A Heart of Gold

Chapter 10

Creamy white cake stands of varying heights are piled high with gorgeous confectionaries. Pies topped with glossy, crisscrossed crusts and dripping with dried red and purple juice. Tarts, their short, sturdy sides bravely holding up their heavy loads of brightly colored fruits and berries. Tall cakes, covered in ribbons of frosting have roses, both delicate real and crisp sugar ones, tumbling down their steep sides.

But the cupcakes are the show stoppers. The gorgeous girl at the party whose magnetic presence draws the attention of everyone in attendance. Piles of them sit on cake stands with ruffled edges, frosting swirled as high as the cupcakes are tall. All in silver wrappers and sprinkled with something beautiful; rainbow colored confetti, shiny round pearls, twinkling glitter. Their colors- the palest of pinks, sunny yellows and robin's egg blues could rival any carefully dyed Easter eggs, any spoiled newborn's nursery, any patisserie window on the streets of Paris.

It is a bright Saturday morning, and my crew and I tumble off a long and loud yellow school bus, but it might as well be a glamourous Friday evening with us stepping out of a shiny stretch limo. There is a literal red carpet stretching from the curb to the door of Harry's recording studio and my heart twists in my chest, wondering if Harry himself had rolled it out.

"For later... for later," I whisper repeatedly, once inside, nodding as I sweep my arms to usher my kiddos away from the tables of sweets. They crane their necks as they shuffle along reverently. Their wide eyes make me giggle and their self-control makes me proud.

We did a great deal of prepping for today, as we always do before venturing out on any trip. Prepared with precious few life experiences, I try my best to prepare my kids for the unknown. To model how to dress and behave. To teach them how to navigate the unfamiliar.

We discussed this being a 'fancy' event and that we should act and dress accordingly. Harry had their Gucci outfits cleaned and sent to the school after the shoot so they wore them again today since, for most, it is the only 'fancy' thing they own.

Getting dressed was not as easy for me. I decided to ditch my 'teachery' pants and cardigan in favor of something from the other side of my closet. Little black dresses are my guilty pleasure. I have a small collection of them in different fabrics, lengths, necklines and details but ironically, few occasions to wear them. I just love the promise that they hold. I hummed the song to myself and shook my head, wondering if Harry might make a silly pun seeing me arrive wearing a little black dress.

I selected one that was classic but sexy. Sleeveless with a v-shaped neckline, it had a fitted waist and a slim skirt that hit just above my knee. Turning in my mirror, the back kick pleat opened a bit as I shifted my hips and I felt a shiver of panic run through me. What am I doing?

I unzipped the dress and let it plunk to the floor. My cheeks turned pink as I tossed it on my bed. Let's not get carried away. This is not a date. I am a mom of 27 ten-year-olds today. Amazingly, everyone but Sofia will be there. And I'm sad for her because she could use this the most right now.

I pulled a yellow, small-patterned flowered sundress from a hanger and wiggled it over my head. It was still pretty with a halter neck, an open back and a flowy skirt and I paired it with my favorite strappy, heeled sandals. Now almost late, I turned for a final once-over and was again struck with self-doubt over my braless and bare backed state. I stomped my foot and growled at myself in frustration, grabbed a chunky cardigan to cover up, and dashed out the door.

*

"You look super fly in those shoes, Miss J."

"My clothes are scratchy, can I change?"