Chapter 20

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When Star hung up the phone after talking to her manager, she went back upstairs to check on her daughter. She stopped when she heard Millie and Twinkle talking in the bedroom. "I know. I have nightmares, too. I can't take the images of the dead bodies lying on the ground out of my head. We basically had to step over them—" Twinkle immediately cut Millie off while she shook her head aggressively as if she was trying to shake off the thought. "Bubbles, please," Twinkle shook her head while she grimaced. "I'm sorry, Shine. I don't mean to remind you of what we saw. Hmp, ang hirap kasi eh. I felt the need to talk to you because you saw what I saw, too," Millie said sadly. "I'm sorry, Bubbles. Tinatry ko muna 'wag isipin. Masyado pang fresh eh. Tinatry ko kalimutan para hindi ko na masyado maisip, para din hindi ko na mapaginipan," Twinkle said with a sad look in her eyes. Then she added, "Bubbles, 'wag na muna natin sabihin kay ate yung mga nakita natin. Ayoko na mag-alala pa sya." Millie looked at Twinkle. "Shine, I think kahit pa we don't tell her anything, they're already worried about us. It's better for them to know what we saw kesa we hide it. It's not fair if they don't know anything, and it'll be harder for us. Why suffer in silence when we can let it out?" Millie asked. Twinkle shook her head, "Ilalabas naman natin eh. Pero hindi kay ate. Hindi ko naman sinasabi sayo na 'wag ka mag-confide sa parents mo Bubbles eh. That's your choice. Kay ate lang sana tayo 'wag mag-sasabi. Ang dami na nung iniisip eh. Kinunan naman na nya ako ng appoinment para maka-usap yung therapist. Okay na yun. Sa therapist ko na lang ilalabas lahat." Millie nodded, "Okay, Shine. Just make sure you will get to talk about it, okay? Ako din may appointment na sa same therapist. Same day yata tayo, so that's good." Twinkle nodded, "Okay Bubbles, basta siguradohin mo ding malabas mo sa therapist yung kelangan mo ilabas." Millie nodded. Then she went out of the room. Star pretended that she wasn't standing there eavesdropping. She smilled at Millie. Millie smiled back at her, "Gising na sya ate. I just came to say hi." Star smiled again, "No problem, Millie." Millie nodded as she excused herself.

Star went inside the bedroom. Twinkle was staring at the window. Her back was rested against the headboard. A pillow was on her lap. Star smiled a little. "Okay ka lang, Twinks?" She asked. Twinkle looked over to her. "Okay lang po, ate," she said as she forced a smile. Star sighed. She sat next to her daughter. She took her hand, "Guess what?" Star asked. Twinkle looked at her, "Ano po yun?" She asked. Star smiled a little, "Ayan ka nanaman, pinopo mo nanaman ako," she said as she tucked Twinkle's hair in her ear. Twinkle forced another smile, "Sorry ate, ano yung sinasabi mo?" She asked again. "Naka-indefinite leave ako para masamahan kita dito habang nag-papagaling ka. It's good din kasi kung ano man kelangan pa nila sa application mo for the student visa, maaayos natin pareho kasi andito nako para tulongan ka," Star smiled as she caressed Twinkle's hand. "Okay lang ako dito, ate. Di mo na kelangan mag-indefinite leave. Tsaka magaling naman ako, wala po akong sakit to begin with. Wala din akong tama or injury or anything. Hindi nyo kelangan na iwan yung trabaho nyo kasi okay naman po ako. Wala po kayong dapat ipag-alala." Star's eyebrows met. "Akala ko, Twinks, yun ang gusto mo? Akala ko pa naman matutuwa ka kasi finally I get to be here with you ng mas matagal. Masasamahan kita for as long as you need me. Sabi ng tita V mo halos nag-tatampo ka na kasi hindi ko maiwan iwan yung trabaho ko. Nag-tampo ka raw nung hindi ako nakapunta kasama sya para ayosin yung student visa mo. Pero bakit parang nag-iba na yung gusto mo?" Star asked. Twinkle took a deep breath. "Nun yun, ate. Bago ko na-realize kung gano ka-importante sayo ang trabaho mo. Dun ka masaya at dun ka kuntento, kaya naiintindihan ko bakit hindi mo maiwan iwan ang trabaho mo. May mga responsibilidad ka dun at maraming umaasa sayo. Ako okay lang naman po ako dito. Kaya ko na ang sarili ko," Twinkle explained. Star's eyebrows met again. She took a deep breath, "Twinkle, importante ka din naman sakin. Masaya at kuntento din ako sayo. Alam ko, kasalanan ko na sinanay kita na palagi akong wala. Pero eto na oh, bumabawi nako sayo kasi alam ko na may responsibilidad din ako sayo. I'm sorry sa lahat ng mga times na nangako ako at nabigo kita. I'm sorry sa lahat ng times na napaasa kita at dahil dun nasaktan kita. Pero andito nako ngayon, and I can be here for as long as you need and want me," Star said trying to convince her daughter that she meant everything she said. "Ate, wala kang dapat ipag-sorry. Siguro parte lang toh ng pag-mature ko para hindi lang sarili ko ang iniisip ko palagi. Siguro nag-mamature nako kaya mas naiintindihan na kita ngayon. Wala kang kelangan ipag-sorry, ate. Okay lang po talaga ako dito kasama sila Millie. Yung mga nailabas ko po kay tita V, pasensya na po kayo. Naging selfish at immature lang po ako. Dapat naging mas patient at understanding ako sa situasyon. I'm sorry po dahil hindi ko po meant na ipa-guilty kayo. Pero wala po talaga akong sama ng loob sayo. Naiintindihan ko na po lahat." Twinkle reassured Star. Then she hugged Star, "I love you po, ate. Ok lang po bang mauna na lang ako sa inyo matulog?" Twinkle asked. Star swallowed back tears, "Ayaw mo muna kumain ng hapunan?" Star asked, trying to hide that she was hurting. Twinkle shook her head, "Busog na po, ate. Good night." Star watched as her daughter tried to settle in bed. "Good night," Star answered quietly.

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