the Unexpected

Broken

After hearing their conversation I rushed to my room. Di ko na alam ang dapat kong maramdaman at kung anu ang dapat kong isipin, my mind is crowded and my heart feels so broken. As I reached the door of my room, I open it as fast as I can and slammed it shut.

Xandy is here.

I was surprised to see her sitting on my bed, though, where else will she be, we share the same room. Buti na lang pinigilan ko ang umiyak, kung nagkataon na nakita nya ako na umiiyak mahabang paliwanagan ito, at wala ako sa mood para makipagkulitan. Alam ko nagulat din sya sa pagkakita nya saken, di ko sya masisisi, nasa harapan nya yung kakambal nya na madungis, mahina at sasabog na ang luha.

But I manage to stay calm.

As expected, she speaks first.

"What happened?" alam ko yun agad ang itatanong nya, sa maghapon na dumaan di ko na rin alam kung anu na nga ba ang nangyare.

Too many to mention my sister.

"Ahmm..you're here, ang aga mo yata." while I'm talking I tried to hide my face from her so I go near my drawer to place my bag.

"Yea, maaga natapos yung pictorial kaya nakauwi ako agad. Kamusta first day? and what happened bakit ganyan ang itsura mo?"  kung may una syang mapapansin saken, I know it will always be how I look. Di ko sya masisisi, dahil alam ko pag tumitingin sya saken nakikita nya ang messed-up version ng sarili nya which is me.

"Oo nga eh, ang dumi ko na, I'll just take a shower. School is fine, don't worry, I just messed up my food earlier." I still try to hide my face, and headed to the bathroom. I can't afford an eye to eye conversation with her right now.

Akala ko tapos na ang mga tanong nya, pero hindi pa pala. 

"Sissy,?" malambing ang boses nya, and I know that sound so much.

"Hmmm.?" I tried to sound as calm and composed as possible.

"You love me right? and you will love everything that will make me happy. Just like what I do for you."  she's right.

"Ofcourse.You're my sister, my twin, my other half.Bakit mo naitanong?" 

As if I didn't know the answer.

"About JC, sinundo nya ko sa studio kanina, we ate outside and...." she paused.

So this is it, we are talking about JC.

"he said he likes me, well he said he loves me." she finished it which sounds like a whisper.

"Do you like him?" I asked her.

"Do you like him first?"  at binalik nya saken ang tanong ko.

"Mag bestfriend kame Xan." I can't help to make it sound bitter.

"Magagalit ka ba kung gusto ko rin sya?" 

Magagalit ba ko? Hindi, masasaktan ako.

"It's not up to me to decide if you'll like him or not. Again, we are JUST BESTFRIENDS. I will be happy for both of you". Nakikita ko ang sarili ko sa salamin habang sinasabi ko ang mga salitang yun. Totoo lahat ng sinabi ko sa kanya, at ngayon isang bagay na lang ang kailangan kong gawin, yun ay tanggapin sa sarili ko ang katotohanan na saken na mismo nanggaling.

It took her a minute bago sya nagsalita and when she finally left the room, I can't help but to burst into tears.

"Thank you sissy.I love you. You know that right? I'll just go downstairs, just continue cleaning up yourself."

I tried to clean up my self. Sana ganito lang din kadali ang tanggalin lahat ng sakit na nararamdaman ko. Kung sana kayang dalhin ng tubig ang mga luha ko. At sana sa paglabas ko isang bagong Xarina na ang haharap sa kanila. Pero hindi, hindi lahat ganun kasimple.

-End of Broken-