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Adrena's hair was caked with blood, sweat and dirt and her face was covered with it as well yet she still managed to look beautiful in Jon's eyes. He felt guilty for thinking another girl was beautiful just after losing his lover, but it's not like he saw her in any romantic way. Hell, she had previously tried to kill him. Even despite that fact, he still couldn't hold it against her. As she lay there, her eyes closed and her body still, almost as if she were dead, he felt no resentment towards her. Adrena just wanted to get revenge for her father's death and he understood that. He wished he could avenge his father's death too.
"Do you really have to go?" Sam questioned and Jon glanced up at him, nodding. His gaze fell back on the unconscious girl, his eyes full of worry. Mance's army would be back that night and Adrena, their best fighter, being out like this didn't ease his nerves. So many of their men had died and were injured, and their best fighters weren't up to fight. They would definitely lose.
"It's the only way to stop Mance from attacking again. He has a thousand times more men and we have close to none." Jon replied and stood from his seat. Sam moved to block his path, motioning to the girl.
"And what about her?" Jon looked down at her once more, seeing the bandages wrapped around her body and her weak state.
"What about her? Her wounds have to heal, and then when she's ready, she will wake up." Jon gave her one last glance before he moved around Sam and made his way to the tunnels. "And if I die, well, she'll have one hell of a celebration when she wakes."
-
The voices around her were all so clustered and loud that it overwhelmed the girl as she slowly came to. It felt as though she was in a tunnel and that the voices were far away; and she had the urge to scream and move but her body wasn't conscious enough. It terrified her. Am I dead?
"She can't stay here." The voice belonged to Thorne and she wanted so badly to sit up and go off on him. She saved so many lives in the battle and she deserved to be talked about with a little more respect. She didn't want praise or gratitude, she just wanted respected.
"And why not? She's a way better fighter than half the men in this camp." The voice belonged to Jon and her blood ran cold. He was still alive, and it had just hit her that she failed her mission, failed her father. That thought alone made her want to sob.
"Because she's a girl and she lied to us." Alliser retorted and she begged herself to wake up so she could defend herself. She truly hated the thought of others, especially Jon, defending her when she was perfectly capable of doing so on her own.
The door slammed shut and Adrena felt like an elephant was sitting on her chest. The act of not being able to move or talk was becoming too much for her, and she was so close to panicking. But she reminded herself to stay calm, her body just wasn't ready to wake up yet.
There was some shuffling near her and then a calloused hand ran gently over the side of her face. If she could move, Adrena knew she would've flinched away. Nobody ever touched her like that- gently. The only way she had been touched in the last nine years was by abuse or sex. Kristof and her were never intimate in that way. They hooked up every once and a while and that was it. So it was alarming and new for someone to touch her in such a soft, caring way.
"Wake up whenever you feel ready, Adrena." Jon's voice was deep and soft, not in a way she had heard him talk before. She wished he hated her, then it would be easier to finish him off. But when he spoke like that to her and acted like he cared, she found it very hard to picture killing him.
The door opened once again and she heard Sam's feet stomp against the ground as he grew closer.
"She looks much cleaner and prettier without all that blood on her. Gilly did her a favor." Sam's voice was quiet and soft like always and Jon hummed in response. Adrena could feel her body slowly coming to, starting with her feet then her legs and lastly her arms.
"Are you saying... I wasn't pretty before?" Adrena choked out, opening her eyes to see both men snap their heads to look at her. She tried to sit up but Jon shook his head rapidly, trying to lay her back down. The brunette flinched away from his touch and sat all the way up. The pain in her torso was searing and she wanted to kill the man who had attempted to murder her. Her shoulder wasn't as bad and neither was her leg, but they still hurt when she moved.
"Glad to see you awake." Sam said with a smile and she grimaced, letting out a deep breath when she finally leaned against the wall and relieved the pressure on her shoulder.
"Where is that fucking prick who tried to kill me?" She ground out and squeezed her nails into her palm, the pain being even worse now that she was sat up.
"Someone killed him." Jon muttered and Adrena looked up at him, growing frustrated as he avoided her eyes. She let out a deep sigh, hoping to the Gods that she could relieve any of this pain- the physical and emotional. "Can I speak to you alone?"
Adrena glanced up at him once more and nodded. If she wasn't so weak, she'd be planning on how to kill him again; but she wasn't fit to move at all so perhaps talking would help. Sam looked at Jon, confirming that he'd be alright and Jon nodded, dismissing him. Sam left the room, slamming the door shut after him.
Adrena chuckled dryly, shifting in her seat to be more comfortable. Jon casted his gaze onto her, immediately moving to grab a pillow from the bedside and holding it out to her questioningly.
"May I?" She was taken aback by his manners but nodded nonetheless. He placed a gentle hand on her back, moving her upwards so he could place the pillow behind her. She cleared her throat, leaning back into the pillow with a sigh of relief.
"Ya know, really disappointed that we went through all that and not even one of us died." Jon seemed confused by her statement and she cracked a smile before it dropped once more. "Rather I be dead than sit here in pain, not being able to do anything for myself."
Jon was silent, sitting deep in thought with his eyes occasionally falling on her. She watched him silently, thinking about how he had tried to stop her from getting hurt last night.
"Why don't you let anyone help you?" She wrinkled her nose at the question, directing her gaze somewhere else. Her hands picked at the fur blanket that was draped over her legs.
"Don't ask questions that you aren't prepared to hear the answer to." She snapped suddenly, her eyes blazing with anger and pain. Jon nodded solemnly, taking a seat across from her. The two of them sat in silence, not looking at each other for a few minutes.
"I want you to know that I don't blame you for wanting to kill me. I know why you tried, and why you probably still want to." Adrena froze and her heart felt like it had come to a complete stop. She dared to look at him, only to see him staring right back at her with a look of pity. She hated him for that, for not hating her and for pitying her.
"You should blame me; you should hate me; and you should fear me, Lord Snow." He shook his head in denial, his curls shifting every time he moved. She glared at him, hating him for everything he did. He was too kind of a person and she hated it.
"There's something you need to know... about your father."
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author's note: had so much writer's block with this chapter, it's so bad i'm sorry
