secrets // j.r.a

Three

{Sawyer}

"I have to go home now," I sigh looking up at Jack as I cuddle into his chest.

"No. I forbid you from leaving. I don't wanna stop cuddling. Please stay," He says a little too fast and a little too desperate for me to stay.

"I told Jonah I'd be home in an hour and it's been an hour and a half. I have to go home," I sigh, standing up. Jack grabs my hand and pulls me to sit on his lap. He wraps his arms around my waist.

"You can't leave!" He whines, cuddling into my back. 

"Jonah is probably already mad at me for being a half hour late," I sigh, unwrapping his arms from my waist and standing up. I'm about to leave when there's a knock on the door. I hear the voices of my brother and all of his band mates. 

"Shit," I mumble, grabbing all my stuff and looking around frantically. 

"Go to my room and climb out my window?" Jack asks. I sigh and nod. I place a quick kiss to his lips before running to his room right as Jonah yells for Jack. I shut Jack's door and he opens the front door. I hear the voices of Jonah, Zach, Corbyn and Daniel get closer and take that as my cue to climb out the window. I sneak around the house and start running towards home.

When I get home, Esther is the first person I see.

"So how was your trip to the "mall"," She questions, putting mall in finger quotations. 

"Shh!" I laugh. 

Jack and I agreed to one exception in our families. I chose Esther since she was like my human diary and Jack told Sydnie. 

Esther laughs back at me as she rolls her eyes. 

"So tell me again why you and Jack don't go public?" She asks as we walk to my room.

"The hate. Jack's scared that they won't like me and I guess I am too. And Jonah on top of that. It would just be really stressful," I tell her. She nods along as I talk.

"But wouldn't it be easier? No sneaking around. No lying. Wouldn't that be easier?" She asks. 

I sigh and let myself imagine what it would be like to be open. To be excepted by the limelights. To be able to hold Jack's hand in public. To be able to kiss Jack in public. To be able to post cute photos and let the world know that he was mine and mine only. 

But at the end of the day, that's all it was. A figure of my imagination. Because the reality is that Jack and I aren't public and probably never will be because of all the hate and negativity that would come with it. And that sucks. But that's just life and how unfair it is.