Five Chapters Apart

Ch. 1: Somebody Else

Renesmee's POV

The sound of papers shifting, scribblings and keyboards were intensifying as I laid my head into my arms, trying to get rid of my headache. I didn't feel well and the cold whether wasn't much of a help either. It was cold here, but it was nothing like a comforting coldness like I felt back at home. It had been five years since I left Forks and life had been treating me well- I wished.

It was good, I wasn't going to complain about it but it wasn't great. I meant, the work was good, the people were nice and the food wasn't that bad either. There was something- something- I thought I could get away from the feeling, the feeling of wanting to feel his touch again, seeing his smile and craving for his warmth.

But it just wouldn't go away. The more I wanted to run away, the more I felt the painful tugging inside me. I wanted to go home- to Forks. I wanted my family, I wanted the whether- I wanted him, but I couldn't. I already left him, with what I would call ours. And it had been five years. Five fucking years. I was a jerk, I knew. I had been telling myself the same thing all over and over again.

God knew how long I had been staring at the wall now.

The ringing of my phone startled me as I adjusted my body and grabbed it, swiping up the screen to answer the call.

"Ren, what's up?" I heard Jessie asked in her usual bubbly voice. Her voice would always comfort me at times like this.

She probably wanted to ask me to join her little party after work. "Not much. Why are you calling me? You know I'm working," I said lowly as I let out a tired chuckle. My hand started to get busy as I scribbled little nothings on a paper.

"Hey, you okay? You sound beat," she sighed. Shit, I must had sounded bad.

She knew about my problem, and why I ran. I told her everything but I couldn't let her know that it came back- what was going on with me and stuffs. I didn't need anyone to know now, especially her, my very best friend.

"Yeah, sure sure," I snickered, pausing as I replayed how he would say the phrase so many times before. I shook my head and continued talking- "It's just that I'm not feeling well today. Nothing to worry about, Jess."

"You know you could use a day-off if you didn't feel fine, right?" She said, sounding concerned.

"I know. I'll be back soon. Don't worry," I smiled. I needed her to know that I was fine.

"Promise me you would go straight home once you're done. Okay, Ren? I'll come see to you at dinner. Pizza?" She asked, I still could sense a bit of worry in her little voice.

"Sure." I nodded lightly. My voice came out breathy, not that I intended it to be.

I put down my phone and looked around the office. Everybody was so busy doing their work in their own cubicles. Heads were hanging low and nothing ever moved instead of their arms and hands. The work was fine and the pay was great but nothing ever really excited me being here.

"Renesmee, you good?" Hannah, the person sitting in a cubicle next to me asked. She must had felt weirded out seeing me craning up my neck, looking around like I was searching for something.

"Yeah, yeah." I smiled. Right, I should go home now if I didn't want to make a scene later.

"Okay, tell me if you need anything," she smiled back before sliding farther back to her computer. I looked around one more time and called her.

"Hannah, do you think it's fine if I leave early today? I don't feel well," I asked guiltily. It wasn't me at all to leave work so early or even skipped a day. This job is my dream job. Being a writer and an editor.

"Aw honey, I thought so. I think we're got ourselves covered. You've already submitted your part. You need some rest. I'll see you when you get better, alright?" She smiled. She was so sweet. I thanked her and cleaned up my workspace a bit before grabbing my jacket and left the office.

I remembered Jessie's words telling me to drive straight home, but grabbing a hot coffee wouldn't hurt so I parked my car near a coffee shop and went inside quickly. I was so cold and my weak body wasn't tolerating at all. I was starting to shake and tremble as I felt my lips getting dry. It was bad enough that the side of my bottom lips got busted open because of the dryness and now there was dried blood covering the surface.

I let out a relieved sigh as I stepped inside, releasing my hair from inside my jacket and walked towards the counter. I ordered my favourite warm hazelnut coffee and lowered my head to pull out my card out of my purse. I completed the payment and waited for my order. I might have ordered a pretzel and some churros too. Yum.

"Daddy, I want a burger!" I heard a little girl's voice behind me and I softly chuckled. She was so cute.

"Jacob, she is so you," a woman's voice followed. Wait-

I froze at the name. Jacob. Calm down, Ness. He's not the same Jacob you're thinking about. I was about to calm down as I inhaled deep when I heard a voice. A voice that I had known all too well, that I wouldn't ever, ever forget. I let out my breath slowly, but it came out shattered. I almost could sense my tears about to well up in my eyes. No, it couldn't be.

"I know." He laughed. That laugh. I missed that laugh. "Hey, Josie, we get two days for ourselves now. We'll get that burger for you after I buy some lattes alright?" He chuckled. So life had been treating him all too well. It was so unfair.

"Miss..." That cashier was about to call on my name when I signalled her to not to. She stopped at her track and just smiled at me. I grabbed my order and whispered her thank you. I literally had to drag my feet away from the counter as I collected every energy that was left in me to not to turn around and look at his face while I was in front of him.

But I walked away, stopping just behind him to take a look. Just looking at him made my eyes welled up with my tears. He was just as good looking, built and tall. He was still the handsome man I loved since I first met him but- even better.

I deserved this. I deserved the pain I was feeling right now after what I had done to him. I was all my fault and all I could feel right now was regret.

He was wearing jeans and this black sweatshirt which hugged his body so great as he bunched up the sleeves to his upper arms. He looked so good for a 27 years old. What distracted me so much was the person next to him. She must had been the girlfriend. Their gestures obviously told me so. She had been clinging to his arms and hugged him every here and there while making their order. I could feel my tears falling to my cheeks so I quickly wiped them away.

But there was someone I wanted to see the most, besides Jacob. I walked more to his other side and angled my view to see her better. Then I saw her. My heart ached, and I could feel the pain, as if somebody just snatched my heart out and fucking stepped on it.

She looked just like me, a bit tanned than me but a couple shades lighter than Jake's. She had his eyes but her features were... me. I wanted to hug her and said that I was sorry for leaving them but there was nothing I could do now. Jacob was obviously in love with somebody else and to suddenly show up to them didn't sound like a good idea at all. He probably hated me and told our daughter that her mother had already died.

I could feel myself about to break down so I ran out of the place and cried in my car for a good two hours.

I deserved this.

Karma was a bitch.