my not so deep intrusive thoughts

dreams

This is one of those weird serious ansgty teen bs chapters. And when i say serious i mean im not joking (like a normally do.) And am actually saying my honest opinion ect.

So I've had two of these dreams and there with him i mean I've had dreams before but never actual realistic dreams. Ones where he actually acts like himself all the others where romantic bullshit type stuff thta never seemed right... What i mean by that is that im a very tsundere type person... My way of showing affection is calling you an asshole than holding your hand. His way of showing affection... Idk... He's hard to read. I can tell he dosent hate me but i cant tell if he really does want me around.
So back to the dreams

I've had two of these realistic dreams
One of which we where walking to the road which im not aloud to cross since i take the bus. I here little gremlin (diffrent person from blind ass rat.) "you guys should kiss." Out of shock i say "No!" Then he turns to me with than shit eating grin and says "no?" Not in a sad way not in an angry way he said it in his sarcastic goofy voice that always makes me happy... "Well i mean yes?" And before i actually recolect my thoughts he kisses me... And for a second im happy then little gremlin starts wooping.

The second dream.

This ones a step down from the other dream. So i was standing by the rose bush outside of our school. I see him and decide to walk next to him. For some reason ben isn't there. 'Probably absent.' I think before attempting to hold his hand. He pulls away as i suspected but then he.. He put a hand in my hair. He just rubbed my hair around... It was nice i liked it it felt like he cared for me sort of a message saying "i care about you i just dont express my feelings the same way."
Then i woke up...

A/n
I wrote this laying down in bed in a sloth onesie.