OUT OF LINE (Kendall and Y/N)

24. It doesn't feel right..

Kendall's POV

I woke because of the sun that is beaming my eyes. I checked the time on my phone and it's already 10am in the morning. I'm happy that i don't have any photoshoots today, i can lay in my bed all day. I checked my twitter and instagram, i saw a tweet from TMZ and Hollywood Life.

HollywoodLife
New face Y/N Harper and Barbara Palvin spotted having lunch at Nobu Malibu?!👀

TMZLive
Is Barbara Palvin now dating Y/N Harper after she called it quits with Lewis Hamilton two months ago?!

Sources said that the two spotted having lunch last thursday at Nobu Malibu and they spotted again having dinner at Mastro's. Find out more about this celebrities!

They are trending, this is good for her career but i just wished that it was me who is doing a PR stunt with her. "Stop Kendall, stop. You are now dating, you're trying to move on. Getting back to her is a mistake, you are just picking out the pieces of yourself. Just enjoy your life and don't stress too much." I muttered to myself. I stalked Y/N in her instagram and i saw her new post, it's a picture of her and Barbara.

"They look good together!"

"This is so sweet. ❤️"

"Gyönyörű bébi means gorgeous babe. Awww"

"Are they now a thing? Is this the girl at Zayn's concert?"

"My new ship. 🥰"

"Wait isn't she Kendall's ex? I saw them years ago at Venice beach walking and they are lovey dovey to each other."

That is long gine, girl. No one knows that me and Y/N were a thing, when the media saw us hanging out my mom cover it up and pay them not to show the news and she set me up a PR stunt with Blake right away so people would know that i'm dating a guy.

Me and Y/N are complicated, we're friends but we are in love with each other. I was the one who insisted that we should stay friends. I trust her as a friend, but i still don't trust her with my heart. I wanted to see if my relationship with Ben could work. I'm not gonna lie, i am jealous at Barbara because she gets to make her smile, laugh, and touch her hand or even hug her or worst kiss her. I miss me and Y/N.

....

I arrived at Y/N's apartment, maybe we could have lunch together. I just hope that she's at her house. I'm planning to surprise her. I let out a sigh before knocking. I knocked three times, and no one is answering. "Just a second!"

The door opened and i saw Barbara, my heart sank as soon as i saw her at Y/N's apartment. Did they have sex last night? Are they together already? Fuck this is awkward.

"Oh h-hey Ken." Barbara said and she smiled to me, "Hey Barbs. I-i'll come back later." I said to her.

"No you don't have to. I'm going home anyways i have a photoshoot, Y/N is in her room sleeping. I just took care of her last night, she is so drunk." She said to me, and i nodded.

"She's calling your name all night. She is hurting Ken.." She added and she left Y/N's apartment.

I walk to Y/N's room and i saw her still sleeping. I looked at her, she got tears stain in her cheeks. "I'm sorry that you're hurting Y/N.." I whispered to her. I feel bad because i'm hurting her, but i'm trying to fix myself. I plant a kiss on her forehead and i head to her kitchen.

While i'm cooking her a brunch, i startled when someone speak behind me. "Ken? What are you doing here?" She asked.

"Oh my god you scared me Y/N!" I said to her as i held my chest. She laughs at me.

"You scared me. I thought i'm alone and i woke up because someone is cooking at my kitchen." She said laughing.

"Barbara left, she told me she have a photoshoot today. She took care of you last night, you should thank her." I said to her, Barbara is good friend of mine. She's really sweet and kind..

"Yeah, i'm going to call her later. Why are you here anyway? Do you need something?" She asked and she sat down at the stool at hrr kitchen counter.

"I was about to ask you if you want to have lunch with me, but you're still sleeping when i got here." I said.

We both eat the pasta that i made, she ask me if i wanted to watch movie and i said yes. I want to hang out with her, i know that i've been rejecting her ever since i started going out with Ben. We are now watching the movie, 'isn't it romantic?'.

Me and Y/N are eating popcorn while watching the movie, i'm stealing glances at her when she laughs. I miss her laugh, i miss her so much.. "Y/N can i ask you something?" I said to her and her attention turns to me.

"Yeah, sure. What is it?"

"Are you and Barbara had sex last night?" I said to her and she laughs.

"What? No. She spend the night here because i'm super drunk and she drove me home with my car. She don't have hers that's why i told her to stay. Why?" She asked me.

"N-nothing, i just thought something happened between you two." I said to her.

"Barbara likes me thought. She wanted to date me, and i told her that i'd think about it. Is it okay, if i date your friend?" NO.

"Y-yeah, sure. As long as it makes you happy.." Fuck.

"Are you sure about that?"

"Why do you want to get my approval Y/N?" I asked.

"Because you told me you still love me, and i thought that dating Barbara would hurt you. And i don't wanna hurt you anymore Ken, if you want me to wait for you i'll do it." She held my hand and i'm speechless. I don't know what to say..

"Y/N we already talked about this.."

"I just want to know, tell me you want me to wait for you Ken. I'll do everything.."

"You're not going to hurt me Y/N. I don't want you to wait for me, because we're both not sure what's gonna happen in the future. I don't want to hold you back, maybe Barbara is what you need and Ben is what i need.." Her tears started to fall, and she quickly wiped it.

"Okay. I just want to ask you first. I'm sorry.." I just nodded and smile at her.

"Don't cry Y/N.. I just don't want us to be awkward with each other."

"Alright, i'm sorry. This is the last we're going to talk about this. I promise." She gave me a smile and play the movie again.

After that day, me and Y/N never talked about it again. It's been three weeks now, i don't want to hold her back, i just want her to enjoy her life like i'm doing with mine. She and Barbara are always going out, i can still feel a jealousy towards Barbara. But i have to deal with it, because i chose this path. I chose to be with Ben than to be with her. I'm scared to trust her again with my heart. Ben makes me happy and feel loved, but i know to myself that i will be more happy if i'm with Y/N.

"Ken can i ask you something?" Ben said to me.

"Yeah babe, what is it?" I looked at him and he sighed  nervously.

"We've been dating for a month now, i want to ask you if you want to be my girlfriend?" I don't know why but when said that the first thing that it came through my mind is Y/N.

"Babe?" He called me because i zoned out for a bit. "Did you hear me?" He asked.

"Y-yeah. Yes babe, i would love to be your girlfriend." I forced a smile to him.

"Really?! Yes!!" He celebrated and hugged me. He plant a kiss on my temples. "I love you Ken."

"I love you too.." I said to him. I'm hoping that i'm making the right decision to choose him over Y/N.

I immediately called Gigi to share her the news. I'm sure she'll know what to say to me. I just need to talk to her, because it doesn't feel right saying yes to Ben. I just have to hear Gigi that i did the right thing. All i ever think right now is Y/N.