bittersweet green apples, rejection, and the mediocre life of a human

Chapter 2

My skull felt like it was throbbing, like that tiny human's feelings were already inside my head, but I knew a bond takes longer than that to form. I had all these thoughts and emotions whirling inside me like the teacup ride at Disney World and my werewolf senses were helping nothing, rather, helped in the negatives. Having the pull still tugging me in his direction, dragging me the opposite direction from my legs like I was on a treadmill going nowhere was doing me absolutely no favors. He'd smelled so fucking good, and the way that he'd moved, his head bobbing to the rhythm of his legs. Fuck, no. I shook my head and made myself angry - why the fuck did he have to be my fucking mate? What would the pack think if I, of all fucking people, came home with some short, plain, MALE human? How could I be their next Alpha, let alone face the guys on my football team? I needed to shift, go for a run, and just not think, but I also needed to make it in the door and set my shit down first. But everyone would know from the way I took off this morning my call had come and- suddenly, his face was there, streaked with tears, alone, and it hurt so fucking much. I stumbled, staggering toward the door handle so I wouldn't faceplant like some fucking idiot.

I couldn't even open the door before my sister Tess did, nearly bouncing, and practically screaming, "Where are they? Stop hiding them, Kyle! What's their name?", so fast the words were nearly slurred together. Our whole pack was standing around conspicuously near the door, ready to see who I'd brought home. Our pack was large compared to the single-family packs, so I had nearly fifty wolves curious. A pack was just like a human nuclear family, all of us were as close as we were all siblings. All of us were permanently mentally linked as a pack, and our bond was just like any nuclear family in the human world. I did my best to stop everything from churning and turning, and opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Tess, sensing something was wrong, stopped bouncing immediately and her face instantly morphed into suspicion. "Kyle... What happened?"

"False alarm?" I tried, but Tess's eyes went wide and she lunged at my hand and inhaled and I knew my gig was up before it began like a band without a guitarist. Fuck, I'd been feeling so awful I'd forgotten to try to cover up his scent with hand sanitizer or soap or something, but it was too late. Tess's eyes somehow went even wider and she blurted, "A human male? Where is he, Kyle? I swear we're not gonna jump him like you think we are we just want to-"

But I cut her off and interrupted, "Yeah, thanks but no thanks. I'll find a female who actually looks like someone I'd want to be with, fuck mates. This whole system is bullshit, Brett just found his curvy elven goddess, why couldn't that be me? I mean-," but now it was my turn to be cut off. With a slap. Dalton was seething in front of me, clearly much more angry than the slap felt, but I was furious. He was wildly out of line for a beta!

My eyes went red and I growled, but he growled back, dangerous and fiery, and hissed, "You want to insult the human mate I had die in my arms, you conceited piece of shit? I don't understand why you think you're above your mate, but if you're so concerned with someone worthy maybe you should go looking in a dumpster."

I stood there, too shocked at the challenge to move until my Dad roared, "Rejection is a myth, you fucking idiot! Every wolf that tries to reject their bond ends up failing or dead. Your mother and I don't think our bond is so fake; neither does anyone else in this pack. I will not cede my role as alpha to you, you have no place leading my pack when you act like a pup. You can go party with your football buddies till the rejected bond consumes you, or bring him home and cherish him like a real alpha. Your choice."

I could smell the disappointment and anger from nearly everyone in the pack as they turned their backs on me. The pups even looked upset, though maybe that was just from the growling, and Tyler came and pulled on my leg. I smiled, but he broke into tears. "Kywle, you don't wuv your mate? W-what if I don't wuv mine, I want a bond just wike mommy and daddy" I picked him up, but he wriggled until I realized I had to set him down or drop him, so I gave up.

After everyone else had stormed off, my mom approached slowly, choked up. "I thought I raised you better than that. I never liked your football, the way those kids talked, but I never thought-," she pauses for a deep breath as her emotions get the better of her for a second, "I never thought I wouldn't recognize my own son." she turns away from me, leaving me alone and hurting even worse.

My pack had just turned their back on me. We're a family. We aren't a human family either, we can't live without the closeness of pack - we brush our fingers together when we pass in the halls, we get closer than humans ever do, we leave our scents on each other for comfort, and we constantly remind each other of our presence. Werewolves can't function without the scent, the touch, the instinctual warmth of pack being together, and I may be an alpha but I'm not god; the pack's rejection was already getting to my head. I already felt awful, and now it was like the world had been pulled out from under me, my head was spinning, my nose was overwhelmed, and I vomited, acidic and almost as disgusting as I felt. I staggered toward the steps but my knees betrayed me like some shitty shakespeare character and I shifted and curled into a ball and fell asleep. And for once, no one came to comfort me. I was alone.