A Mute Rejected Mate

Slowly

I hear beeping. I hear someone talking to me. But I can't understand what they are saying. My whole body is in pain.

I try to open my eyes. I'm tired of the darkness. I try, but it won't work. Nothing works. I can't move.

Am I dead? If I am, where is my mom and dad?

I feel someone grab my hands and tingles start to go through my body.

Xavier? No. He hates me.

What the hell is happening? I hear someone yelling, but I still can't understand the words.

Is this heaven? Or is this hell? God, either way this hurts. I feel something wet on my hand. Is someone licking me?

No. Those are tears. Whose crying? Maybe of laughter? They are probably telling jokes and laughing too hard. So I must be alive. Damn it.

My thoughts are interrupted by a horrifying memory:

Michelle's nasal voice. "Keep your mouth shut if you don't want this to happen again." Her hands gripping my arm. My screams and pleas for someone to help and no one came. Fear begins to spread through me.

I want to be dead.

Dead.

Dead.

Dead.

Please please please. Make me die, God. Haven't I had enough?

Suddenly, the weight on my eyes is lifted and I can finally open them. As I open them, the brightness of the room makes me close them again. I turn my head a bit to the side and open them again.

I look and see a doctor at the edge of the bed I'm laying in. I turn my head to see Xavier staring at me with wide, bloodshot eyes. I turn my head to the other side and see Steven and behind him is Micah.

"Lucy." I turn to look at the doctor.

No! No damn it! I want to be dead. I hear the beeping get louder and turn to see a machine connected to me.

"Lucy. Calm down." The doctor says coming towards me. She pushes a needle into the tube in my arm. I calm down, and my pain isn't as bad, but I'm still afraid. They're going to hurt me.

I know it. They're going to be mad I caused so much trouble.

"Lucy. Are you alright?" The doctor asks. She is looking at me with worried eyes.

"Keep your mouth shut if you don't want this to happen again."

It's a trick. I know it's a trick. They are trying to get me to talk so they can hurt me. I just sit up and press my back against the back of the bed. I begin to cry and try to force myself away from the edge of the bed. 

"Lucy." I turn and look at Xavier. He grabs one of my hands which I try to pull away. He's going to hurt me. He keeps his grip. "I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. I should've helped you. I-I take my rejection back. Please just please don't leave me." he kisses my hand.

I'm confused. Isn't he going to yell at me? I just stare back him with wide eyes. I won't speak. I refuse.

"Lucy, are you feeling okay?" the doctor asks. She has a very concerned expression.

Am I okay? No. I don't think I'll ever be okay. They've made me feel so afraid. I don't know what I'm going to do. I wanted to die.

All that comes out of me is a small whimper. Xavier lets out a breath before saying, "Oh Lucy. I'm so sorry."

 What the hell? He hated me yesterday. Or was it yesterday?

I look at the doctor wanting her to tell me how long it's been. But I can't. I just stare at her hoping she will understand.

"Lucy, you've been in a coma for almost a month. We thought you wouldn't wake up but clearly we were wrong. Do you feel any pain?" she walks closer to me and checks the monitor.

A coma? Almost a month? I'm surprised they didn't just pull the plug or throw me into another lake. I look down and see I've lost weight and hair is longer than before.

I nod my head. "Where?" she asks.

I take my hand out of Xavier since my other one seems in some sort of cast and burns like hell. I point at head and then down my whole body and my burnt arm.

"So everywhere. Okay. We are going to take some tests. I'll be back in a couple of minutes. I'll give you all time to talk, but please. Don't overwhelm her." she walks out and I begin panicking.

They wouldn't hurt me when I was with her. Now, I'm all alone. I just look at the door. Hoping it opens again.

"Lucy, I'm so sorry." I look over and Steven is coming closer to my side. I try to scoot away from him so he can't touch me. He will hurt me. He didn't help me. He will hit me. He always hits me. As I scoot over, I feel Xavier wrap his arms around me from behind. I want to scream at him to stop and get as far away as him as I can, but my body craves his touch.

Even though he didn't help me and he hurt me, I can't stop my body's reaction to him. 

"I never meant for this to happen." I hear another voice say. I look over and see Micah. Fear bursts through me and I look away, my face resting on Xavier's shoulder. 

"She hates us." I hear Steven cry. He sounds so desperate. "You just stood there and did nothing and she still goes to you!"

Now, I feel guilty and mad at myself. Xavier didn't help me either. But the warmth gets rid of the pain.

"I'm not your mate!"  The sudden memory of me meeting Xavier for the first time pops into my head. I wince remembering that night. 

Steven is right. I shouldn't be doing this. I pull myself away from Xavier and move against the wall.

Xavier growls at Steven before pinning him to the wall. I gasp and Micah goes to get Xavier off of him.

"You son of a bitch! Didn't you see her heart rate going down to normal?! Now it's back up! She's my mate! I shouldn't have done what I did. But neither should you!" Steven's face is beginning to turn purple from Xavier's tight grip on his neck, but he still looks angry. 

I begin crying and that annoying fucking machine keeps beeping faster. Xavier lets Steven go and turns around. Micah comes towards me and Xavier stares at me taking deep breaths while Steven is on the floor coughing.

"What the hell is going on?!?" We all look over and see the doctor standing in the doorway, looking pissed. "All of you, out." She walks towards me and checks the monitor before putting something in my IV. I calm down immediately and I try to control my crying.

"I said to not overwhelm her! Clearly that was not understood. All of you need to leave."

"She's my mate." Xavier says lowly.

The doctor gives him a look before saying, "If you don't want your mate to have a mental breakdown I suggest you leave now." Xavier face softens and he looks at me. "I'll be back soon, Lucy, okay?" he then walks out with my "brothers"

Why couldn't I have died?