E I G H T

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again

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❝If I got rid of my demons, 

I'd lose my angels.❞

―Tennessee Williams

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+eralyn

I winnowed away from Lorcan shortly thereafter. My mind was in overdrive. My siblings were pissed at me, Lorcan was feeling things that set me on edge, and Amren was doing everything she possibly could to piss me off. The sky outside started darkening as the night closed in and I knew I had limited time before I had to leave with them.

My family.

My magic was worn out from all the winnowing, but I gritted through it and tracked Fenrys down to find him and other members of the Cadre, except Rowan and Lorcan, sparring.

My head was always thinking ahead, whether I was aware of it or not, so at the possibility of never seeing them again... I took a moment to admire the sheer glory of the little moments. The things I loved of the family I had built from the ground up.

Our form was always defined, after all, we were Maeve's servants and a mistake was certainly not permitted at any time. Countless years of experience were on our shoulders so it was no surprise who lethal we were on the battlefield. The training grounds were outside, right in the midst of Terrasen's lush green land and after a moment of observing the sharp, quick moves of the twins, the smooth, effortless moves of Vaughan, and the calculated, fluid graceful strikes of Gavriel, I turned my head to the sky and closed my eyes, inhaling the earthy air.

Everything was going to change and I didn't know how to think about that. Gods, in just a few hours I'd be seeing Rhysand. My eyelids tightened. I was certainly not ready to see him again. I knew that would be a whole other shitstorm that I definitely wasn't ready to face. How long were there five-hundred-years actually?

I let go of a breath as I heard metal stop clashing with each other. It was impossible for them not to worry, I knew. I opened my eyes and turned my eyes down, directing my attention to their expressions. Worry underlined all of their eyes and one-by-one all of them passed me until it was just Fenrys and me.

"I wish it didn't have to be this way," he murmured lowly. It seemed like a great distance separated us, but I could hear him loud and clear, and it wasn't because of my Fae hearing.

"Wish that what didn't have to be what?" I rasped.

He sighed, looking quite exhausted despite being lively in sparring only a moment ago. He walked toward me and winded his arm around my body to dispose of his sparring stick. He looked me in the eyes and took my hands, shaking them out of their crossed position. "I wish you didn't have to leave with them."

I furrowed my brows, "Why? They're my family. I knew I'd be seeing them some time, if not now, then―"

He barked a laugh at my 'rambling' and said, "You don't get it, do you?" My curiosity peaked and the tension in my body spiked. This could absolutely not be what I think it is going to be. He pulled me impossibly closer to him, my lithe body covered in silk skin molding into the hard grooves of his front. His mouth was so close to my ear that the tiny cilia hairs rose and my skin pebbled as he said, "I know you feel what's between us, Eralyn. It's your choice whether you chose to acknowledge it or not, and when."

I have no claim to you anyway. I've bedded females when I could have had you, and I loved Elide like she was my mate. I have no right to be this way.

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