Polar Opposites

Chapter 5: Little Do You Know

Meredith laid on the grass in her favorite place. It was a clearing by a lake on an unowned piece of land. She came whenever she needed an escape. She also often went there to write. Sometimes deer would fill the field and a few times she had fed them. They came up to her and were rarely startled by her. The birds around her sang as she wrote down scattered lyrics into a journal. She sat down the notebook and let out a heavy sigh as her phone began to ring. It was Derek. She hit decline and thought of another line for her song. She jotted down the lyrics and continued thinking. She pondered about many things as she listened to the surrounding nature. She heard her phone ring over and over again before finally answering it.

"What do you want?" She asked in an agitated tone. "I want you to talk to me, Mer. You can tell me anything, I'm serious," Derek said sincerely. "I know you've already said it! It's just- I'm just not ready to," She sighed. "Well, when you are ready you can tell me. I'll wait for you," he said sweetly. She let out a brief chuckle. "That may be the cheesiest thing I've ever heard," she said. "At least I'm telling the truth," he replied smiling. She smiled and he could feel it through the phone. Another line popped into her brain and she scribbled it down. "What are you doing right now?" He asked simply. "I'm writing," she replied. "Homework?" He asked. "Uh, yeah," she bluffed. "Do you need any help?" He asked yet another question. "No, I'm fine," she responded. "Listen, Derek, I left to get some space so just...let me have some," she said calmly. "Okay," he replied. "Okay," she responded. They both hung up and she took a deep breath trying to get grounded again.

Meredith tossed and turned in the grass trying to write but her mind was somewhere else. She couldn't stop thinking about him. No matter how hard she tried she couldn't forget the feeling of their skin across one another. She sighed and stood up to stretch. She thought that if she got a little blood flow going then maybe her writing would flow too. In the end though...it didn't work. The thought of him was like a leech latching onto her. She grabbed her few belongings and stood up. She stood up so fast that she saw stars and got a bit off balance. She walked the small dirt path to her car and drove back to her dorm. Back to Derek.

She knocked on his door and rubbed her hands together. She was anxious but it's what she had to do. "Coming!" She heard him yell from inside. She giggled as she heard something fall. "H-...Meredith," He said fumbling over his words. "Derek, can I come in?" She asked. "Yeah, definitely," He said stepping aside so she could come in. She walked towards the couch. "I was five," she said out of nowhere. "What?" Derek asked confused as he sat down beside her. "I was five...when my mother died," she said as tears pricked her eyes. He placed his hand on her back and rubbed it softly. "Mer...I'm so sorry," he said frowning. "The funny thing is I never really knew her. The only thing I can really remember is when she died," she said propping her arms up on her knees. "Actually...I can remember one thing. Right before she died she got me this doll...it had brunette hair and detachable organs. I could never remember their actual names so I made names up for them," she scoffed. "Meredith..." he breathed as he moved his hand to her shoulder. "She used to get mad at me for not using the proper terminology so I studied until I could remember all of them. She was so bitter...and sad," she breathed as she scrunched her eyebrows. He just sat there and listened to her vent. "She was so mean and never made time for me. She would always say 'work is priority.' I knew that if you don't put your all in your work that you won't succeed but really, in the end, your only priority shouldn't be your work. Family...family should be everyone's first priority but no...not hers," she said with a dead look on her face. "Thank you for telling me," he said softly.

"Derek...she killed herself," she said turning to him. "Oh," he said as he felt his chest tighten. "In front of me..." she continued. "Mer..." he breathed. It was the only thing he could manage to get out. He couldn't imagine not having his wonderful mother. He reached out to tuck a pink strand behind her ear and she leaned into his touch. "She just offed herself right in front of her child's moldable mind. She was so selfish but still, I tried everything I could to save her. She told me not to call the police so I had to wait until she was unconscious to could call 911. I tried to cover the cuts but there was just...so much blood. Derek, I was covered and by the time the ambulance got there she was gone. They called time of death on the spot," she said wiping tears from her face. "And my dad...he was a total bastard. I haven't talked to him since I was 16 when I moved out...well...when he kicked me out for bringing a chick over. She was my girlfriend at the time but that ended pretty quickly because neither one of our parents wanted us to be together. They didn't accept us," she said softly. "Oh, yeah. Guess I probably told you that I'm queer...bi...whatever you want to label me as," she chuckled sarcastically. Derek smiled and hugged her. She was reluctant at first but eased her way into it. She snaked her arms around his neck and closed her eyes as his warm body engulfed her. "Meredith, I don't care if you like chicks, dicks, or both...that's all up to you. That's not gonna change anything and I'm sorry about your mom. If I could make it better I would," He said quietly as they stayed in their embrace. She smiled and closed her eyes tighter as she tried not to tear up.

As he pulled away she sniffled slightly and wiped her nose. He ran his fingers under eyes and smiled meekly. She took off her glasses and wiped her face with her arm. Derek stood up abruptly and walked towards the kitchen. "What are you doing?" She asked turning around to watch him. "I'm grabbing you some water," he said grabbing it out of his fridge. "Thanks," She said taking it out of his hand as he sat back down. "No problem," he said simply. "Why do you want to know me?" She asked meekly. "Because," He said. "Because?" She questioned. "Because you're you. And what little I know about you makes me want to know more. You intrigue me, Meredith...I don't actually know you're last name..." he said with a little chuckle. "Grey," She said with a tiny giggle. "Meredith Elizabeth Grey," She said. "Right, Derek Christopher Shepherd," he said smiling. "So, Derek Christopher Shepherd...do you have any ice cream?" She asked. "Uhh, I don't think so," he said trying to remember if he had it or not. "Well then, we are going to my dorm," she said standing up grabbing his hand. "Why?" He asked standing up. "Because we are going to get really drunk, eat ice cream, and watch shitty 80's movies," she said. "Oh, and I'll probably cry some more but we aren't gonna talk about that," she said with a goofy smile. "Well, at least I'll be there to help with the crying," he said letting go of her hand. "Why'd you stop?" She asked. "Stop what?" He asked. "Holding my hand," she said. "Oh, because I figured you didn't want me to," He said shrugging his shoulders. "You have to. It's in the fake boyfriend rule book," she said slapping his ass before grabbing his hand. "Oh, is it now?" He asked raising his eyebrows and squeezing her hand. "It's rule number one. Don't forget," she said with a smirk before they left to her dorm.

"Thank god for tequila," she said grabbing the tequila and ice cream. "And strawberry ice cream," she continued. "Coffee ice cream is better," He said teasing her. "I don't think you want to press those buttons Mr. McNastyIceCream," She said setting down the coffee and tequila in front of them on her couch. "Mr. McWhatNow? What about something like Mr. McPrettyBoy?" He asked. "No...Mr...McDreamy. That's it," she said nodding her head.    "Hmm, I guess that will have to work for now," he said grabbing his spoon. "Where are the bowls?" He asked confused. "Oh, I just eat straight out of the gallon," she said as she opened the container. "So your ice cream is just an edible cesspool?" He asked raising a brow. "Precisely," She said pointing her spoon at him after taking a bite. "Nice to know. Next time I'll bring my own carton," He picked. "Ha, funny," She said taking a drink of the tequila straight from the bottle. She passed the bottle to him and took another bite of ice cream. "It's like 2 o'clock," he said setting the tequila on the table. "Doesn't mean you can't drink. Time is a state of mind," she said shoveling the ice cream into her mouth. "Well, I guess my state of mind is off," he said sticking his spoon into the container. "Turn on the music," she said taking another swig of the drink. "Okay," he said standing up. He walked over to the small stereo system and turned it on. He sat back down on the couch and took another bite. "What are you doing? Get up and dance with me," she said getting off of the couch.

He stood up with a groan and took a drink of the tequila. If he was going to be dancing he figured he needed it. She started dancing and singing the lyrics to the song. He hadn't heard her sing before but her voice swept him off of his feet. He smiled as she jumped around and enjoyed herself. He walked over to her and she put her hands on his hips as she swayed hers. She continued singing and dancing and he couldn't help but admire her. She looked up at him as he stopped moving. "Ya there bud?" She asked. He answered her with a light kiss on her lips. "Yeah, I'm here," he said as he started dancing. She giggled as she watched him badly dance around the room. She joined him and they danced it out around her dorm room.