I woke in the most happiest but also in the most guiltiest mood. I remembered what happened at the bomb fire.
Brandon was there.
Brandon grabbed my arm.
Nick tried to protect me.
Brandon got mad and punched nick.
Brandon and nick fought.
I ran away.
Ran into Zion.
Cut my hand.
And worst of all made out with my best friends crush.
"Great I'm a piece of shit!" I yelled
"LANGUAGE!" My dad yelled from the next room over.
"SORRY!" I yelled back
I didn't want to go to school. I didn't want to see Logan, she would know somethings up. I definitely didn't want to see Brandon. The only person I actually wanna see is Nick. Just to talk to him. He understands me and is such a good friend.
I walked into the school and everything was good so far.
"Hey em!" Logan Said from behind me.
"H-hey L-Logan." I stuttered
"Why are you stuttering? " she asked
"W-What I-im not?" I questions
"Emely, you only stutter when your hiding something." Logan Said still following me
"No. No. I gotta...I gotta go." I Said turning the corner fast and slamming my back against the wall.
"I can't do this. I can't-" I whispered to myself
I then took a couple breaths and walked back toward my locker.
"I'm okay. I'm okay." I whispered to myself walking to my locker
As I went to my locker, Zion and I caught attention and my eyes shot open and I quickly did my combination and panicked. From the corner of my eye, I could see him walking towards me.
"Shit shit shit shit shit." I whispered
"Hey Emely!" Zion said cheerfully
"Zion!! Hey!" I said cheerfully in force
" I would love to talk but the bell is about to ring." I Said fast so I could leave
"GREAT! I'll walk you to class." He said with his beautiful white smile
"...greaatttt. I said sarcastically
We began to walk to class and I just felt warmth and guilt in my body all at once.
"So how's the hand?" Zion asked
"Oh um pretty good." I Said looking at the band aid around my hand
"That's good." He replied
We both walked into class at the same time and everyone was already in there seats. Everyone's attention focused on us and I looked at Nick and I seen his jaw clench. He looked really pissed at me.
We then both quickly took our seats. I turned around and smiled at nick, but he just ignored me .
After class, nick walked out right away. I then grabbed my bag and followed him.
"Nick!" I Shouted from behind him as he kept walking away. I quickly jogged up to him pulled his arm so he was now facing me
"Nick, why are you ignoring me?" I asked
"You left me there to fight Brandon! You just ran off Emely!" He yelled
"Nick I-I-" I Said getting really sad because he was yelling
"No! I defended you and you left me there to beat up one of my best friends!" Nick yelled getting more angry
"I'm really really sorry nick, just please can we talk about this after school. You can come over and-" I tried to apologize as tears came down my face.
"No Emely! I'm done. Don't consider me your friend anymore!" He yelled as he walked away
"Nick! Please...i need you." I cried
"No! You don't need me. You never did." He said
I couldn't breath from the crying. I ran into the bathroom and into a stall. I let all my tears pour out and I felt like I lost a part of my life. Nick makes me happy. He is always there for me. I needed him.
I finally wiped away my tears and started walking to my next class. I fished all my classes and headed home. I didn't want to talk to anyone. The only person I wanted to see and talk to was Nick. I never realized how much I needed him.
I think it was good for me to just ignore everyone , including Logan. I thought everything was getting better. I became more known at my school and I was friends and more than friends with the head football players. But everything was falling apart. I knew this popular thing wasn't for me. I'm just the loner and the geek.
I woke up and put on random clothes. I didn't even brush my hair. I brushed my teeth and left the house.
I walked into the school with my headphones in and my hoodie on. I went to my locker and gathered my things. As I closed my locker I turned around fast and bumped into someone. I looked up and seen Zion.
"Em? U okay?" He asked trying to see my face
I snatched out my headphones and made eye contact with him.
"What?" I asked not hearing him the first time
"Are you okay? You don't look so good." He asked
"Gee thanks." I said sarcastically as walking away
"Emely, you know I didn't mean it like that. Why you so upset." He asked as he followed me
"Because Zion, because I don't fit in with all you guys. I'm just not like you guys. I'm not popular like Brandon. I'm not a beautiful cheerleader like Logan. I'm a nobody. I don't belong with you or anyone one on that football team. I'm just a geek." I Shouted and walked off
"Emely! you are not a geek! You are so smart and your right, you might not be a cheerleader but your the most beautiful girl I have seen walk these halls. You don't need to be popular to know that." Zion said holding my hand and pulling me close.
"Your just saying that.." I said low not making eye contact
"No. Emely your amazing." Zion said soft as he lifted my chin with his finer and pressed his lips to mine.
"WHAT THE HELL!" Logan Shouted.
I quickly pushed Zion off me.
"No, no. Logan please let me explain!" I Said rushing over to her
"Why? Why would you do that. You knew how much I liked him." She said as I could see tears form
"Please I'm so sorry Logan I didn't-" I tried to apologize
"DONT talk to me...EVER!" Logan yelled right in my face.
That's when I lost it. I ran off out the doors as I heard Zion shouting my name. I quickly got in my car and drove off as I was sobbing and sobbing. I got to my house and thank god no one was home. I ran into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror.
"YOU FUCKING SLUT!" I Shouted to myself while looking in the mirror.
I didn't know what to do I just wanted everything to go away. I wanted everything to go back to the way it was. I turned on the fossit to the bath and let it rise. I took of my clothes and laid in the bath. I felt ashamed and disappointed in myself.
I lost nick. Logan. What's the point of being here. To go to school and be alone. To not have anyone to talk to.
I'm just so tired. I don't want to do this anymore. I got out the bath and put on shorts and a tank top. I walked back into the bathroom and went in the cabinets. I dug and dug threw them until I found my moms sleeping pills. I grabbed them and looked at myself once more on the mirror. I opened the cap and pour a hand full in my hand, I brought my hand to my mouth and....
