the boy from the library//andley ddlb

so this might not be long but i'm here for chapter __?

**::** ok so i had to get the plot rolling and get something big too happen because the story is getting a little slow in my opinion so like i don't want spoil the whole thing, but there is suicide in this, eating disorders, depression big time, and self-harm. stay safe my dudes**::**

it's been a couple months and nothings looking up. honestly if i just do it and get it over with people might be sad now, but then at least i won't be around to be a burden anymore. 

**::**

i think i'm gonna do it today, cc is out of town with his family and ashley is going to be at his house most likely. i grab a bottle of my moms pills and go up go my room, grabbing a couple of razors from my closet and sit criss-crossed on my floor right next to my bed.

screwing off the lid to the pills i poured a hand full out and started swallowing them, one after another. the pills were gone and i pulled up my sleeves exposing my gnarled, cut, and scarred arms. 

razor blades weren't gonna do it.

i reached under my bed and grabbed my pristine pocket knife, then making two large slits vertically down my arteries- it was harder for the doctors to stitch it up like that. 

i could hear the faint ringing of my phone on my bed but my vision was already going blurry. i didn't expect it to happen this fast. huh. odd. i heard the phone saying there was a voicemail, i meekly clicked the play button. 

"Andy it's ash, you didn't answer my texts or my call so i'm coming over. i'll be there in a minute, you were just worrying me when you didn't pick up."

goddammit, nothing could go right for me could it?  praying i bled out before he gets here i just slump over in my sitting position, i can faintly feel the stinging of the cuts, but just faintly. right when i'm finally getting comfortable  i hear ashley pulling into the driveway. soon enough i hear him open the front door, i must have forgotten to lock it. 

god why can't i just bleed out already. 

i feel really dizzy.

"andy! oh my god." i hear ashley, damn, he got upstairs really fast.

*ashley pov.*   

" oh my god" i say as i drop to his side. i grab my phone dialing 911. 

"hello. yes. i need an ambulance right now. attempted suicide. i think he's just bleeding out but he might have overdosed.

i lay andy down and pull his head into my lap, softly petting his hair, "the ambulance will be here in a minute just hold on for me. breath, relax. just stay with me," he reaches up and meekly grips my wrist, whimpering quietly, i lay his hand back down on his side, "shhh just lie down. can you hear that? the ambulance is here, you'll be just fine, alright? yeah, you'll be just fine." i say, more for my sake than for his. if anything happens to him i don't know what i'd do.

**::**sorry its so short and it ends kinda abruptly but i'm just happy i got a chapter out.

        -adrian, sitting in bed really wanting to be little**::**