The O Men

14

         I opened my eyes to darkness. It was a strange feeling of emptiness, as if I suddenly didn't exist. Is this what it feels like? I'm not sure. Everything was just a blackness that felt spacious, yet suffocating. Nothing in my mind could comprehend where I was, and yet, panic had not set in.

         "Rose?" I spoke out meekly, "Lilah? Anyone?"

         Only my voice echoed back.

         "Well what with the echo, this place must have high ceilings and walls. Quite impressive how dark it is in here. They must have painted it black."

         Out of the corner of my eye I noticed a bit of light coming through, as if a door was being opened. I blinked once and I felt my hands and legs freeze up, as if they were being fastened to the wall. Not understanding what was going on, I continued to give commentary to try and calm my senses. Something was definitely wrong.

         "Looks like there really is a wall." I muttered as I tried to make out the silhouette of the figure standing at the door.

         "You can deny what you're thinking all you want Charlotte, but deep down, you know that you'll never get over what has happened to you. You'll live in eternal fear of things you didn't know scared you." I recognize that voice.

         "Jude?"

         "The one and only." He replied. I couldn't see it but he was doing that creepy smile that he does.

         I started to whimper as he got closer to me, the outline of his facial features beginning to become more defined. When he began to remove his belt, I went into absolute hysterics, writhing about in my invisible restraints, remembering every touch of that belt, every touch of the hand.

         "Charlotte! Wake up!"

My eyes fluttered open to see a very concerned Lilah and a terrified Rose looking down at me. "Charlotte it was just a nightmare!" I heard rose shout.

Instinctively I hugged Rose, burying my face into her neck and I lay there trying desperately to not fall apart again. The last thing I want, is to be perceived as weak. I wish I could be like Rose. So calm and composed in stressful situations, I highly doubt she would falter at torture like what I had endured. I decided to look out the window of the waste transport. We were in Meridian city now, I saw as we passed people that were wearing what I was wearing. We were safe for now. Precariously I couldn't help but think that something somewhere was going to go wrong - but who can really tell right? As we pulled up near a busy street, the transport abruptly stopped and we got off.

"We need to walking little further to get to the place. It would be too obvious if we just drove all the way up." Rose said without looking at any of us.

Lilah and I simply nodded, not looking anywhere in particular.

We started off. Lilah and I wordlessly agreed to keep our distance from Rose and each other to keep suspicions low, we must act like we have some place to be - loitering is not allowed and it's suspicious to appear to have the time to appear as such if you're not dressed in Major, or Minor Party dayclothes. We were wearing commoner dayclothes, which I'd have to admit were pretty low quality compared to my junior Minor party clothes. It took us till well into the evening for us to finally reach the hideout - a remote abandoned mobile in the city's countryside. It reminded me of the old abandoned partially burnt mobile where I met Ashier. I quickly shook the memory away for I have no desire to become emotionally unstable yet again.

Rose entered the mobile with me and Lilah and the whole lot of the crowd went silent. Then somewhere from the back, someone started clapping. Soon the whole room of people started clapping. I received many bows and words of welcome and thanks for my work. They took no time at all acquainting themselves with Lilah and became especially excited to hear of our blood relationship. I decided to take a quick look around, noticing that the inside looked rather refurbished, as if the people came here and renovated it over time. The walls were a solid burgundy, the floors were old and wooden, the furniture was of a style that I couldn't quite recognize - it had pillowy fabrics on the seat part and it appeared to have a shine to it. This whole mobile must be from Pre-War era. The furniture looks a lot more comfortable than it does now I can tell you that. There's an upstairs with carpet flooring, and dirty framed mirrors, beds with old rickety wooden bed frames.

"They stopped mass producing bed frames a while ago, possibly before I was even born, about 18-19 years ago I might say. I wonder if Rose was alive to have seen a bed frame as a child." I pondered out loud.

"Just barely too young." I heard a voice say. Turning around I saw Rose, smiling at me. Her smile melts me. "Was born 17 years, 10 months, 1 week, and 1 day ago." She said casually. "They took all the household luxuries when they won the War of the States. This included extra silverware, superfluous pleasantries, and of course, bed frames. Why have a place to hide something suspicious under your bed when they can  eliminate that option all together? Of course the Major Party gets to use a bed frame, but they are to be trusted I guess."

         I couldn't describe what I was feeling, it was one of high affection towards Rose, I couldn't quite explain it. It's possible for me to rule out being homosexual, since the party doesn't have an influx of children, inducing the need for non reproductive couples. Yes they program sexuality, and that's the part I don't mind all too much. I like who I'm meant to like, although I've never felt what I was told to feel for any boy ever. But then again, everything I'm meant to feel for a boy, I feel for Rose - maybe it's possible that they messed up somewhere, or maybe I'm a defect, just like Ashier. Either way, I've become a lost cause for the party so it doesn't even matter. I think that I may actually be romantically interested in her? I think? Is there a better way to phrase that? I'm not sure of my own feelings anymore, but all I'm sure of it that in some kind of way, I'm drawn to Rose, and all I can hope is that she is too. She looks very aesthetically pleasing in her commoner dayclothes. You can't make out a single curve of the hip, not bulge of the muscle and chest, and yet she is still beautiful. Maybe it's not her body I find beautiful, maybe it's her. I long to be held in her arms like she did on the ride here, I wish I didn't feel this way, everything has become so complex, even for me. The least I could say, now that I've acknowledged my feelings, is to voice it. If I die from such a thought, I'll die content.

         "Rose I-" before I could finish my sentence I felt a pair of arms wrapped around my body and a pair of lips on mine.

         "I already know Charlotte." Rose said, breaking away from the kiss. This kiss was nothing like the way it felt when Jude forced it on me. Rather than cold and forceful, it felt warm and welcome and genuinely loving - I craved more. "I love you the same way, I'd begun to love you the moment you shot the Respect Pin. It only grew with each action."

         For the first time in a while I felt, safe. I felt loved, like I had nothing to fear as long as I had Rose. We kissed again and I felt jolts of energy surge through different parts of my body. I felt in that moment that it was possible to live without fear of death, that I could be happy. Genuinely happy.

         "You can sleep in my room tonight if you'd like" Rose said.

         I nodded, and we kissed again.