||𝔹𝕖𝕒𝕦𝕥𝕚𝕗𝕦𝕝𝕝𝕪 𝔻𝕒𝕟𝕘𝕖𝕣𝕠𝕦𝕤||

⚠①⚠

||𝕋𝕦𝕖𝕤𝕕𝕒𝕪, 𝕄𝕒𝕪 𝟟𝕥𝕙, 𝟚𝟘𝟙𝟠||

||𝕁𝕠𝕔𝕖𝕝𝕪𝕟'𝕤 ℙ𝕆𝕍||

"Jocelyn, por favor deja de beber eso. El alcohol no es bueno para ti." My mother asks for about the billionth time. As if, she's the reason I drink in the first place. Like I'm gonna stop for her." No, mama, no me detendre porque esto es lo unico que bloquea tu voz." I tell her. "Si te niegas a para, entonces puedes irte, para seimpre. Has terminado con esta familia." She threatens me, and I don't even care anymore. I walk up the stairs to my bedroom I share with 4 other people, my brothers, and pack all of my stuff into a suitcase. I call the only person I know will help me. "Jo?" He says through the line. "Hey Eddie. Um... something happened... and I... I'm moving out and I was wondering if-" He cuts me off. "Two things. One, yes you can, two, what did you do?" He asks me. "Nothing, she stressed me out, I drank, she got mad at me for drinking her wine and now she's acting like she cares. That's all, nothing more to be said." I tell him. "Fine, let me talk to the boys, see what I can do. Love you." He says. "Love you too Edwin." And I hang up. I continue packing.

||𝟛𝟘 𝕞𝕚𝕟𝕦𝕥𝕖𝕤 𝕝𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕣||

I get a text from Edwin.

ɆĐ₩ł₦: Hey, the boys agreed to let you stay here, they're super excited. Did you find a flight?

Me: Thank you so much. I am almost done packing and I found a flight. Working on booking. See you soon (っ◔◡◔)っ

ɆĐ₩ł₦: Good, see you soon💞

Me: 💞

I book the flight for tonight, landing tomorrow evening. I was lucky enough to find a flight leaving for LA from the Bronx. I grab my suitcases and walk downstairs to get my car keys. Jaceon and Jaziah are in the kitchen. Jaceon looks at me, then my bags, and back at me again. "Where are you going?" He asks. "Nunya, tell the boys I said bye." I tell him. Jaziah has a look of realization pass over him. It's sad that a 7 year old can understand these kinds of conversations. Ever since dad left 4 years ago it's been nothing but hell for that little kid. He thinks it's his fault, it's not. Jaziah starts tearing up, tearing up, not crying. Ever since dad, Jaceon has taught him that we don't cry, for anyone. I don't know if it's made him stronger or more fragile. I think it's somewhere in between the two. "Jaziah, I'm a big girl now, I can take care of myself, okay baby. You don't need to worry about me." I tell him. "But, what if you get lost, or stolen, or hurt. Who will take care of you?" He asks me, eyes wide. Now he starts crying, no sorry, breaking down. I hug him and whisper lies. "You'll be okay, the boys will take care of you. And I'll be fine. I'm going to be staying with Edwin and he'll take very good care of me, okay?" He buries his face in my neck and I look up at Jaceon.  I was a mistake, a surprise, a forgotten condom at the other side of the room. I wasn't supposed to happen, but according to my father, "The sex was too good, I couldn't leave then. How would I know that out would come a disgrace nine months later?" For years I would hear these words haunt my nightmares, my day dreams, my every breath because that was my sole existence.And then a single tear falls down Jaceon's cheek, and I know, more now than ever, that my brothers loved me. If nobody else did, my brothers did, and that is enough. I get up and hug him tight, and then I pull away and kiss them both on the cheek, and walk away. I hear Jaziah's voice calling me back, but I don't turn, I keep my balance and my strength and walk to my car, drive to the bank, withdraw all of my money, drive to the airport, go through bag check and security,and get on my plane. And then I put my headphone in my phone, and scroll through my camera roll, looking at videos and pictures of me, my brothers, my friends that came and left, but one stayed. Whether he was there physically, or in spirit, he was there. And in one day, I will be in his arms again, and for the rest of my life. "I'm coming Edwin, I'm coming." I whisper to myself. And then I drift off to sleep.