Bullied (UNDERGOING EDITING)

Chapter Twenty-Two

                   It had been almost a week since my last encounter with Justin. If one ever said avoiding him was quite all a cherry on top, very, very wrong. He was literally so impossible to not bump into, the guy was, wait, i'll say is a vampire with super-speed or something. Obviously, he tried cornering me but I practically managed to slip away, props to me, yay! Diamond hasn't said much to me since then and if you knew me well you'd know that I'm so so curious as to what she meant. It's my short-term goal and I will accomplish it. On the rainbow coloured side of my life, Mr.Fitz has been surprisingly helpful and supportive. He is just such an amazing person and I'm really happy to have developed such a strong bond with him.

        Groaning I turned and looked at myself again in the mirror. There I was. I was currently shopping for a dress to attend the winter formal with my mom, not that I have a date or anything. I looked so horrible, fat, ugly, disgusting, worthless. My self-hate was this strong all I wanted to do was just rip out my skin bit by bit until there was nothing left anymore of me. I was never going to be pretty like the other girls. Ofcourse I know it. I was never going to be able to wear, beautiful, tiny, silk dresses like all the others or put makeup and feel confident once in my life.

Justin proved me right. He showed me that no guy could possibly like me, this fat, nerdy freak.

      Turning around in my mirror, I ran my fingers down the soft fabric of the red-silky dress that flowed gracefully to the floor. Guess what! It wouldn't even zip up. It was so gorgeous. If only, if only I were skinny like the other girls. I felt a hot tear roll down my cheeks, I swiftly swiped it away and slowly removed the straps of the dress over my shoulders.

       My eyes were dull, my smile was fake. I wasn't the girl I made it out to be. I was broken inside, ever since that one night nobody knew about. That one night only me, myself and I knew about. 

"Lacey, sweetheart. Do you like this one?" My mom called from the other side of the dressing room. I huffed and removed the dress, admiring it's shine and beauty. Just then Diamond's words all rang in my ears at once, 'fat', 'useless', 'worthless', 'nobody will ever love you', 'you're the cause of all your mom's problems', 'everything would be so much better if you weren't alive' 'you should kill yourself'.

"Lacey? Baby are you okay?" I snapped out of my thoughts as I stared blankly at the brown door.

I gulped and shouted back my voice croaky, "Yeah mom. I'm okay".

         I placed the dress back unto the hanger and exited the dressing room. My mom shot up from the chair she was sitting on. "Soooo?" She smirked, her green eyes gleaming with excitement.

I didn't want to plague my mom with my depression or self-hate so I smiled, the thing that fools every single human being in believing someone is "fine" or "okay". 

I sighed, "It does't fit mom but I am sure we will find something else. Don't worry!" 

        Her face fell a little but lit up as fast as it lit down, "Mhm. I really loved this one but ofcourse, we will find something else! Something even way prettier! Come on!"

"Yep. I loved it too mom", I smiled pitifully.

        "Anyways, I'll be right back. I saw another pretty one in the last section, probably that one will fit. Be back", I informed as I started for the back of the store.

"Okay I'll be over here looking for something too love".

I dreaded this so so much. I hated shopping I was only doing this because my mom literally begged me a million times and after everything I didn't want to disappoint her and I really do owe her that much and more.