Lime and Soda ✓

three - morning

'Violet!' Ross yells and for the umpteenth time since I arrived yesterday, I am crushed in a bear-hug. He's had a few before he came, I can smell alcohol on his breath.

I am greeted last, of course. I hang back, shy, not sure if I want to be seen. I still feel woozy, like I'm on another planet, not really here. Head up in the clouds.

But Ross sees me when Astrid leaps on him, wraps her legs around his waist and kisses him deeply, in full view of us all. This is what makes me shy. I don't know what to do, where to look. I'm a stranger to intimacy. He sees me over her shoulder, and hurriedly puts her down and comes to say hello.

Ross is tall, six two, maybe six three. His hair is curly and dark, like Astrid's, but where hers are loose and fall in effortless waves down her back, his curls are tighter, closer to his head. He wears a crumpled tshirt, oversized, the sleeves rolled up to reveal his tattooed biceps. Ross is cool. That's the only word for it.

His friend follows and is shyly introduced to everyone. A deer, I think immediately, as he is introduced to the girls and recoils slightly at their sheer intensity. Like me. Blue, if he were a colour. His style is similar to Ross', band tee, jeans, scuffed trainers - maybe he skates? but without the tattoos. He's younger than Ross, slightly. Softer. Lighter. His blond hair falls into his face and he brushes it away.

'This is Jay,' says Ross as they finally get to me. I smile, can tell he's reeling from all the new names and people.

'Violet,' I say, holding my hand out. He takes it in his own. It's large, rough, warm. Then he drops mine, but not before a small smile.

'Nice to meet you,' he says. His blue eyes pierce me for a second. Then he turns away as Ross leads him to the fire to get a drink.

I scan the beach quickly for Eleanor. She's down by the sea with Sophia. They're laughing and splashing each other and she can't see me, so I get another drink. Someone's left a bottle of brown-coloured liquor, rum maybe, I can't see in the dark. It's lying on one of the blankets near the fire. I pour a shot into my cup and top it up with Coke, take a sip. It's strong and fiery and burns on the way down. I put too much in my cup. I take another gulp.

Someone starts a game of frisbee down by the water. I run around a bit, but am too tipsy to make a single catch. Then everyone is singing, I don't know the song. Someone's brought a guitar, it's Jay, he's good, and we're all sitting around the fire, singing and laughing and drinking and talking. I sway along to the music, join in where I can, rest my head on Astrid's shoulder when I get too sleepy. Then everyone is exclaiming about the time, and Astrid hauls me upright and drapes my arm over hers, and we begin the climb back up the steps to the lane. I stumble more than a few times, I'm so tired, but she holds me up, and finally I feel myself being deposited into my bed. 'Night, Violet,' Astrid whispers, and that's all I remember before I sink into a deep and dreamless slumber.

-

Bea raises her eyebrows as I stagger downstairs the next morning. Wordlessly, she passes me a mug of tea and we sit together for a minute. The kitchen is so quiet, I can feel the silence pressing on my ears, constricting me. Finally she breaks it, and I feel all the bones in my body shatter as her voice rings out, loud and clear as a bell.

'So, you had a good night, then?'

'Not so loud,' I beg, cringing away from her. She laughs.

'Jesus, Violet, how much did you drink?'

'Not that much. Quite a bit. I'm not sure. I'm a bit of a lightweight.'

'Yes, well, we all knew that,' Bea jokes. 'Fancy going out for a fry up?'