I've officially turned into one of those people who spells their child(ren)'s names weirdly *facepalm* Also, before reading, please understand that this story contains themes of mental health (anxiety and depression); I am writing based on my own, personal experience. If you need to talk, do not hesitate to reach out to me or someone you trust. If you are able/feel you would benefit from seeing a therapist, please do so. I always encourage those who are able (financially or mentally/emotionally) to see a therapist to do so; I've said many times before and will continue, going to see a therapist has been one of the best things I ever did for myself, and will continue to be; my therapist has helped me tremendously. While I am writing on my personal experiences, I mean how I deal with/how depression and anxiety felt; the events in this story are entirely fiction. Lastly, remember this: you are NEVER (ever) alone!
l a n d o n *
My best friend, Haiden, has been having some mental health issues, and although he is seeing a counselor, he's afraid and uncomfortable staying by himself, so he's moving in with me for a little while. I put a bed in my office so he can have his own space.
I roll over in bed and look at the clock.
8:16 AM. I force myself out of bed and drag my feet to the bathroom. When I come out of the bathroom, I quietly open Haiden's bedroom door; he's sleeping peacefully, his face partially squished. I walk in the room and gently kiss his forehead, tiptoeing out of the room and closing the door behind me quietly. Haiden has been here for a week now, and we're both slowly adjusting to living life with each other. It's summer and we both start online college in the fall. I make sure to keep an eye on the clock because Haiden has a therapy session today at 10:00. I start making breakfast as soon as I get downstairs. When it's done, I go back upstairs to wake Haiden up.
"Good morning sunshine," I whisper softly in a singsongy voice. "Get up, okay? You have a therapy session at ten this morning."
He rolls over and groans.
"Come on, sleepy. You can take a nap when we get back." I say as he groans again.
I press my lips against his cheek. "Come on," I say, prodding him gently. He sits up and stretches looking at me.
"What's wrong?" I ask him, noticing that he looks like he's about to cry.
"I-I had a d-d-dream that y-y-y-y-you died," he says as a fat tear rolls down his cheek. I wipe it away with my thumb.
"It's okay, I'm right here," I say, grabbing his hands and pulling him off the bed. "Let's go get breakfast downstairs."
I pull him into my arms, squeezing him tightly.
We leave the house at 9:30, heading towards the therapist's office. When we get there, he signs himself in and then comes over to sit down beside me, pulling his phone out of his pocket. He looks at his unread message and then shows it to me. It's from his ex-girlfriend.
Havyn- hey
Havyn- I really miss u
Havyn- we should get back together
"What do I say?" he asks.
"Well...do you want her back?" I ask him, secretly hoping the answer is no.
"No, I'm done with her,"
"Tell her."
He looks at me.
"Do you want me to do it?" I ask him and he nods. I take his phone and type out a message
Haiden- Havyn, I've made it clear that we're done. We're not getting back together again.
He takes his phone back when she replies.
Havyn- is this about Landon
Haiden- you mean???
Havyn- you're always with him
Haiden- yeah, because he's my best friend
Havyn- best friend? He's so overprotective!
Haiden- Well he has a reason, Havyn.
Havyn- which is??????
Haiden- you literally were so toxic to me. You left several times and came crawling and crying back...I took you back too many times
Haiden- you affected my mental health
Havyn- whatever
Havyn- I don't care
Havyn- you're too much trouble, honestly
Havyn- you're so much work!
Havyn- but we're still getting back together
Haiden- uhh, no, actually, we're not
Havyn- uhh, yeah, actually, we are!
Haiden- NO
Havyn- pick me up at 10:30 so we can go shopping!
Havyn- love u baby 💞😉
Havyn- can't wait to kiss u again
Haiden looks at me. I take the phone and read through his messages. His lip trembles as he looks at me.
"Hey, don't worry about it, okay? I've got you, I'm here," I say, squeezing his hand.
"Haiden, she's ready for you." the nurse at the front desk says.
"You want me to go with you?" I ask him as he stands up. He pauses for a second and nods. I get up and follow him up the stairs. We sit down on the couch and his therapist looks up.
"Hello, guys!" She greets us.
Haiden bursts into tears.
"Oh, okay. So, clearly, there are some things we need to talk about," she says and I nod as I pull Haiden into my arms. Haiden leans into my chest sobbing quietly.
"Ssh, it's okay," I say as I look down at him in my chest and rubbing his back.
He's calmed down a little bit by 10:30, but it doesn't last long. His phone chimes and he pulls his phone out of his pocket, checking the notification. He hands the phone to me with shaking hands and starts crying again.
Havyn- it's 10:31 where are you???
Havyn- come get me right now or you're going to regret this
I sigh and hand the phone to his therapist. She gasps and dials down to the front desk.
