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Eddie sighed as he carefully brushed the paint onto his finger nails, the bright purple color transferring from the bristles to his neatly kept nails. He hummed along to a song as he peacefully painted his nails, his grey eyes trained hard on not getting any color on his tan skin. Once he finished the pinkie, he went over all of them with a top coat, hoping they'd last longer than usual. He smiled in satisfaction as he observed his nails, the pastel color sending warm butterflies of happiness into his heart. He blew on the nails gently and then slid off of his bed, going into the bathroom to gaze at himself in the mirror.
Eddie thought he was pretty at times. On the rarest of occassions, he sometimes allowed himself to feel worthy.
Eddie felt his smile fall from his face as a heavy hollowness settled deep within his heart. His neck grew hot and his hands began to shake, causing him to let out a soft huff of hopelessness. Why couldn't he just have one peaceful moment? Whenever he felt even slightly at ease, his good feelings never lasted for more than a few mere seconds. The doctors had told Eddie Kaspbrak that he was different, and that it took people like him a lot more to remain happy. But why? Eddie hadn't asked for this. Why was the small brunette so deserving of pain according to the great gods that Eddie wasn't even sure existed. Rejection Sensitive Dsyphoria, the doctors had called it. He remembered the appointment distinctly.
The small boy's mother had taken him to the doctor's for an examination for his high energy levels and strong depressive feelings. They had conducted a series of tests, which eventually concluded that Eddie was one of the many children with Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. He had ignored this part of him for a long while, and even now he wasn't sure he identified with the label. Eddie struggled with certain things more than other kids, especially with social interactions and taking critism. He often found himself drowning in the horrifying memories of interactions that had gone horribly wrong; the girl he had publically been rejected by in fifth grade, the teacher who had yelled at him for being unable to sit still, the boy who had called him a bitch and shoved him to the ground, and many many more.
The words of his peers piled up on the back of Eddie Kaspbrak, each syllable weighing more than the last and causing his feet to shake with the overall weight. He was hopeless. Memories were his biggest enemy, which was a pathetic truth he had been forced to live with. Even now, at 19 years old, he was forced to stress over the words of highschool bullies from years and years ago. His mind was a fire; the monsterous flames enveloping his entire body and slowly burning away at the flesh that coated his frail bones. Eddie was stuck in pure mental anguish.
Suddenly the pain became too much to bear, causing the petite brunette to make a harsh grab for his phone. He dialed a number quickly, feeling his eyes prick with tears as he desperately waited to hear the voice of his best friend. When the phones connected, his opened his mouth to speak. However, he was cut off by the sound of Mike's harsh voice.
