the Unexpected

Blood Pact

“How are you these days, Xarina?” he asked with gentleness and with eyes focused on me.

I tried to meet his gaze but I feel nervous and uncomfortable, pakiramdam na hindi ko maintindihan.

“Sa totoo po, hindi ko alam kung paano ko sasagutin ang tanong na yan. Yes, I am living my life the way I should live it but still, there’s a part of me that’s missing.” saglit akong lumanghap ng hangin dahil pakiramdam ko mauubusan ako ng hininga. “I still miss him, I always do sir.” I didn’t know if it is the right thing to say, but that is one thing that’s very obvious.

“I know hija, kahit ako, namimiss ko na din sya, he is my son kahit pa hindi kami nagkaayos bago sya umalis. I know after he left, you never had a chance na makausap sya, alam ko it has been a hard time for you. I’m sorry.” he grabbed his glass of wine but didn’t get to taste it, para bang nagaalinlangan sya sa gagawin nya, ibinaba nya ang baso at para bang nagiisip. Then he looked at me.

Why do I feel like I want to run away?

I have waited for this moment, for the answers. Yet, I feel nervous na parang ayaw ko na marinig ang sasabihin nya.

“Kamusta na po sya? Kailan po ba sya babalik?” hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili ko na magtanong.

“Hindi ko rin alam. No one knows, maaaring this year, next year or five more years, hindi ko masisigurado sayo.” Bakas sa mukha nya ang lungkot, at masasabi ko na hindi sya nagsisinungaling.

Pero paano nangyari yun?

“Pa-paano po na hindi nyo alam? Tatay nya kayo at pareho kayong member ng Alpha. Tapos na yung case namin dito sa Pilipinas. They acknowledged the validity of my membership to Alpha. Di po ba dapat babalik na sya, kasi okay na, tapos na.” I didn’t mean to be intrusive pero alam ko na medyo lumabis ako at lumakas ang boses ko.

Ramdam ko na din ang mga luhang nangingilid sa mga mata ko but I am keeping my self steady. I am waiting. Waiting for sir Luis to answer.

“It is not about the case or the rule violation anymore Xarina. It is more than that and that’s why you are here with me.” tumayo si sir Luis at lumapit sa bintana na para bang kailangan nya ng malawak na espasyo para makagalaw at makahinga.

“I don’t understand sir Luis. Kung hindi po tungkol sa nangyari nung initiation, kung hindi ito tungkol sa naging relasyon namin ni Locket, bakit hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa sya umuuwi? Ano po ba talagang nangyayari, sir Luis?” napatayo na din ako sa kinauupuan ko at tuluyan na ko nawalan ng gana kumain.

He didn’t look at me but he took a glance on his left as if trying to give me a quick look. I heard him gave a deep sigh, kasabay nun ay hinawi nya ang kurtina na nagtataklob sa bintana. I can see from where I stand the busy streets and high rising buildings.

Walang bakas ng malungkot na araw.

“Alam ko na hindi magugutustuhan ni Locket kung malalaman nya na magkausap tayo. Mas lalong hindi nya magugustuhan kung ako ang magsasabi sayo, pero it’s time na malaman mo ang sitwasyon nya Xarina.” Hindi pa rin sya tumintingin saken, para bang inaaliw nya ang sarili nya sa mga nakikita nya sa labas ng bintana. Para bang may mabigat syang papakawalan.

“I’m willing to listen sir Luis. I think I deserve to know the truth dahil naaapektuhan na din po ang buhay ko. I need to know.” I sound so begging, but I don’t care right now.

Nararamdaman ko na marami akong dapat malaman, maraming sikreto na kahit si Locket hindi sinabi saken.

Pero bakit?

At last, sir Luis looked at me with tired and worried eyes.

“Locket is no ordinary member of Alpha.” He exclaimed, but I know it already.

“I remember, nabanggit nyo na po yan saken nung nagusap tayo. I already knew it, but what about it po?” bumibilis pa lalo ang tibok ng puso ko, parang gusto ko na umupo dahil parang nawawalan na ko ng lakas.

We are less than a meter apart and he tried to look at me straight to the eye.

“Locket’s future was already decided even before he was born.” He looked sorry for telling me but I cannot grasp the reason why.
Naghintay lang ako sa sunod nyang sasabihin, wala akong lakas para magtanong pa.

“I believed he did not tell you about this, naniniwala sya na kaya pa nyang baguhin ang nakatakda para sa kanya. And he is fighting for it, up until now -.”he paused.