AntiXReader| what're you doing to me?

Part 12: Empty

Antis POV:
It's been one month since I last saw them, and I'm in absolute shambles.
I still haven't killed anyone. After what happened I couldn't bring myself to hurt anything; I haven't even killed a fly. It seems I can only eat, make videos, and sleep, but I miss them every second. I wonder what they're up to and I fear for them. This was never a place for them, and yet, I wish they would come home.

Y/n POV:
As much as I regret leaving, I know it was the right thing. He couldn't kill me because I had nothing to live for, but after seeing how it all changed him, I finally felt like I did. I gave him feelings. I gave him a chance at humanity. All that gave me a purpose and a real reason to be here. If he knew that, or could feel it, he might have been able to kill me, then it would all be for nothing. I hope I can see him again but as I sit here alone in my old dirty apartment, I can't help but fear a month isn't enough. I don't know if I should take that chance. At the same time, I need him.
After a few more days of contemplation I've decided to go back. As I walk to the warehouse I think about how I've changed since then. I'm a bit sadder but more bubbly, I've dyed my hair pink, kept it growing, I feel brand new. I wonder if—
My thoughts are cut off as I reach the doors to the warehouse. Staring up at them my brows furrow in anticipation, and I reach for the handles. Sliding the large and tall metal door to the side I step in and look for the stairs. At least I remember the room number, so I head straight up.
Standing, staring, sweating, I read the small "616" stamped on the plague. I reach for the handle and turn it slow, letting out hot breaths at a pace unknown. Panicked but patient the door creaks and cracks open. I take the liberty and push it the rest of the way, peering into the dark and listening closely. I walk in, looking for the light switch and I flick it on. At the same moment, I see him.
Anti walks out from the small computer room and we make eye contact.

Antis POV:
My world fell into place the moment I saw them. My eyes welled and I fell to my knees, hands to my side. I felt so complete but so broken not knowing if they could forgive me.
"Hey, Anti." They speak softly walking towards me. Crouching to meet me at eye level, they bring up a hand to wipe my tears. Coming even closer they sit in my lap, legs either side of mine, and they hug me tight. A hand in my hair and one rubbing my back. I can't help but hug back and breathe them in, holding them there where I feel they're meant to be.
"Are you really back?" I ask with a shudder
As terrified as I am that they won't stay, I need to know.
"I'm back, Anti. I needed to know how things were around here. Seeing you like this I guess it worked."
I'm confused for a minute. "Worked?" I ask pulling back to look them in the eyes. They sigh and begin to explain.

Y/n POV:
      I felt like a jerk for my reasoning but still I start my explanation.
"When I first left, I felt like it was for your own good. Everything you put me through and what I learned about you; it all gave me some kind of purpose. I wanted to keep going. I was afraid that because of that feeling, you would decide to kill me after all and it would have been for nothing."
This feels like it sounds worse than no reason but he needed to know. I feel ashamed and I stare down at my hands, moving to sit in front of him rather than in his lap.
I wait for the scolding. I wait for the anger and the "that's not good enough" that is sure to follow. But it never comes.

Anti's POV:
     It makes sense, it really does. I hate that it does. I want to be upset that they left but I just can't be. I think for a moment about what to say but only one thing comes to mind.
"Thank you." I utter, attempting eye contact once more but they're so very shy about it now.
"Because of you, I couldn't kill. Not a single time and now I feel more human than ever. It seems like some powers will stick around but for the most part, all my bloodlust and abilities have reverted."
They look shocked but happy and I'm hoping its all is enough for them to stick around.
I catch a smile on their face and they place a hand on my shoulder.
"I'll be here. Don't worry about it. I'm not going anywhere now."
I begin to tear up again, sinking into their feeling of forgiveness. I never knew I could feel so content.