Stories that I will write.

B-Day/info mixed in

"Come on. You have to have an idea of what you want!" Mom- Lisa said enthusiastically. Trying to rile me up and get all excited.

"I don't want anything." I told her. That was a lie. I wanted to be called him, he, his and sir. Male pronouns. Next I wanted boxers not panties. Do you know how degrading it feels to put that shit on every morning? Not that I wear them. Yep Commando for me. It's quite lovely. Very breezy!

Not that there's anything wrong about being a girl, just I'm not one! Well gender wise I'm not. Sex it a whole new topic that all the transphobic freaks use against us.

It would be nice to not go commando when I'm in school. Besides imagine if I got pantsed in school. Anyway I think I'm getting off topic.

"If there's anything you can think of let me know." Lisa told me.

I scratched my neck. Should I really bring this up? I mean what kid in their right mind asks for boxers on their birthday? Well suck it up sally let's do this!

"Actually there is this one, maybe two things I want." I said. She looked at me waiting for the answer.

"Umm can you guys change my pronouns so it's male and can you get me boxers Instead of the current underwear I use." Words poured from my mouth faster than I could process.

She stared at me. Oh shit! I made a mistake didn't I? I should've just kept my damn mouth shut. Asked for money or a game but nooooooooo! I had to go off and ask for the horrific!

"What? No! We are still going to call you by your name. You are still to young to make these decisions." (That means the one on my birth certificate not what I chose.)

I sigh. You know that feeling you get when you want to cry but can't? Like a lump in your throat and your eyes burn but you can't let the tears come just yet? Maybe you want the tears but they just won't come. That's how I was feeling right now.

I know right now I'm young. But I've felt this way since kindergarten and I remember telling my family I was handsome, not pretty. I always put on cologne from Mike. Never perfume. When I was younger I didn't know there was a whole community dedicated to us.

Believe it or not I was not only homophobic but transphobic. You can imagine the confusion I went through in younger years of life. But believe it or not what got me over homophobia was Transformers.

Let me explain. When I figured out what fanfic was I loved it! Loved it so much that people expressed their own creativity until I saw this stuff. Remember there are only 2 female characters, the rest are males!

Optimus x Ratchet
Wheeljack x Ratchet
Megatron x Soundwave
SoundWave X Shockwave

And so on. They are all gay ships. When I first saw it I was disgusted but some (at the time morbid) curiosity told me to read it and I did. Then I realized that it was just a regular relationship! Then I couldn't get enough!

I have no idea where this is going but I just feel like spilling my guts out to a bunch of random strangers. Not like you know my real name.

Anyway back to the B-Day

I remember they said that I was going to go out on it. I didn't want to but they were taking me out to dinner despite what I wished. Mike got a beer which he normally doesn't due to to price, they got what they wanted and he'll if I'm being dragged against my will our might as well get something expensive.

My point is, if you want to go out and have beer. Do it without my b-day as an excuse. Just do it like any other day.

After dinner we'd go to grandpas. He's the kink of old man to give you treats under the table or in my case money. I want to tell him so bad but by definition I can't because I don't have permission. Besides he is 90. Lisa says that it I tell him I might just push him over the edge. I don't know why, but I find morbid humor in that knowledge. Not that I'd ever tell him to do that.

On another random note I remember mike saying he didn't like going to this place because there were gay people everywhere. Always showing affection in public places, like they wanted attention! Well if a woman and a man kissed you wouldn't give 2 shits about it.

Grandpa is the same. Seeing 2 men out shopping in a grocery store is disgusting. There is a collage near our store. When college students come back the store puts up banners saying welcome back and they ride there bikes there to get food. Maybe the 2 men were collage students getting food? They were young. Not teen young but in there 20s.

I guess all the little things add up. I guess it bugs me that they're not as accepting. Mike says he can spot a gay person because they act differently, dress differently and speak differently. Like they're special.

That's called stereotyping. Black doesn't equal fried chicken and the hood. Asia doesn't equal rice and math. English doesn't equal tea and crumpets. Just like Muslim doesn't equal terrorist and isis. Getting a pattern? If you saw me you would not believe I'm trans!

My girlfriend told me that one of our friends told his friends that I'm transgender and go by a certain name. Don't bring up anything that might make me uncomfortable. I met them and eventually left.

Turns out they thought he was lying about me being trans! I looked cisgendered! Goes to show FTM doesn't mean you'll see a "girl" in a sweatshirt and jeans. MTF doesn't mean you see a "drag queen".

Turned into a lecture. But I was passionate about it so I hope it wasn't dog shit.