A Dark Heart - Rhysand's Sister Fanfic AU

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❝Every great warrior must learn to endure

and overcome the adversities of life.❞

―Lailah Gifty Akita

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+eralyn

"I gasped happily as I beheld the book in my hand. After days and days of roaming the library, I had finally found the little piece of paradise I had been searching so desperately for. An idea flashed in my mind as I rejoiced. Just yesterday I had told father how much I had wanted to find this book, and now that I had, I knew I had to go tell him. Perhaps he would be just as excited!

I followed his scent like I did when I was in Velaris in search of free morsels of food despite having enough wealth to purchase an entire shop. 'Papa, papa!' I shouted as I burst through the doors off his study. 'Look! I got it, I got the―' my excited voice halted as my father landed a glare on me. I took a moment to observe the surroundings that I had just shoved myself into. My brothers, Rhys, Cass, and Az, gave me tight-lipped smiles and I instantly knew I had walked in on an important meeting which I knew my father would not be happy about.

'Out!' I jumped at the command my father shouted at me and scurried out of the room, missing the glare my brothers sent my ruffled father.

I tried not to cry but I was honestly hurt. I was just trying to show him a book, to prove to him that I was taking myself and my education seriously. After the recent low marks I received on my exam, I was determined to improve to show my father that it would never happen again, but it seemed he wasn't interested. I know that he was probably on edge because of his meeting, but somehow inside of me, I knew he could care less about my book findings.

I kept running out of the house and when Velaris and all its splendor came into my line of sight, I winnowed. I wasn't quite sharp on that attribute of my power, but I was burning, hurt and sadness seering my blood into bubbling liquid inside me. I had actually winnowed accurately and landed right in the middle of the bridge that gave a breathtaking view of the Sidra and the Rainbow above. My favorite view of the city. People who were occupying the bridge stared at me as I appeared. After all, I was the High Lord's daughter who was just wandering out in the city.

I paid the people no mind as I continued to look out into the flowing Sidra, its deep and powerful current calling out to my dark power in a comforting way. I always came here to think when I was angry or sad or hurt or frustrated but I also came here to think and study and spend time with my brothers because they loved this spot too. I slightly calmed down as I thought of my brothers, and my heavy breathing slowed.

I closed my eyes, clutching the book to me as I breathed in the scent of the misty air, the Sidra showing off its salty scent into the Velarian air. The scent calmed me and I breathed easier now. My anger dissipated and I opened my eyes. I inwardly sighed as I slowly regained my composure. There was no reason to get overworked by my father's actions. At this point, I shouldn't even let him affect me, but he did. By the Mother he did, and maybe that was why I was weakest out of all."

***

When I first arrived in Doranelle, I often had recurring dreams of Velaris. My mother was a constant in my head during the day, whisperings of her guiding words lead me from place to place in Doranelle and kept me smart around Maeve. At night, however, my mother and her words stopped aiding me and torturous dreams of Velaris and the images of a perfect family plagued my mind and often left me awake and feeling desolate. For me, the worst nightmares were seeing all that I had left behind. They were always happy and joyous in my head, my family. I knew my family had major issues, but my foolish mind believed the pictures it saw and worsened me, sickened me to no end. I was guilt-ridden and utterly numb, but the training... it helped. I learned how to channel my anger into strength so that I may never experience helplessness as I did before ever again.