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I'm terrified to be alone with men, because of you.
I was never physically abused by a man, but you allowed them to mentally fuck me.
You allowed these horrible, retched men into my life when I was still and adolescent. I was still learning from my surroundings.
You allowed them to talk down on you and your child. You allowed them to let your child shed a tear from their bitter, nasty words.
You allowed them to invade my privacy. You didn't set boundaries. When I was away, my belongings would be gone through. At night, my door would be open or closed. I would be disrupted from my sleep as revenge for acting as a mere child.
You question why I am so fucked up. Why I'm mentally ill. Why I'm so weird around men.
This is why.
I jump when I am touched by a man. I coward when I hear their voice. I try to avoid social outgoings to avoid repeats.
I still hear all their voices. You're stupid. You're retarded. You're worthless. That's why {so and so} doesn't want you. You don't have any friends.
I am afraid, thanks to you.
I will fear physical contact with a man. I will fear being alone with a man. I will fear man. All my life.
