Pretty Kitty - Slumptacion

[four] the remote is not a chew toy

Not much had happened after that last fiasco.

The cat hadn't been punished, despite me wanting to stomp the little fucker out. My yuddas...my poor yuddas.

It's been about two weeks since Kentrell came over, and Gazzy was scared to come around the cat because Trell had scared the poor fool with a story about the cat 'being evil'. In my opinion, those two should really stop drinking so much.

In the span of the last fourteen days, I'd bought more supplies for the kitten. It was weird having to spell out his name on certain things, because some of the sites deemed it inappropriate.

I have no one to blame except my dumbass.

X had his own little scratching post (I read somewhere online that they like those), a rubber mouse (also read online), and a bed.

He'd been using all of those, except for his bed.

Every morning I'd wake up with a mouth full of fur and he'd be resting right next to my face. I'd shoo him away, he'd hiss but he'd leave. I would go to work, and he'd be right back in his spot when I would come to my room to shower and feed him.

There was no getting through to him, so for these past few days I haven't bothered him. I'd just try my best to sleep with my face under my pillow, or keep my mouth closed.

Other then the whole sleeping situation, he's actually well behaved. How the fuck he managed to get in Jarad's garage, I'll never know.

"Well Shirley, the FruitJuicer600 does have a warranty of-"

I tuned out of the show again. I should really change the channel.

I reached for the remote but before I could grab it, a small ball of black fur came and snatched the remote off of my coffee table. X hopped off of the table and onto the couch next to me.

"Hey!" I went to snatch it out of his mouth, but he jerked his head away.

"Spit that out." I went for it again, but this time he leaned into my outstretched hand, up my arm, around my neck, and onto my head.

I sighed. "C'mon now. Get off." I reached up and he jumped off of my head, landing gracefully onto the coffee table. His tail swayed from side to side slowly.

"I'm not playing." I looked him straight into his brown eyes. He looked innocent with his head tilted, but I knew better by now.

"Why won't you listen to me?" I huffed.

He let out a tiny meow with the remote still in his mouth. He dropped it, and walked off of the side of the table, landing on the floor. He mewled, and started to rub his face against my ankle.

"Really? That's it? You wanted to be petted?" I reached down and gently stroked his head. His fur was soft, I don't know what type of wash Kentrell used, but that shit was amazing. He still smelled clean.

X purred softly as I kept petting him. The little attention whore.

"I wonder what you do when I'm not home."

------------------------------------------------------

"So, how's the cat?" Jarad asked. He'd called me a few minutes ago. Apparently, him and Mic had gotten back together. Why, I don't know. They were always on and off. What a great marriage.

"He's okay." I answered, watching him from where I was leaning against the counter in the kitchen. He was playing with one of his toys, a small mouse.

"I heard that he's evil. Is he killing tiny animals and dropping them at your feet?"

I rolled my eyes and fixed the phone on my shoulder. "Nah, Kentrell must be lying to everyone. He's not that bad, just a little disobedient. He's only a kitten though."

"Uh huh. Still don't see why you didn't just let me kill the fucker." Jarad said.

"You scared bitch. You hoe'd up as soon as you saw him. Screaming and studdering." I chuckled. X stopped playing with his toys and looked up at me. He tilted his head and meowed.

"I didn't scream. It was more of a manly yelp." Jarad said defensively.

"Yeah, whatever GIRL." I teased him. X meowed again, a little louder. I shushed him and listened to Jarad try to defend himself over the phone.

"Yeah, aight. How's your significant other doing?"

"He's fine. Still pissed off at me, but better and more tolerable than before."

"Oh, that's- ow!" I dropped the phone.

"Shit!" I rubbed at my aching leg, it was bleeding from a scratch. X hissed at me.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" I moved my hand away to examine the scratch.

I was checking the wound, which wasn't bleeding much but still bleeding, when X started to lick over it.

I jumped back. "The fuck? No little dude. Move." I gently pushed him away with my foot. His eyes went to a squint and his tail went stiff. Was he... annoyed? For what? He fucking scratched me, I should be the pissed one!

"Go play with your toy." I shooed him away. He stayed in his spot for a few seconds, then he slowly trotted away.

I let out a breath and looked back at the scratch on my leg. It stopped bleeding.

"How the-"

"NIGGA ARE YOU ALIVE? OH SHIT THE DEMON CAT KILLED HIM!" I heard Jarad panic over the phone.

I quickly picked it up and reassured him. "What?! Man, I'm fine!"

"What happened?"

"The little shit scratched me." I rubbed at my leg and glanced back at X. He was sitting on the top of his scratching post. Just....staring at me.

"Damn. You need me to call animal control? Or do I need to come over and out him in place?" Jarad joked.

"Negro please. You'd shit your tighty whities if he even looked at you."

"Would not!"

"Mhm, okay."

-JADA