Park Roseanne or Park Chaeyoung
❥ The girl who thinks that life is unfair, that life sucks, that life's a bitch. I mean, who wouldn't think about things like that if you were in her place? She's been sick all her life and she just wants to be normal...
I silently put my things back on my bag because classes just ended for the day. I want to go out of here as early as possible because I have plans.
I lifted my bag and swung it around me so I can put it in my back. I was about to go out but someone tapped me in my shoulder, making me turn around to face them.
"Yo, Roseanne." Bambam said while waving at me. I smiled a little. His presence comforts me. Probably because he was Lisa's childhood friend. Was.
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(Bambam of Got7)
"Going home? Do you want me to go with you?" He's always like this. So protective of me. Probably because I have Lisa's heart.
I shook my head and said, "No, thanks. I have plans today, Bambam." He sadly smiled when he realized what I meant.
"You're going to her again?" He softly asked, making me look down. His eyes flickered sadness.
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I can't afford to cry again here in the classroom. I have so many embarrassing scenes here already, I don't want to add more.
I looked up and whispered, "I always go to her, Bambam. Always." And with that, I turned around and walked away from that stupid classroom.
I'm thankful that I'm classmates with Bambam, Joy, Yeri and Jisoo. But then, Jennie is one of my classmates too. I hate her guts so much and guess what? The feeling's mutual so we always fight and end up in detention afterwards.
As I got out of the gate, Joy and Yeri welcomed me. Not this scene again. Why do they always talk me out every time? Every day? Aren't they tired? Because I am.
"When will you stop going there?" Joy asked me with a worried look. I get that they're all worried about me but for Pete's sake, I can take care of myself! I'm not suicidal!
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(Joy of Red Velvet)
"Isn't it about time to let her go, Chaeyoung ah?" This time it was Yeri who asked. How many times have I heard this line before? Probably twice a day or more.
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(Yeri of Red Velvet. Maknae)
I took a deep breath and exhaled. "Look, I know you guys are worried and all but you guys need to stop thinking about me." I said which made them look guilty. "Like seriously, it's getting annoying." I added, making the both of them cross their arms as they stare at me.
Joy opened her mouth and was about to argue but I stopped her. "Hephephep! No, zip it! I don't wanna hear it." Joy rolled her eyes at me, making me roll mine too.
"I'm fine." I calmly said, making the both of them inhaled heavily. I'm seriously fine though but they won't believe me.
Probably because after I got out of the hospital, I locked myself in my room for a month. I mean, do you guys blame me? I lost the most important person in my life. I'm allowed to grief. I'm allowed to be hurt. I'm allowed to cry. But why won't they allow me? Probably because it's been so long since she died.
"Fine, go but be home before 7. Okay?" Joy said, making me slap her shoulder lightly. "Alright, mom. Thanks." I teased her, making her smile a little.
As I waved goodbye to the two, I started walking towards the place where she is. Because of what happened to Lisa, I kinda built myself a fear. I have a fear of riding vehicles now. So I'm very thankful that the school and my house is just 15 minutes walk.
I past the hospital which pained me a little because this is where Lisa and I got operated on. I didn't know how scary a hospital can be until she died. The last time I went in this hospital was seven months ago where I had my last check up and after that, I never stepped a foot in that damn hospital again.
Then I remembered Naeun unnie. I keep missing her but when I remember that she operated on me and she took Lisa's heart, it makes me change my mind. I love her and hate her at the same time. She saved my life but in exchange, I have to take Lisa's heart. Don't get me started with Hayoung. The last time I saw the two of them was also seven months ago.
I took a turn and the gloomy cemetery met my eyes. I entered the cemetery and every step I take makes me cautious. I don't want to upset any of the dead. I go here everyday so probably all of the dead here already knows me by now.
Funny thing is, it's really scary here and yet I'm not scared. I wonder what happened to me. Probably because I have Lisa's heart now and her heart? Her heart is very brave. The exact opposite of mine.
I stopped when I'm already in front of her. I smiled when I saw her and said, "I'm back, babe. Did you miss me?" I whispered at the wind as I looked down.
Lalisa Manoban
March 27, 1997 August 8, 2019
I was born to be a hero and now that I've fulfilled my duty, God called me home to heaven.
I sat down at the grass as I stared at her headstone. "It's already been a year but it still feels like it was only yesterday. Lisa, I still can't seem to let you go." As I said that, a tear escaped in my eye again. Every time I go here, I always cry. Sorry for being a crybaby but I can't help it. I'm weak and vulnerable, I know that. But wouldn't be if the love of your life just died for you?
