I Can't Be The Alpha's Mate

Chapter 13- Can It Be Fixed?

I stormed out of the den and toward my room, fuming. I grabbed a bag and threw it onto the bed. I had every intention of leaving, possibly even that very night. There was just too much baggage there.

Rafe and Aphrodite. I still saw red every time I thought about it. Right after what he had said to me outside. He told me he felt nothing for her, he told me she was just a means to an end, a way to gain stability, and that he didn't need her anymore then. If that were true, then why had he done that? Why had he let her do that? Especially after he found his mate.

I felt betrayed in the worst possible way. I started to think that no one knowing I existed was better than this, if no one knew you existed, then they couldn't possibly hurt you as badly as I was then.

That place was bad for me, Rafe was bad for me. It hadn't even been an entire week, and already my darkest side had come out. I refused to get angry, not many people had seen me truly angry, because when it happens, my wolf takes over. I'm worse than most. At my peak, I'm probably even worse than Rafe, not that I would know. I only reached my peak rage when I was younger and I have a blackout from when that happened. All I know was that my parents were terrified of me and what could happen to me for months after.

I couldn't be around someone who lived off rage and killing, and I couldn't live with a cheater.

I had only one outfit that belonged to me. I pulled the tattered clothes out of the bottom drawer and laid them on the bed. I didn't want to take any of the clothes I had gotten from Rafe, I couldn't do it. I had to go with what I came with, and that was just the clothes I had, had on my back when I arrived.

I grabbed a few other things that didn't really have much attachment to this place and shoved them in the bag. It didn't take long until I was completely packed up. I knew I should do it, I knew I should leave, but I didn't know if I could. There was so much I'd be leaving behind if I did.

But think of all the pain you'd save yourself.

But what about all the pain I'd be causing. I had found my mate. He was a complete and total dick, but I had found him. Ty had asked me to give him a chance, some time to try and fix him, but that only worked if Rafe wanted to be fixed.

I tensed as I felt a pair of eyes watching me as I zipped up the bag.

"What are you doing?" His deep voice asked.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" I responded, my voice weaker than I intended.

"It looks like you're packing, but you won't do anything more than that."

"Oh really? Because I'm pretty sure I will," I snapped. There was no way in hell he could tell me what I would and wouldn't do, not after what he just did.

He just shook his head, walking toward me. "No, you won't." His voice sounded sure—absolutely positive—but his eyes looked worried. He was scared I was actually going to leave.

"Give me one reason I shouldn't," I said tipping my chin up to look him in the eyes.

"It was an accident, I didn't mean it. I swear," Rafe whispered.

I wanted to believe him, gods like a fool did I ever want to believe, but I held strong.

"That's not a reason."

 He stepped closer, his eyes locked on mine. His hand reached out toward me and I closed my eyes as he touched my cheek lightly, the small touch igniting my skin.

"This is why, Katarina. You know you crave me, my touch. You can't leave."

I resisted the urge to turn my face into his palm. He was right though, I did crave his touch. I knew that leaving wouldn't just just hurt Rafe, I would feel the affects as well. He was my mate, and we were supposed to be together. But he had taken that for granted already, he had allowed another woman into his room, into his bed. I didn't care what Rafe had done in the past before I came, but for him to do that after he found me, after we found each other.

"But the pain I feel right now is so much stronger than that, and a simple touch can't mend it," I whispered, staring deep into his eyes.

I saw a slight flinch. I knew my words had an effect on him. He grabbed my hand, holding it tightly. I wanted to pull it away but I couldn't.

"I truly am sorry."

"But sorry doesn't fix it, Rafe. It doesn't change what you've done, what you let happen. Your words don't make it hurt any less."

"What can I do to fix it?"

"I don't know that you can fix it," I said shaking my head.

"There has to be some way."

"Just let me heal."

"Please stay."

I looked back at my bag, my heart breaking with the torment in his voice, it matched the turmoil going on inside me. I didn't want him to be hurting, I didn't want me to be hurting. The fact of the matter was that we both were. He messed up and he knew it. I knew he knew it.

Rafe wanted desparately to fix what had happened, but how do you fix cheating? It's not a rip you can just sew back up, or a chip from a vase you can glue back on. It was something between two people, a relationship that had been smashed by one simple action.

It didn't matter who had instigated the exchange between Rafe and Aphrodite, what mattered was that he hadn't stopped it.

Could I stay there? I knew I shouldn't. I should just walk away, I should keep going and never look back, but he was also right. I needed him and he needed me. We definitely weren't perfect, we had our problems, but everyone has their problems, everyone has their own baggage. Would I be able to forgive him for what he had done? Not any time soon.

Rafe was going to have to work for my forgiveness, he was going to have to work for me. I didn't care if he was an Alpha or even king of the world. He had betrayed me in the worst way possible and I know he felt it. I wasn't going to give myself to him until he earned me back.

"At least think on it," he pleaded.

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So there's that. Thoughts about what's going on?

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