the Shaan story

I've been looking for you

WARNING: FORCEFUL MARRIAGE

Shaans POV

As I fast walked down the street looking for my future husband I saw a big black van with a bunch of girl chasing after it.

"LUKE! CALLUM! ASHTON! MICHAEL!"

Is that the backstreet boys? I thought. Then some guys came out of the van.

Oh it's 6 seconds of winter aye.

I ran over to the van and careful took out my sniper and shot all the fan girls in a leg so that they didn't get in my way. They all fell down like bowling pins and I ran straight up to luke. I asked the other guys to go in the van and whilst I shut the door behind them, I through a canister of sleeping gas in there.

I hit Luke in the head with a frying pan and put a potato sack over his head and threw him over my shoulder.

To everyone that was giving me the are-you-a-fucking-pedophile look, I would just smile and say "kids these days." And chuckle and then they'd give me the

youre-kidnapping-someone-aye look and I'd just laugh, nod then trot along to my abandoned warehouse where my Grier soup is. Fuck it's probs getting cold. I put lukey in an alley way and went to the closest Internet cafe store.

I dibst a computer and went onto microwaves.com and ordered a microwave. Express post. Can't have cold Grier soup...for my wedding. I walked outside and caught my microwave which fell from the sky. Express post...u da man.

I grabbed Luke and threw him over my shoulder and put the microwave in my pocket. Thank god for big pocket pants.

I flew home on my Pegasus and put Luke on Nash and HAYES' bed. I took the potato sack off and put it on his body as a blanket.

I went to my now-cold Grier soup and threw the microwave in it. Perfect.

Whilst he was still unconcious, I set up rows of white chairs and that half oval thing that you have at entrances. I dressed unconcious Luke in a suit and tied him to those construction trolleys. I dressed myself in a white dress and started walking down the aisle.

We did all that wedding mumbo jumbo and BAM were married.

I got my ladle and started rationing the soup. This math is hard. 2 people splitting one soup...uhh is that 70-30? Wait wait 50-50. #smartestbitchontheplanet

It was filling, believe me I'm like stuffed bro.

I put Luke on HAYES and nash's previous bed and put his potato sack in replacement as a blanket. I climbed up into my hanging bed and watched him "sleep" until I fell asleep.