Choices With Consequences

Chapter 6

Once again, the traumatic tale of Loki's (and his peoples') life was retold. It never got easier, explaining or hearing what had happened. Loki had started tuning out whenever he wasn't speaking; he couldn't bear to listen for longer than was needed.

If he was getting strange looks from the others he was none the wiser. Blank eyes, blank mind. He's cried enough these past few days, why embarrass himself further?

Loki felt a light tap on his shoulder, but it felt distant, like it wasn't real. He ignored it. The tapping didn't occur again until what felt like eons later, though realistically, it was most likely only a few seconds.

He wanted to snap the finger tapping him, it felt too persistent, too invasive. It was too much. Loki snapped out of his thoughts and whirled around to the tapper and glared him down.

Barnes was unphased. The rest of the group was still in conference, so they weren't immediately aware of the two men's interaction.

"Do you need some air? I could make up an excuse for you if you don't want them to know what's up." His voice was soft and low, barely above a whisper and honey sweet. His eyes carried a kindness Loki swore he would never see from someone other than his mother and brother.

Barnes was worried, and though the act of somebody treating him respectfully had considerably warmed Loki's chest, he refused to allow that warmth to show.

"I am fine." He snapped, "Please so mind your business next time."

He had intended for that to be the end of it, but Barnes had taken to the conference.

"Uh, not to break up the conversation, but I'm gonna take Loki outside. The guy's gotta piss and I ain't too keen on the idea of lettin' him roam free like that."

Crude.

The Captain and Thor exchanged a suspicious glance towards each other, but relented nonetheless. Loki and Barnes were dismissed, regardless of the fact Loki didn't ask to be.

As they reached a spot behind the ship, Barnes turned to Loki with an apologetic smile.

"You don't gotta lie, ya know. Death is heavy, if you need a breather you can always—"

"Once again, I would kindly ask that you mind your business. I was fine, I have always been fine during these discussions, and I always will be fine." He was snapping— he really shouldn't be.

Barnes was right, he did need to get fresh air, but he hated when people could see through him. How could he see through him so easily?

"Buddy, I have post-traumatic stress. I know what that spacey look in your eyes is." He carefully reached a hand out to rest on Loki's forearm. Loki tensed, but allowed the contact.

"I've seen it in others, I've seen it in myself. You can't weasel your way outta this one." He gave a gentle, reassuring squeeze to Loki's arm before cutting the contact.

How starved for touch was he that the moment the other man's warm hand left he was craving more? The sudden lack of pressure was leaving Loki feeling hollow.

"We can stay out here for as long as you need, and I ain't about to hear no more 'I'm fine' nonsense." Such a persistent man.

Loki wouldn't smile. No he would not.

"Hey, I see those dimples comin' in!" The soldier beamed with joy just from seeing the twitching of a smile being held back by the prince.

"C'mon, Lokes, let me see that smile!"

This man made it so hard for Loki to stay upset. What was it about him that was so determined to make everyone around him happy? Overcompensation? A con? What was his deal?