Thirty - Seven

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All my life I heard the word heartbreak tossed around by crying girls and angry boys, but I never thought I would understand how something emotional can hurt one physically. But now... Fuck my chest burns with the agony of Nolan's betrayal. How could he do this to me? To us?

"Kaelin?" Alessia timidly enters my room, her face is red from anger. I heard her screaming at who I can only assume was Nolan. "Have you started packing yet?"

I shake my head and continue to cry silently into my pillow. Nolan doesn't even remember how he hurt me or what he did, and that in itself is heartbreaking. How can he hurt me like this and not even remember? I should have know that fuck boys don't change, they're incapable and they don't even have the desire to.

"Okay let's-"

"-Hannah, I want to sleep. Please go away." I mutter. I won't sleep. I know that, but at least I can cry in peace.

Hannah doesn't protest, she gives me a short hug and leaves my room.

Part of me says that Gage was right, that Nolan didn't want to be with a weak hockey girl like me. Even though Nolan never said that specifically, look at how he humiliated me.

A quiet bang comes from balcony doors. My heart seized in my chest, is Mason back for me? He can't be. He wouldn't risk it. Would he?

I keep my back turned, my breathes becoming shorter. There's another bang from the door.

"Kaelin?" It's him. The devil himself. How dare he come here after what he did. Drunk or not what he did was inexcusable. I like him and I care deeply for Nolan Hunter, but what he did is unforgivable.

I ignore him and pull the covers up further over my head. Tears fill my eyes as I picture Nolan touching Mikayla Isles, the very girl who has spit on both my existence and my team's.

"Kitten? Please let me in." Nolan's voice is desperate, I can tell he thinks he can weasel his way out of this with sweet words and calming gestures. And I know, if I let him in, I will fall for it.

Besides, I'm not his only kitten.

"Kaelin, baby, please let me explain."

Furiously, I rip the covers off and stomp over to the glass doors. His face lights up as I unlock and swing the door open.

"How the fuck can you explain, Nolan?" I seethe, shoving him back towards his balcony. "You cheated on me. You found a new kitten."

"Kaelin you know I love you-"

"-No you don't! People who love each other don't fuck random girls at parties! People who love each other wouldn't even look at other people!" I yell, tears leak from eyes and spill onto my tank top. I take my hands through my hair and pull so hard my scalp stings.

Nolan is quiet. He reaches for me, but I take a step back. I won't melt under his touch like I used to, I can't. I don't trust this boy.

"Aidan told me everything, Nolan," I whisper. "How you told her she was the most beautiful girl you had ever seen, how her eyes are your favorite color and how she's your kitten and your baby. If you loved me, you would have never even thought of any of those things."

Nolan runs his hand through his hair and looks at me. His amber eyes are glossy with tears and show sadness, but I know he can't be sad. Maybe the old Nolan could have felt that way, but not this boy. Not this boy who so easily tore me into a thousand pieces.

"You don't know what love is, Nolan Hunter. And even if you did, you don't deserve it. Once a player always a player." I whimper.

Nolan has tears running down his cheeks. "I...Kaelin... I do love you, more than anything. I made a stupid mistake." He steps closer to me, so I step back until my back hits the balcony doors. He moves until his hands are on my waist, gently pushing me against my house.

"She didn't mean anything to me. You, Kaelin Summers, you are my everything. I wake up and think of you, you're my last thought before I fall asleep every night. There's not a damn day that goes by that I don't regret everything that happened to you. Fuck, you're my kitten, and I'll do anything to prove it to you." He embraces me.

"You are so full of shit!" I shove him off of me. "Stay the hell away from me, I'll be gone in a week anyways, then you can fuck your whore whenever you'd like."

I walk back inside and slam the balcony door so hard the glass cracks. I begin sobbing firstly because of his heart felt confession and secondly because it's bull shit. You can't claim to love someone and then go and make love to someone else.

I flop back on my bed and continue crying. I hate him. I hate Nolan Hunter and I wish I'd never met him.

I love him, I can never let him go.

//

I can barely open my eyes when the sun shining through my window gently rouses me from my slumber. The tears I cried have dried and nearly glued my eyes shut. I rub them and sit up in my bed.

I glare at my open and empty suitcase across the room. Going to a new school feeling this shitty is going to be a blast and a half for sure.

I grab my phone and check the time. Ignoring all 214 notifications from Nolan, I see that it is 11:02am. I'm surprised neither Hannah nor Alessia has come to check on me yet.

I glance outside. On my balcony is a bouquet of purple flowers and a card, along with a box of chocolates and a couple packs of hockey cards. Nolan has got to be kidding me. What part of leave me alone did he not understand?

I leave the apology outside where it belongs and walk out of my room. My house is silent, Hannah and Alessia must have gone to their homes. I don't blame them they're probably absolutely exhausted.

My doorbell rings. What the fuck? Can I not have some peace and quiet? I stomp to my door and swing it open with fire burning in my chest and heat rising to my cheeks.

"You have got to be kidding me right now," I sigh. "go away, I'm not in the mood for you."

"Kaelin, I heard about what Nolan did..." Tristan murmurs. "Can I take you out on a date? Preferably without getting the shit beaten out of this time." Tristan stands with a nervous smile on his handsome face.

"No." I scowl. "I'm leaving in a few days anyways, I don't need extra stress."

He smiles even bigger. "But that's the the thing! I'm going to the academy too!"

"Oh haha great, congratulations." I smile. This is not great. I love how he waits until right after my hearts gets broken to even talk to me again. I apologized about twenty times for what Nolan and Ethan did, but he repeatedly left me on read and didn't answer my calls.

"So... I'll pick you up at 7?"

I shouldn't. I shouldn't do this. But fuck if the hockey girl in me doesn't want revenge on Nolan. I shouldn't do it to Tristan, but I just can't help myself.

"What should I wear?"

A/N

So I did put a message on my board saying that their wouldn't be an update until at least Sunday or Monday, however I guess not a lot of people saw it haha. Anyways, I just got through exam week and am on vacation somewhat so updates will be a lot more frequent and I apologize once again for how long this one took and the poor communication!

-Court <3

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