"When he died, all things soft and beautiful and bright died with him. Losing him was like having hole shot right through me, a painful constant reminder, an emptiness I can never fill. "
I picked up a box and started packing his memorial. I placed in a pair of his custom made shoes, his favorite basketball jersey, his key to the buzzfeed unsolved office, his ghost hunting holy water and right on top my favorite picture of him and I.
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I placed the lid on the box and filled out the top.
Ryan Bergara Ghost hunter. Amateur detective. Friend Boyfriend
I got in my car and started driving. After about thirty minutes I arrived at the flower field.
I set the box in the middle of the field and started digging.
Ryan had always loved this place. I remember that day. We driving on the highway, Ryan spotted the field and forced me to pull over.
He made me promise to take him back. But I never did.
When I was finally finished the sun was setting and my body ached. I placed the box in the hole and covered it with the rocky foundation.
I climbed back in my car and headed back. ___________
I arrived at Ryan's house and walked in his door. A wave of emotions hit me as I walked through.
The smell of his cologne and the pictures of him and I on the wall ripped tears from my eyes.
I got to his bedroom and stared at the door.
I know if I enter, I'm going to burst
I took a deep breath and turned the knob, switching on the light as I went in. His favorite hoodie layed sprawled out on his bed. I stretched it out and hugged it close to my body.
I turned and clutched my hand to my face to catch a tear that escaped from my eye.
Goodbye Ryan.
____________
"Its all right Freddie says, rubbing my shoulder.
"He's ghost hunting with angels now."
I chuckled.
"Why are you packing up the office?" Zach says, walking in the door.
I'm giving up buzzfeed. I'm leaving.
"Leaving? Where are you going?" He asks, helping me pack up stuff.
I don't know. Everywhere. Ryan always wanted to go to Barcelona so I'll start there.
I grabbed the last box of items and switched off the light.
I said one last goodbye to the room and left.
___________ I arrived at the airport with Zach and Freddie. I hopped out of the car and pulled my suitcases from his car.
"Well here we are." Zach says, handing me a suitcase.
Here we are.
I'm going to miss you guys. I leaned in and hugged Freddie.
"We're going to miss you to big guy." She whispers in my ears.
When freddie and I were done exchanging our goodbyes, Zach walked up to me.
"Goodbye man." He says fistbumping me.
Goodbye.
I turned and walked away, carrying a suitcase in each hand. I spun back around to see Zach standing there facing me.
He looked as if he was about to cry. I ran back and clutched him to me. Stay strong man.
I turned around and walked away quickly to prevent myself from crying.
