The REAL Homestuck Epilogues

Meat (8)

Your name is Rose Lalonde. Your house is dim for no reason other than you can't stand any bright light anymore. It's ironic, seeing as how Light is your entire thing, yet right now your entire thing seems to be reducing you to nothing. There's a wooden radio resting next to you on your couch, the volume hardly turned up a notch due to the possibility that you might catch another migraine from the loudness. The blinds are closed, the TV is off, and Kanaya is out, leaving you all alone in a dark house, slightly accompanied by the bottle of pills resting on your lap.

You just got off the phone with John. Despite your foresight predictions, he wasn't as ecstatic as you thought you knew he was going to be about your news. He should've been ready to go fight Lord English then and there. Every moment he stalls is another moment wasted, and you know that, but you don't know how to let him know that without wearing yourself out. Just talking with him for less than ten minutes has drained all your energy and half of your daily prescription. 

Are you supposed to be taking that many pills at once? The doctor said it was daily... and you took them all in a day... so, technically, you're following instructions very clearly. 

The doorknob quivers and opens very slightly. You shield your eyes and wait for it to shut again.

KANAYA: Hello Darling How Are You Feeling
ROSE: Kanaya, is that you? I've been waiting for your arrival. I believe I've lost track of the time... I can't see the hands on my watch.
KANAYA: Its Around Five In The Afternoon Rose
KANAYA: Were You Able To Rest Today
ROSE: I think so. I can't remember, and jogging my brain all the way back to when I woke up would be an excruciating task for me at the moment.
KANAYA: Then Youve Probably Been Up Since Dawn My Love
ROSE: That must be the case. I wouldn't be feeling this ghastly otherwise.
KANAYA: Would You Like Me To Carry You To The Bedroom So You Can Sleep

Kanaya sits down next to you, her model-like frame and perfect posture outshining your slump. She puts an arm around your waist and gives you a kiss on the side of your head. You can feel her fangs slightly poke through your hair, but (however gross this may seem) you've let her drink your blood directly from your body before, so it doesn't bother you in the slightest. In fact, the feeling of contact with another physical being (being your lovely wife, no less) brings a slight smile to your lips and manages to lift your spirits ever so slightly.

ROSE: I believe I can carry on a bit longer. 
KANAYA: Whatever You Say
KANAYA: Just Please Refrain From Pushing Yourself Because Youre Feeling Guilty Or Some Other Thing
ROSE: Of course.
ROSE: How was another day in the brooding caverns?

Kanaya sighs and leans foreword, resting her arms over her red skirt. 

KANAYA: Would It Be Selfish Of Me To Say That I Would Rather Someone Else Carry Out This Task
ROSE: It depends.
KANAYA: Of Course It Does
KANAYA: Rebuilding The Caverns Is A Much Greater Responsibility Than I Initially Thought
KANAYA: Of Course I Wouldnt Trust Anyone Else But You Myself And Porrim To Do It But Sometimes I Wish That I Could Steal A Jade From Old Alternia And Force Her To Do It For Me
KANAYA: First Of All I Have To Recreate The Lusus Choosing And For That I Need Actual Lusii
KANAYA: But In Order To Have Lusii We Need Another Ocean Full Of Them Which I Doubt Will Just Sprout From The Sweet Bossom Of My Insanity Anytime Soon
ROSE: Can't you just recreate them using Ectobiology? After you make clones, you can release them into the ocean that touches the Troll Kingdom, and after that, their instincts will probably kick in, and you can kick back.
KANAYA: I Suppose That Would Be A Sensible Attempt But How Would We Teach Lusii To Respect Kingdom Borders
ROSE: Maybe once they see that no trolls live in the other kingdoms they'll leave them alone.
KANAYA: Thats Actually A Very Good Idea
KANAYA: I Might Bring It Up To The New President And Ask For Their Approval Before Moving Forward With It
ROSE: You're not involved in the new election, are you?
KANAYA: Not Yet But I Fear I May Soon Be
ROSE: And by that you mean...?
KANAYA: In Case Your Brother Hasnt Told You Yet He And Karkat Are Going To Be Running Against Jane And I Have No Doubt That Theyll Try And Take My Affection Towards Karkat For Granted
ROSE: You feel like that? I would think that Karkat would ask for your motherly support like he always does. He's not the manipulative type.
KANAYA: I Agree On That
KANAYA: But What About Dave
ROSE: Dave?
KANAYA: Hes Dirks Son Is He Not
ROSE: Well... technically, yes, but actually, no.
KANAYA: Close Enough
KANAYA: On The Contrary I Recall Daves Tales Of Beta Dirk And His Manipulative Nature
KANAYA: And From What Dirk Has Told Us About Alpha Dave It Seems Like He Was The Same In Some Ways
KANAYA: Even Now Dirk Has Been Known To Twist The Goodness In A Person For Some Sort Of Personal Gain
ROSE: You're talking about him and Jake, right?
KANAYA: Yes Exactly 
ROSE: That wasn't completely Dirk's fault. Jake... wasn't the brightest, and he still isn't, but at least he knows how to stick up for himself now.
KANAYA: That Is True
KANAYA: I Guess Im Just Afraid Of What Will Happen To All Of Us When The News Goes Public
KANAYA: Once Jane Finds Out Shes Going To Try And Recruit All Of Us Into Backing Her Up 
KANAYA: And With Dirk As Her Right Hand Man I Dont Doubt That Theyll Have An Easy Time Gaining Followers
KANAYA: And I Think-
ROSE: Why are we even conversing on the topic of politics in the first place, Kanaya?