Mark & Me

Nauseous as Hell

This may be T.M.I., but I got my period last night. During the first two to three days, I tend to feel extremely nauseous. I still went to work. I saw Mark today. I didn't look at him or wave or anything. I even avoided looking at the monitor that showed his information on it when he swiped into the building.

I went to the student center to get food not that long ago. Unfortunately, I saw him. He was probably waiting for his sushi. He was on his phone. I was already feeling nauseous but it got worse because I saw him. As soon as I finished paying for my food, I left out of there real quick.

I have this feeling that Alex will come visit him again today. Why does that bother me so much?! I'm acting like him when he was jealous! Then again, maybe they aren't a thing! I don't know the full story. But my gut is telling me that they at least slept together or are about to in the near future. Ew! Now I'm legit about to throw up my dinner! Why can't I get over this guy?! Is it because I see him all the time?! Hopefully after tomorrow, I won't see him ever again! 

I'm currently at work. Of course the first thing I did was check the sign in sheet. Not because it's a part of my job, but because I wanted to make sure that Alex wasn't here. Every time I see a blonde chick swipe in, my heart stops for two seconds. When I see that it's not her, I can breathe again and my heart rate goes back to normal. So far, she hasn't signed in yet. But I gotta keep my guard up! Why am I mad at her?! She didn't do anything wrong. She is completely innocent and yet, I am treating her like she stole Mark from me. Mark was never mine to begin with! So, why am I so angry about all of this?! 

Oh, God! He just left the building. Where is he going?! To see her?! To meet with her?! Maybe he went to get food. JESUS CHRIST! Why do I care?! Breathe, Jasmine! Everything's going to be ok! If he comes through with her, look as unbothered as possible! Remember that he's a jerk that only wants sex! Remember why things ended between the two of you! My heart is beating so fast! I'm feeling so light-headed!

He just got back! And he didn't come with Alex. I can breathe for a bit! I think he met with his group for the project that's due tomorrow. I just need to hang in there for just a bit more. There's still a chance that Alex may show up for a late night booty call. But at least they didn't come in together. Once I survive tomorrow, I'm gonna treat myself with a pizza!

He left again and it's almost 12am! What the hell?! He's back! He just went to get food. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?! I'm going to give myself a fucking heart attack! I need to move on! But how?! Someone please save me from my misery!