A Different Kind of Love

Ch. 1

Max's POV

Science class. 

The bane of my existence. 

K. That was a lie... but science class sucked. Especially biology. 

I just didn't understand it. And my stupid fucking teacher always called on me -- to humiliate me. I was fine getting laughed at for not knowing the answer because I knew everyone else didn't know the answer either. No. What I hated was every single day she made me stand up -- revealing my body and height (or lack thereof) -- and speak -- revealing my stupid fucking high-pitched voice. 

I knew she knew I was uncomfortable too, but she still did that to me every day. And she always called me "Ms. Dayles" -- she didn't even call me Max, or fucking Maxine. No. She had to remind me I was female and probably never gonna get married because what guy would have ever wanted to date me?

"Ms. Dayles!"

Shit. 

I looked up from my desk (where I was staring at the wood for who knew how long) and I made eye contact with my amazing teacher. Mrs. Lee.

"H-huh?"

Damn. My voice sounded higher than usual.

She looked at me sternly, "Stand up and answer the question on the board."

I looked at the board.

Describe the structure of the central nervous system.

"I, um..."

"Ms. Dayles. Stand up and answer the question."

I stood up and cleared my throat. 

Everyone was staring at me. Including kind-eyed Justin. His eyes literally made my heart melt but at the same time, they made it break.

I looked back to Mrs. Lee and just gave her the only answer I knew, "It's like veins coming from the brain and going all over your body..."

When I got nervous my voice got higher and wavered. Both things happened many times in that small sentence.

She sighed, "You can never get it right, can you?"

Everyone laughed.

Except him.

"Try to answer again. We've gone over this."

I put my hand in my pocket and touched the razor blade I kept with me at all times. If I touched it I thought about what was to come later and it took my focus off of whatever bad thing was happening at the moment.

I took a deep breath and thought for a second before I fisted my hand in my pocket and cut my palm. 

I put my head down, "I don't know."

I could practically feel her shake her head in disappointment, "Sit down."

Because that's what I was to everyone-- a disappointment.

I immediately obliged and put my head down on my desk. 

And awaited desperately for the bell to ring.

**

Gym class.

The class I sat in the back and basically stared at a bunch of boys -- either because I was jealous of how they looked or because I thought they were cute. My gym class consisted of about half and half boys and girls. I didn't count myself in either category cause I was barely a part of the class. 

Anyways -- I mainly looked at Justin, to be honest.

They were running laps for a warm-up. Every time he ran past me he looked at me.

Why did he keep noticing me? Him of all people? 

He talked to the teacher earlier and he looked at me, the teacher, not Justin. But I thought he was asking about me. He wasn't gonna get any information. No one knew anything about me besides the fact that I didn't talk to anyone or participate willingly in classes.

I kept closing my hand around the blade and making the cut on my hand hurt more. But it took my mind off all the bad thoughts so I guessed it was fine. I mean, it wasn't... but it wasn't like anyone knew or cared.

"Hey, Max!" I looked up to see the gym teacher waving me over, "Come over here!"

Ugh. I really didn't want to... but I had no choice.

Once I got over to him he smiled, "We have an odd number of people so I need you to join Justin's group for the activity we're doing."

I opened my mouth to say something, but he beat me to it, "You need to participate every now and then to get your gym credit, Max. Now go on, Justin will explain what we're doing."

I sighed and nodded and walked over to where I saw Justin.

It looked like there were five groups of six and Justin's group had five, well six then because of me. The boys in his group were... not the best people. Darren was super competitive, Aaron was super bossy, Jim was the class's "weird kid" (not including me, obviously), and Dean catcalled basically anything with two legs. But then there was Justin, who had to be so goddamn perfect it made me sad.

"Aw shit, no, not the dweeb," Darren groaned as I walked over and awkwardly stood towards the outside of their group.

"Now now, let's not be so hasty, let the lady show us what she's got." 

I mentally cringed as Dean looked at me with almost a hungry expression. I unintentionally messed with my sweater so he could see even less of my body than he could before.

"Guys just shut the hell up. What are you doing over here?" Aaron, I could already tell, had taken the role of leader of the group.

"I... um... coach told m-me..." I stuttered while staring at their shoes. 

I could feel the glares.

"Guys, calm down. Coach told her to, so get off her back. We need six people for the relay, she makes six."

I looked up to see Justin finish talking. He looked from the boys to me and gave me one of his amazing and kind smiles and I felt myself smile back and blush, which was fucking stupid of me. But what the hell ever. I would have rathered obsessed over the fact that they called me a girl than the feeling in my stomach when he looked at me... but I couldn't.

"Okay, so we're doing a relay race in like, what? Ten minutes?-" He looked at Aaron who nodded, not looking very happy, "Basically we'll go on the track and do whatever type of race he tells us to do and one at a time we'll each do it. We already decided on the order, I would be going last unless you want to?"

I cleared my throat, "I-I'll go last."

He smiled, "Okay, you'll get to bring us the win then."

Darren groaned again, "Come on man, she ain't gonna do shit! You know that! We're gonna lose."

"Shut up, Darren. Why are you being such a jackass right now?"

"Because I wanna win!"

"Well just shut the hell up, if we lose we lose. Nothing we can do about it."

"We can kick the twig of a girl off our team!"

"We can't and won't and you know it. Now shut. The. Hell. Up!"

I was looking back and forth between that whole argument, and Darren looked really pissed. But Justin was raging. I could practically see steam coming out of his ears. 

Darren sighed and mumbled a 'whatever' and Justin looked at me, his smile intact like that never happened, "Good luck."

And he held out his hand. 

I was gobsmacked but I took it anyway and mumbled thanks. Trying to hide my bright red face behind my messy hair. I dropped his hand pretty fast but I didn't want to.

"Okay, kids, we're heading outside now!"

Great.