AntiXReader| what're you doing to me?

Part 8: untitled

Y/n pov:
     I stand back against the mirrored wall waiting for him to start the shower. It's an old industrial shower where the head is about a foot wide. Probably has amazing pressure. He walks in shortly after me and smiles at me, twisting the handle by the shower door.
"How hot?" He asks peeking over his shoulder at me.
"I guess it's up to you." I say
My showers are normally scolding.
He turns the handle and steam rises from above the door, flooding over. He turns to me and the sudden heat in the cold room gives me goosebumps. He reaches two hands behind me, walking closer, and pulls off what's left of my shirt. Gliding his hands down my sides and pulling me to him, he puts his forehead to mine. I bring my arms up and around his shoulders.Why am I doing this? I have a life, a house, friends.. Why am I here letting myself become Stockholmed by a monster?
He reaches to open the door and I follow him. He let's me enter first and the wet heat on my bruised skin is like heaven. There's an illusion of security as he closes the door and stands behind me. I turn around slowly, letting him fill my vision. It feels as though I'll never know anything else but his touch.  I wish there was something about me that made me like everyone else he's ever brought here. All these thoughts are torn from my mind as his hand meets my cheek and I close my eyes. He steps as close as he can and turns me so my back is against the cool tile. Opening my eyes he looks back into them with a smile. As much as I love this, I just need to know.
"Why?" I spat quick. I'm sure my face looks concerning as his expression changes from content to worry.
"Why what?"
"Why me? Why like this? Why didn't you just kill me? Why did you do what you did when you don't-What else is there that I should know? Just, why!"
Im riled up and yell my last words. Breathing heavy I lean my head and just sigh.
"Y/n," He says, and I look up.
His face grows cold, and fear fills my head as my face feels hot and my ears ring.
"I couldn't even begin to explain how wrong this is for me. This isn't something I'm even supposed to be able to feel. All this compassion and lust, I'm just not. I never have"
"So why me.." I ask rhetorically looking up at the water. My eyes begin to burn and swell as camouflaged tears fall.
"Do you want to go?"
I'm startled. I had assumed I was trapped. I assumed he was keeping me here. I suppose I had assumed wrong.
"What do you mean?" I say meeting his gaze again.
"I mean do you want to leave? Do you want me to give you some clothes and let you go?"
I think; I think hard. Do I? Yes I have a life but I want to understand more. Am I selfish if I stay? Am I in danger if I leave? Is that the appeal?
"Not yet." I say. He seems shocked but doesn't question, just nods his head in understanding.
Grabbing the soap from a cubby hole behind me, he lathers it in the water and then grabs my arm, beginning to wash me himself.

Anti's pov:
     i was never warned of these feelings. Being what I am, of course I know of other beings like me, but no one could have ever prepared me for this. I was taught hate, murder, devistation. It was never the want for somebody; the need for somebody. I didn't know I even could feel these, but I suppose in a human form, the more human side was to show eventually.
As I wash their arm up to their chest, taking extra care around bruises, I watch their red face relax and lighten. I bring the sud covered bar up and over their shoulders rubbing as I go. They reach out to me, lifting my chin to look at them. They smile and lean in to kiss me. It's so soft their lips could be velvet. I place the soap back on the shelf and pull them under the water with me. Their arms snake around me as they stand on tip toes to fully reach me, but I don't mind kneeling down. We just stand there, lips locked holding one another. I hold my hand to the lights, dimming them all except the one right above us. They pull away and grab the bottle of shampoo, placing some in their hand. They turn me around and begin washing my hair.
Their nails scratch softly as the runoff tickles my back. Rinsing it clean, they brush small hands down my back and reach around to hug me. Turning in their arms I do the same and wash their hair, running my fingers down the length of it and kissing their forehead as I reached the bottom. We look at eachother and quickly wash the rest of eachother as the water gets less hot by the minute. I step out first grabbing 2 towels off the rack so I can help them out. I turn the water off and see them shiver as I open a towel and fling it around their shoulders. They wear it like a jacket as they step onto the cold mat below. Wrapping my own towel around my waist, I leave the bathroom and open another door to a computer room slash closet, turning on the tower and grabbing some clothes for us both.
"I can only guess what size you are so here's some nice sweats, you can tie them however tight you need, and long sleeve." I hand them it all and leave to the room once more to get on the computer and order us both food. They walk in behind me and I turn in my chair, seeing how small and innocent they look. "Whatcha doin?" They say in a quiet voice.
"Food. What would you like?"
"Whatever is fine, but I'm a vegetarian."
"No problem." Spinning back around I begin to browse.
"So what's the rest of this stuff? Like the camera and what not?"
"How do you think I make the money I do? YouTube is a cool place to pretend you're someone else."
"Wait..no fucking way."
"Top of the mornin to ya." I say with a wink.
"You're insane! You have a whole ass persona going on there and you're damm good at it."
"Well I had to figure out something. This room is sound proof by the way so I won't bother you if you're anywhere else up here. Okay food should be here in 15."
"This feels so domestic."
"Would you rather it feel some other way? I can do whatever you'd like." I spin them around and grab my own clothes waking to the bed to change.
"Well the original appeal was being tied up and everything, but now I feel like some kind of pet being taken care of. I don't mind it but it's just odd."
"Want some ears and a tail, pet?" I say with a chuckle slipping on my hoodie.
"Sure." They say simply.
"I mean I was kidding but if you like the whole pet thing I can get them."
"Yeah I'm down for that. Let's keep some kind of fantasy going, the illusion doesn't need to be broken yet."
Heading back to the computer, I head to Amazon and order a realistic set of wolf ears and a tail.
"Looks like someone's gonna be a little pup by 8pm tomorrow."
"Sounds fun." They smile and sit in the bed.
The downstairs buzzer rings and I leave to get the food.
Thanking the delivery boy, I head back up to find y/n looking through the closet of torture devices in awe, running their hands through chains and whips.
"Find something interesting?" I chuckle closing the front door. They jump and turn to me smiling.
"Nah, just a case of fun things." They giggle and head toward me grabbing for their food.
We eat on the kitchen floor and relax, listening to music they picked on their cellphone.
"I'm tired," they say stretching.
"Let's put you to bed then."
They reach up to me as I stand with a sleepy smile on their face. I lift them up like a small child and carry them to the bedroom.
"Stand here I'm gonna get a new cover."
Retreating to the computer room I grab a big fluffy comforter and go back to replace the sheet on top with it.
Picking them up once again and placing them in the middle of the bed, I fix their pillow and cover them up.
They close their eyes and I kiss their head, running my hand through their hair one last time before leaving them be and shutting off the lights.