probably make me fly to Paris, knowing Aphrodite's children.

"Yeah, whatever. The whole thing's set up on basically a trig wire going wifisignally-" he starts.

"You mean electromagnetically," Annabeth interrupts, interrupting her conversation with Percy also. (I'll give ya all the juicy deats later)

"Yeah, whateverally. My little in invisible Harpy friends use that to get food like a phone gets texts from a different one. Blue food coloring is like one of those annoying app notifications that pop up when you do certain things. Like get Percy food."

"That's cool!" Nico says, marveling at how fast a thirty pound chicken showed up on his plate.

"Dear Gods," Piper says, running out of the room. They don't know this, but to vomit. She's been a vegetarian since she was eight when she drove past a chicken slaughter house where the smell made her insides want to come out.

"Guys. It's time to be serious," Annabeth started once Piper returned. No one really understood why she changed her shirt but whatevs, right? (I am so sorry. I was programmed this way, as Teen Bot Sensation, Robot Gaga, would say. Leo fixed my brain and he was the first human I'd had contact with since the incident back in 1902. Oh. I guess you guys don't know about that. Hey! Don't look in those records! It's classified! NOOO THE GUYS WILL KILL ME!!

Oh, right. You don't know where Bunker Two is, only Bunker Nine. Thanks, Rick!

"You guys are out of control!"

"Us? You and Percy go into Percy's room for hours at a time!" Leo, the only person able to be immature at such a tense time, bursts out. It makes Frank shudder, Nico, Percy and Annabeth get red, Hazel laugh, Jason roll his eyes, and Piper glare.

"Anyway," Annabeth starts back up, glaring at Leo, "this is serious. What happened today!? Leo, I'm assuming you started it?"

"Bruh."

"That's not a word."

"Bruh."

"That's not a word!"

"Bruh!"

"THAT'S NOT A WORD!"

"BRUH!"

"Dear Gods! Frank! Could you tell me what actually happened?!" She asks in a way that says it is not a question and, more importantly, the answer is not no.

"Well..... um, Leo was being, uh...Leo and um..." he glanced around, not wanting to get anyone mad at him. "Well, I think Jason, maybe, um....overreacted? Just a little! But, um, maybe Piper used maybe too much charm speak? It, uh, kind of messes with your head, Pipe, and makes you not think rationally. Not even in the intended way, but like....differently. And so I shoved Jason down and Percy fizzled out Leo." It's kind of cute how he brought up how he saved Jason like dude please don't kill me I'm on your side IM ON YOUR SIDE!!

"Okay, thank you, Frank. Then, Percy, what happened with you and Nico, because you're obviously upset at each other."

"Nothing." they said at the same time, making Hazel giggle.

"Okay........" she looks questioningly at Percy, "okay, so, um....Hazel? Is something comical?"

"No ma'am."

"Okay. Leo?"

"Yeah."

"LAY THE CRAP OFF ME AND PERCY! JUST BECAUSE YOU'ER THE SEVENTH WHEEL AND CAN'T GET GIRLFRIEND DOESN'T MEAN YOU NEED TO BE SO- SO- SO ANNOYING! I'VE MET APOLLO IN LESS ANNOYING STATES OF BEING!!"

"Annabeth!" Percy, appalled, shouts. He stands up so fast that he knocks his chair back, scaring Nico. It's a chain reaction that has Nico on the floor, lifeless, on top of two chairs, Hazel crying at his side.

Leo gets up. "Thank you, Harpies." he says, and leaves to go up deck to talk to me. It's kind of funny how mortal minds change things so the perspective comes out in good light. He doesn't even mean to.

"Annabeth! What- what was that?!" Percy shouts.

"Percy, you need to just lay off her because you know as well as anyone that he can be annoying as crap and, furthermore, SO CAN YOU!" Jason yells.

"Jason, don't you start with me! Leo, Leo, was about to kick your butt today, and you think you can take me?"

"LISTEN HERE, JACKSON YOU MAY HAVE HAD SLIGHTLY MORE TRAINING THAN ME-"

"YOU MEAN LIKE FIVE YEARS?!"

"WHATEVER!! YOU'RE IN MY TERF NOW!!"

"Guys, guys! What's the matter with you?!" Piper exclaims, as my exterior is buffeted with winds.

"ANNABETH YOU KILLED NICO!!" Hazel wails.

"This! Is! Too! Much!" Frank yells and faints.

"EVERYONE TO YOUR ROOMS. NOW." Chiron, from the Iris message, screams at them.

A bunch of 'yes sir's, 'whatever's and 'fine's are given in return, as the grudging demigods return to their cabins. No one is sleeping together (literal, of course, not, like, inappropriate. They might do that. I don't know. I don't want to know. That's why I turn off my cameras after ten o'clock.)

Today has been a long day. Leo's still telling me about how mean everyone is to him. I don't disagree but doesn't be kind of provoke it? I mean, I know his strategy is to be funny so people will keep you around for laughs. But when you bite the hand that feeds you, it never ends well.

Eventually, he gets tired of complaining and goes down to his room with a box of pizza from the Harpies. How does that kid stay so thin?!